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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
Gruzinkerbell1 · 09/02/2019 21:16

What @Mummyoflittledragon said. You're too nice OP! Hope they don't hang around all day tomorrow like a bad smell and head off nice and early. In fact I'd probably make a pointed comment to the mother about needing to head off now to avoid the traffic.

FrogFairy · 09/02/2019 21:30

I understand you don’t want to upset the little girl. Rather than saying anything I would text the lodger and say that the living room is shared space and not appropriate for her guests to sleep there and they must share her rented room.

cornflakes5 · 09/02/2019 22:10

Poor you OP. This isn't on, and giving notice tomorrow sounds like the right thing for you if you no longer feel like you can trust her. Hope your Saturday night hasn't been too bad despite the situation Thanks

imadethedecision · 09/02/2019 22:17

I had a lodger in a 2 bed flat. She was a Christian and not allowed to share a room with her partner so every other bloody weekend he’d sleep on my brand new sofa. Also I did shift work and want to go in my lounge at 3am for a drink, food etc and couldn’t due to him being asleep.
And if it wasn’t her bf then it was her mum, or dad, or sister on my sofa. So annoying.

AGHHHH · 09/02/2019 22:19

Yanbu. She's not your housemate who pays an equal share of rent to have an equal say and do what she wants with the place. I'm a pushover and wouldn't give notice with only 6 weeks left, especially as she likely isn't in a great position if she's lodging, but I see why you are!

Fiddie · 09/02/2019 22:22

So they left the living room when you went in?

Isn't it all awkward?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 22:40

Extremely awkward they want to watch kids movies on their own I think
Hence why am so pissed off
As I don't like being made to feel like I'm the interloper !!!

OP posts:
Fiddie · 09/02/2019 22:41

I don't blame you, definitely give notice.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/02/2019 22:47

Wanting to watch kids tv alone is why hotels were invented. If you can’t say it face to face, text as suggested by FrogFairy. They’re banking on you being intimidated or a pushover.

imade
That’s outrageous. I’m surprised you didn’t give her notice pdq.

Bakingberry · 09/02/2019 22:59

OP, sorry you're having such an awful night. They sound crazy. I don't understand why they seem so happy just staying in and watching TV. They could easily do that at home, without traveling for 4 hours and sleeping on your sofa.

Good luck having a chat tomorrow.

spinabifidamom · 09/02/2019 23:02

Perhaps you should definitely ask them if they can move out. We decided to rent out our spare room for extra money last summer. It did not work out well. I stopped after four weeks. Do you have a contract drawn up or not? Pack up all their belongings and insist on them staying in a hotel room instead. Clearly this is not working out for anyone.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 09/02/2019 23:14

So the child is still awake?

Duck90 · 09/02/2019 23:15

I totally understand where you are coming from. But, personally I would try breeze through their visit. The visitors are technically innocent in this situation. On. Sunday you can deal with it. Yes this is not the lodger for you.

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/02/2019 23:22

The visitors are technically innocent in this situation.

Well the child certainly is but I’m not convinced the friend is blameless. If I was visiting a friend who was lodging I would show some respect and consideration to the householder. Not just sprawl around their living room, eating takeaways and expecting to watch what I wanted to on the telly. Oh and then to sleep on their sofa overnight. The only way the friend is innocent is if she thinks the lodger is in an equal houseshare.

Duck90 · 09/02/2019 23:28

alexa yes, I see what you are saying. But, the visiting adult may be only taking the lead from the person who lives there. I wouldn’t question a person if they said it was okay to come stay. I would be horrified if I had traveled and found out that my visit was causing such a negative response.

SpanielEars070 · 09/02/2019 23:28

I'd have a late night TV binge then OP tonight.

And make lots of noise early tomorrow, time for a thorough clean of the place from top to bottom??

Dongdingdong · 09/02/2019 23:30

I’m always amazed at the number of posters on MN who breezily advise other posters to “take in a lodger” if they’re a bit short on cash that month. I honestly can’t think of anything more stressful than giving up part of my home to a total stranger. You have my sympathies, OP Flowers

Duck90 · 09/02/2019 23:36

Or just be nice, get through the weekend and address the matter on Sunday? Life is too short to be mean to others. I like to treat others as I would like to be treated. Not every subscribes to this (like the tenant) , but I deal with it as it comes.

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/02/2019 23:36

Duck. I agree. I can only assume that the guest has been given the wrong impression by the lodger.

Duck90 · 09/02/2019 23:44

alexa absolutely. And equally not knowing the people,there is a chance she does know she isn’t welcome. I would like to think that no one has such a brass neck to turn up unwanted, and jeopardise someone’s accommodation. People are strange though.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 09/02/2019 23:52

I think your lodger knew you would say no if you were given enough notice but I do think you should have told her straightaway you were not happy about it and they would all need to stay/sleep in her room regardless of how cramped it was.

Yes, I’d be giving notice now as well.

Marcipex · 09/02/2019 23:57

I'm kind of sorry for them. I guess the friend has no one to leave the child with.

SilverySurfer · 10/02/2019 00:10

The more I read about lodgers the more pleased I am that I decided not to get one. I did think about it and the money would have been really useful but now glad I didn't.

Good luck tomorrow OP.

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 00:20

I must be the only one that doesn't think it is a huge deal. I mean fair enough if it was a random guy or something but it is two women and this is a one off (so far). I mean I would definitely have words with her along the lines of 'this can't be a regular thing and I need to have at least a weeks notice before anyone comes to stay' but I wouldn't kick her out based purely on this.

Having said that, the guest really should have introduced herself and apologised for intruding and they really should have asked if you wanted to share their takeaway considering they are gonna be sleeping on your couch...

Hmm...I dunno...I would just better lay down the laws in future. It takes time for people to adjust to living together and in the grand scheme of things, what's a couple of guests for a day or two once in a blue moon. Go in and join them, you might make a new friend.

yummumto3girls · 10/02/2019 00:22

I too would have told her that her friend and child need to sleep in her rented room! At a minimum the child should be in there!