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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
2birds1stone · 10/02/2019 05:22

For those who get put of lodgers. Not all lodgers are arseholes.

I was one once and in my mind had a good relationship with my landlord.

I helped clean the communal parts of the house, fixed his computer. If i was up late and forgot my voice level he would pop his head round the door and all was ok. We watched communal telly together. He even stayed at his girlfriend's when I wanted to.do a meal for a boyfriend. We would chat about women etc. He even let me dog sit my parents dog.

For over a year we had a great relationship ship. Eventually I decided I wanted to go it alone and we left on very amicable terms.

Lodgers can work you just need to find one that as the same outlook and morals as you. Proper interviews and ground rules help with that

pissedonatrain · 10/02/2019 06:04

2 days is not a huge deal.

Fancyacuppaluv · 10/02/2019 07:07

I’m a big gobsmacked at the cheek.
And I really hope the visitor is on MN!
YADNBU

Fancyacuppaluv · 10/02/2019 07:08

Bit gobsmacked, not big, although that works!

NotANotMan · 10/02/2019 07:27

Lodgers are not equal tenants. I rent and have a lodger some of the time. The lodger pays less than 1/3 of what the house costs to run, does no communal cleaning and has no financial commitment so he doesn't have equal status in the house. He asks if he wants to invite his girlfriend round and barely uses the living room (his choice, out of respect, I hardly use it either but he respects it as my space)
There is no way in hell his guests would be sleeping in the living room. Shut that down!

FinallyHere · 10/02/2019 07:31

Goodness I feel for you, how horrid have to put up with this for your precious weekend

Glad to read that you will give notice on Sunday.

New lodgers are much easier to find that good places to lodge, don't let yourself in for more CFery.

For those saying no biggie WTactualF ?

JaesseJexaMaipru · 10/02/2019 07:35

Massive cheeky fuckery! Excellent Luther-watching but I wish you had made it a Luther marathon to 2am so that they had to all sleep in lodger's room.

Please do update once you have told CFer to leave.

Holidayshopping · 10/02/2019 07:41

That is so rude! What have you said to your lodger?

crosspelican · 10/02/2019 07:43

I take it they're all still asleep?

marcopront · 10/02/2019 07:47

Life is too short to be mean to others. I like to treat others as I would like to be treated.

Does this apply to the lodger or just the OP?

GreasyFryUp · 10/02/2019 07:54

I have a lodger they share all of the downstairs but not the lounge. That's mine. They spend most of their time in their room. You might want to think about that with your next lodger.

brummiesue · 10/02/2019 08:03

Would it really have hurt you to have let them watch a kids movie and have a takeaway for one night?

DerelictWreck · 10/02/2019 08:19

Brummiesue have you read the thread? Do you understand the situation?

LellyMcKelly · 10/02/2019 08:28

She’s only there for 3 months. It’s the first time she’s done it and her friends are only there for a few nights. If she’s otherwise a good lodger a quick friendly reminder that guests need to be agreed at least a week in advance and need to stay in her room is a far more appropriate response that kicking her out (not to mention the cash you’d be losing out on).

Barbarafromblackpool · 10/02/2019 08:45

I doubt they'll be off first thing. Don't sound the type!

crunchie12 · 10/02/2019 08:49

I'd be asking her to get on that bus with her friend and daughter!

Loopytiles · 10/02/2019 08:56

I think giving notice could be an overreaction, that could cost you financially. I’d specify 5 days’ notice, that “guest” means one person, and staying in her room.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 09:52

Thanks for replies, all valid points.

I think where I have an issue is that she rents one room, probably paying a quarter of running costs of this house and to take over the lounge for the entire weekend and the kitchen is not on.

I got the lounge and kitchen back Saturday by very obviously using them, Friday night they did take over as they did Saturday lunchtime

As soon as I feel awkward in my own home that's when I think notice is needed

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 09:53

And as a poster mentioned earlier yes like you say I do all the cleaning!

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 10/02/2019 10:16

Solstice888. But they're not living together. It's not a shared house, the lodger is renting a room in the OP's home. She's can't just expect to rock up with guests and install them in the living room, a room she isn't paying to have the use of.

southeastdweller · 10/02/2019 10:55

I agree that her taking the piss in such a big way like this is a reason to give notice. You'll find someone better in no time at all in Brighton where living costs are so high.

Guavaf1sh · 10/02/2019 11:01

I too think that your lodger may not necessarily know she’s done the wrong thing - be kind to her when you tell her - and I doubt it will happen again. Seems a bit harsh to go straight to eviction from this

FinallyHere · 10/02/2019 11:09

lodger may not necessarily know she’s done the wrong thing

What part of 'visitors with notice' could possibly be misunderstood? Someone who overlooks details like that would benefit more from a serious consequence.

Pinkprincess1978 · 10/02/2019 11:26

How can anyone not know this is out of order? Even if this was a jointly rented flat, flat mates should discuss if they want to have guests and said guests taking over a shared space for a prolonged period of time. The fact they don't flat share but this is ops home that she is just renting out ONE room of lakes it totally wrong.

I hope your lodger is ok when you jane words today.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 11:53

Im generally easy going but its nearly noon and the lounhe is still occupied and now the kitchen taken over by someone cooking a big fry up.
I feel like the lodger stuck in my room!

OP posts: