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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
gilchrist168 · 10/02/2019 15:03

Blimey, this is ridiculous. Have you any friends you can ring up and bring round, say half a dozen at least? Choir practice, or something very noisy.

lubeybooby · 10/02/2019 15:08

ffs OP sort it out

Squigglesworth · 10/02/2019 15:09

Totally reasonable to give her notice.

Even if she wasn't 100% clear on the house rules (about not taking over the rest of the house with her guests), any normal (non-CF) person should pick up on some social cues and realize that maybe she's inconveniencing you-- and then take her guests out for a walk or something!

It seems much more likely that she knows you're not happy, but doesn't care, and I'd want her out as quickly as possible.

theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 15:12

it's all well and good saying blast music etc, but op also has her neighbours to think about.

4-hour trip. It's already 3. I don't think they are leaving today.

Time to just be blunt op - walk in there, and say its time for you to leave. You've already overstayed your welcome. Cfer lodger, consider this your notice to move. I told you at the beginning one guest with advance notice and as a lodger, the living room is out of bounds.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:14

No they didn't go out all weekend from Friday afternoon When they arrived

Have had a chat and explained it's not acceptable to me and given a months notice

OP posts:
Mscandylamb · 10/02/2019 15:14

My mum sometimes hosts foreign exchange students for extra cash in her home. No way on Gods earth would she allow this to take place in her own house. The good thing about using an agency is one phone call and the student/s are out on the ear if they disrespect her rules.

I myself have been a landlady and I have had good and bad experiences with it. Trust your gut and get rid if you feel like they're over stepping the mark which from what Ive read they clearly are.

punishmepunisher · 10/02/2019 15:15

Well done OP. Did she understand?

cheesenpickles · 10/02/2019 15:16

Got @Nutmeggy!

cheesenpickles · 10/02/2019 15:16

Ahem. GO*

Fiddie · 10/02/2019 15:17

Well done OP, hope it went okay.

Holidayshopping · 10/02/2019 15:18

Was she surprised?

FinallyHere · 10/02/2019 15:19

@Solstice888

Its only a one off for 2 nights though right?

We have no idea how long the lodger's guests are staying, all we know is that she, the lodger, is required to give notice of any guests and did not do so. And, if she had given notice, @Nutmeggy would probably said that any guests must sleep in the lodgers room.

No case for leniency in my book

Just seen your update @Nutmeggy, glad you have got it over with.

mmmm25 · 10/02/2019 15:20

What did the CF lodger have to say for herself OP?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:20

No it was all very civil, she wasn't surprised at all I don't think, said her friend and child had not given her any notice so she couldn't give me any
I just reiterated I had felt uncomfortable all weekend and it wasn't what I wanted so she would be better finding somewhere else

OP posts:
sushisuperstar · 10/02/2019 15:20

@Nutmeggy have had lodgers, flat mates, seen it all the good bad and really bad.

It's not easy living with strangers full stop but ones who aren't considerate are the worse.

You would have been nuts to not have taken action over this. Although in future be really really clear - like ridiculously so- about everything before the person moves in.

Firgoodnesssake · 10/02/2019 15:20

Good for you Nutmeggy

Please tell us that the visitors have left and how the conversation went down with your CF lodger

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:21

Thank you for all the support
Now going to clean lounge and have a glass of wine, slightly stressful weekend !

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 10/02/2019 15:22

What a rubbish excuse! Friend and child should have gone to some B&B or hotel then, where the lodger could have joined them.

Firgoodnesssake · 10/02/2019 15:23

The friend and her child have left, yes?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:24

Yes they have left now!

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 15:25

No the cfer should be cleaning the place - lounge, kitchen, bathroom etc whilst you enjoy your wine. It's the least she could do. Not your problem if her mate decided to just visit.

drspouse · 10/02/2019 15:28

Well done OP!
She could have said no to the guests, or put them up in her room!

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:29

I'm just grateful they have gone now and the notice convo was civil

I've had lodgers for years and some have stayed a few years but a few small bad experiences mean now if I think they are taking the piss I do something immediately , worst one was a girl who bought a guy back and so drunk started having sex in the lounge noisily !
But generally had some great lodgers and met some lovely people so not all bad

OP posts:
mmmm25 · 10/02/2019 15:40

Did she offer any explanation as to why they didn't sleep in her room rather than the lounge?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 15:41

No none! Just said a hotel was too expensive

OP posts: