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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some posters on here lie?

216 replies

mystar · 09/02/2019 23:54

This leads on from the drinking thread. Yes, when my daughter was a baby I barely drank but she’s now 12 so I don’t think twice about smashing a bottle of wine on a Friday or Saturday night.

Obviously if she was ill it would be a different story.

When she was at junior school her pack up regularly included Pom bears or the the Aldi equivalent. And, every now and again we have dinner which consists of freezer tapas or a beige platter (chips/goujons etc). We even sometimes have said platter in front of the tv.

I also swear inadvertently in front of her and I don’t use my recycling bins properly.

Sometimes when I read things on here I think I must be the worst mother in the world. AIBU to think I am normal? Are there others out there like me?

OP posts:
CJ357119 · 12/02/2019 07:38

MN tends to be a place of over exaggeration. People bragging about their children, their income, their holidays etc. I suppose it’s harmless to them but it could make someone else feel insecure. Maybe that’s the plan.

Smotheroffive · 13/02/2019 17:57

There are many with high incomes DC excelling, doesn't mean they are lies or only said to make others feel shit. Should those doing well be shut down because others don't want to hear it? I don't think that's what free speech is about at all.

maybe that's the plan Hmm. I shouldn't think there's anything further from the truth.

Froggyface · 13/02/2019 20:37

I would never dare post my income on here, I would be destroyed. I would love to post it and ask for opinions as to why I waste it all but I unfortunately know that I would be ripped to shreds, the downside of MN. I have a super, high achieving, rugby captain dc, also two dc that regularly make suicide attempts. I wish I could post about that but I am scared of the responses.

ethelfleda · 13/02/2019 20:41

Nobody on here lies, ever.

Yours sincerely, Britney Spears.

AngelaStorm73 · 13/02/2019 20:48

I prefer being lied to anonymously on the Internet than to my face?!

PortiaCastis · 13/02/2019 20:50

I'm self employed so don't know my income therefore cannot post about it but would probably be 2017/2018 skint skint and broke but not quite bankrupt
Dd did do well at school but now she's at uni she's struggling and needs a kick up the butt to get motivated or she'll end up coming home
On the bright side I've got dd got my Mum got a roof over my head and food in the fridge so I'm better off than many many others

toomuchtoolittle · 13/02/2019 20:55

Op are you me?! 😂 I saw that thread and I thought "oh my they must be lying to make themselves look like a saint"

I do all what you describes in your op, I have 5 kids and if I didn't drink on a regular basis it be in the local but house by now 🤦🏻‍♀️ we also have beige food probably 2/3 a week. It's fine..your doing fine 👌🏼

Smotheroffive · 13/02/2019 20:59

What I can't believe sometimes is that a poster will say something as sad and shocking as was froggyface just said and it doesn't even seem to be noticed yet alone acknowledged or god forbid, empathy be shown!!!
Bloody hell! MNers can be truly ignorant
Flowers ...and do post if you need help but not here clearly!

PortiaCastis · 13/02/2019 21:38

Froggyface. Please don't stop posting because of a few arseholes, if you need help or a chat there are people on here who are nice and will be kind it's just finding them on topics not AIBU.
If I can help you at all please PM me and I'll try

Smotheroffive · 13/02/2019 21:44

Same here @froggyface

Froggyface · 13/02/2019 22:45

Oh I feel bad now, honestly wasn’t posting for sympathy but I would like to be honest about certain things and I know that I would get torn apart. Some of it my own fault, thanks for the nice comments though, really appreciated.

Smotheroffive · 13/02/2019 22:53

Nobody said you were posting for sympathy, good you said it in fact!

You think its your fault that two of your DC want to commit suicide? Surely that's not what you mean? Do you think you could set up a thread of your own, somewhere where you'll get support, away from where people judge as if you surely must be lying or just showing off to offend people and that sort of bollocks

CruCru · 13/02/2019 22:58

I’m always surprised at how many people claim to have gone to “Oxbridge”. The people I know in real life who went to either Oxford or Cambridge always seem to refer to their time at “College” and talk about it quite differently from those posters.

AngelaStorm73 · 13/02/2019 23:07

@CruCru
Yes you have to ask the people I know which college they do not volunteer it. Even the lecturers.
They talk as though it could be any college. Is it academic inverted snobbery I wonder?

Froggyface · 13/02/2019 23:13

Smotheroffive no I don’t think that bit is my fault, they both have mental health problems, one ASD. I have posted about it once under another name and had some very kind PMs. I would also like to post about me spending a huge amount of money as a stress release and a way of coping. I know if I posted about that I would get flamed, possibly rightly so, I also think I would be accused of lying. I would just really like to post it all and lay it all out.

Smotheroffive · 13/02/2019 23:40

I think you would be one of many, retail therapy isn't a thing for no reason. Try not to be so hard on yourself. If you think it would help, just don't do it here I guess. You're not alone in using it as a way of coping.

I am really sorry for your struggles and stresses Flowers if it wasn't spending money, it would be something else.

Auslander · 13/02/2019 23:45

I've just popped on this thread to tell you that no one on MN tells lies.

I live in a six bedroom, seven bathroom country pile with my very high earning husband and two straight A grade children.
I have four master's from the Russell Group, along with a master's from Oxbridge.
I earn a seven figure sum annually from my business that I set up myself with nothing more than a cup of tea, a chocolate digestive and my phone.
I have next season's mulberry bag on annual order as a treat to myself for being such a fantastic woman. I also drive a white range rover, which is currently parked in my triple garage, alongside my Audi A7 which I use for when I'm attending the governor's meeting at my children's exclusive private school.
I employ a cleaner, a nanny, an au pair and a gardener, because my husband and I are far too busy to undertake these tasks ourselves, what with our careers that often take us overseas. Business class of course, we couldn't possibly travel cattle class. Ugh, all those germ ridden peasants!
I must now go and book another exotic holiday for my children's half term break next week and listen to their piano recitals. My DS AlfieQuentin struggles a little compared to his DS HeavenlyHeather with the piano it has to be said, so I am considering sacking the tutor in favour of the one that my DC headmaster uses for his children.
I think I may have a cheeky glass of Bollinger while I am awaiting my Waitrose delivery of organic, high protein, vegan shopping.

#Theaboveisaloadofoldbollocks

AngelaStorm73 · 13/02/2019 23:47

@Froggyface

Do you think it might be worth posting even if you did get some haters (jealous folk) you are not the only one who spends money to feel better. I get that there's the "I've got no money to feed my kids" brigade (and actually I've been there which only makes my current spending more shameful) but there are plenty of people who spend money to feel better (me, for instance). I think it's a common response to stress, actually, and feeling out of control of your life or emotions.
People who don't have much spend on low cost stuff (eg. Poundland, primark) to feel better. People on a high income spend money on higher cost stuff (eg. designer clothes, jewellery). It is the same issue. Just with a different budget. Smile

CruCru · 14/02/2019 07:49

@AngelaStorm73

I wonder whether it is just the custom at those universities. I think when you apply, you have to pick a specific college so maybe it is quite a different experience, depending on which college you went to.

Slowknitter · 14/02/2019 07:56

Of course people lie. But also different people are 'good' about different things. So MN as a whole might give you the impression that everyone's an all-round saint, but actually the people posting about their saintly packed lunches aren't necessarily the same ones who also only have a thimble of sherry once a year.

I'm a bit baffled by people who disbelieve the light drinkers tbh. There's a lot if evidence that alcohol consumption is going down. Also, certain threads attract certain types of posters, so the view is skewed.

Slowknitter · 14/02/2019 08:25

I’m always surprised at how many people claim to have gone to “Oxbridge”. The people I know in real life who went to either Oxford or Cambridge always seem to refer to their time at “College” and talk about it quite differently from those posters.

People phrase things differently according to their audience. Referring to your time 'at college' would not mean Oxford or Cambridge to most people unless they went there too.

MariaNovella · 14/02/2019 08:28

In my family, people who went to Oxford or Cambridge say “When I was up at Caius”, “When I was at at John’s” etc etc

Slowknitter · 14/02/2019 08:40

"When I was up at Caius”, “When I was at at John’s” etc etc I never say that, because using specifically Oxbridge terminology like that always feels a bit ostentatious to me tbh. I'd just say 'when I was at university', unless it was relevant to specify, in which case I'd say Oxbridge, or Oxford, or my college, depending on how detailed I wanted to be.

JacquesHammer · 14/02/2019 08:51

The thing is, people you meet IRL assume you’re lying about not drinking, so why would MN be any different Grin

RedForShort · 14/02/2019 09:10

Surely no one claims to have gone to 'Oxbridge'! Slightly obvious problem there. Or do they?!