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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
Juells · 10/02/2019 14:10

I dunno, still think you are massively overreacting.

How is she overreacting? Strangers sleeping in her sitting room so she can't use it?

Wauden · 10/02/2019 14:11

Surely they must be off to the seafront soon!

TowandaForever · 10/02/2019 14:12

I don't understand why you would give notice instead of just having a conversation about your house rules.

Both are going to be awkward conversations.

Greenkit · 10/02/2019 14:18

First off what does the agreement say

Can she have guests and what is the notice period for staying
Does she have use of the lounge

I have lodgers in my house (with husband) and we have a lodger agreement, they are not to use the lounge, but have use of bedroom, kitchen and bathroom.

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:21

Its only a one off for 2 nights though right? Fair enough if it happened again I'd be pissed but she clearly hasnt set the rules down well enough (which happens, and takes opportunities like these to readjust).

Give u an example: had a lodger once, she told me that 2 nights per week she would be late home from work (11ish) and need to shower before bed (bathroom right outside my bedroom). I said fine. It was actually 5 nights per week and 12- 1am.

So after about 10 days of this, I sat her down and had a chat, she said that her work schedule had changed for the next 2 months of holidays and that she'd also beenhping out with work friends after work. I asked her if there could be a compromise (eg: shower before leaving so that it doesn't wake me or come home straight after work most nights instead of getting a wee dram after). She said no, so THEN I gave her her notice. But I tried to find compromise first. Because that's what you do when you live with someone, lodger or not.

ThunderStorms · 10/02/2019 14:24

Can’t believe people are saying see if it happens again!

OP it’s not working and you are within your rights to give notice. I would do so ASAP.

Maybe look into weekend lets etc , since you live in Brighton.

Jux · 10/02/2019 14:25

Is it really worth giving notice when it's only got a couple of months to run anyway?

Obviously you have to tackle this, but you can do that with a conversation where you reiterate the rules and tell her plainly what they mean in practise. Then you still have a lodger for the next couple of months, without having to look for another yet. She may decide she'd rather go anyway if she can't take over your lounge etc.

ThunderStorms · 10/02/2019 14:27

Is it really worth giving notice when it's only got a couple of months to run anyway?

Yes!! Because then she’ll be out in one month instead of two! (Are you the lodger? Wink)

ThanosSavedMe · 10/02/2019 14:27

Definitely not over reacting.

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:37

Technically 4 weeks instead if 6 (if she has already done 6 WK of 3 month). Not to mention it would be 4 very uncomfortable weeks. Where as if she just said 'hey, that wasn't really OK, don't do it again during your time here', chances are that would be that and the next 6 weeks would go smoothly.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 14:39

No update as they are all still here !

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 10/02/2019 14:40

I would consider that a violation of the lodging arrangements and give her the shortest notice possible. You are renting a room not the entire place. The info is a bit wishy washy in that it states that the notice period is normally 28 days for lodgers but at the same time, it also mentions that it can be shorter. And with any gross breach, it can be instant. I used to be quite laid back letting out a room but then encountered too many CFs and became pretty strict, as when you give an inch to this sort of person, it will be miles.

heightst · 10/02/2019 14:42

Does she actually know that she's being a CF?

Maybe she genuinely thinks that she's entitled the use the house as she pleases?

Obviously this is wrong, but perhaps she genuinely thinks that it's ok...

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:43

A gross breach is usually like threatening behaviour or damage to the property though so...

But I'm not saying don't be strict, I mean I'd certainly be telling her that a repeat of this behaviour is most certainly not OK. But I doubt I'd kick her out for it.

Buxtonstill · 10/02/2019 14:43

Just go into the living room and put the TV onto something you want to watch. Or put the radio on, loud. So what if visitor/child feel awkward? Your lodger has caused that, not you.

Cuttingthegrass · 10/02/2019 14:43

Oh now I’d be really angry. Feel for you OP.

Fillybuster · 10/02/2019 14:50

I’d be fuming OP....another one who can’t understand pps who are suggesting you should suck it up Shock

Firgoodnesssake · 10/02/2019 14:51

My patience would have run out at this stage and I’d ask the lodger for a quiet word then very clearly say that you haven’t been able to enjoy your own house at all this weekend as it’s been taken over so when are her visitors leaving?

Firgoodnesssake · 10/02/2019 14:55

Stick in a load of washing, blast the radio, plump the cushions in the living room - get the hoover out
Let them know they’re in your way!!!

Grumpelstilskin · 10/02/2019 14:55

I know it is easier to post behind a screen when you are not in the situation but I would and have told unexpected and uninvited guests of lodgers that they either have to leave or all go into the lodgers room.

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 14:57

Yeah they should have at least given you Sunday afternoon. Bit rude of them now.

SearchingForSeaGlass · 10/02/2019 14:58

Are you sure that you must give a month's notice? A week seems more than fair, given that she has broken the rules.

SearchingForSeaGlass · 10/02/2019 14:58

Obviously I am not a lawyer etc

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 10/02/2019 15:00

Can’t believe this!!! What a cf!
Have they gone out at all over the weekend?!!

Wauden · 10/02/2019 15:03

Can you start hoovering v loudly, thradh metal on, or Wagner v v loud, say you heard that there is lots of free children's entertainment on the seafront right now?

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