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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be massively irritated at new lodger

304 replies

Nutmeggy · 09/02/2019 17:17

Hi all
Sat fuming at the moment.

6 weeks ago I got a lodger short term for three months.

All was fine until Friday when she told me by text that her friend was coming to stay for the weekend bringing her 8 year old daughter

Got text Friday evening, by the time I arrived home they were here. Took them 4 hours by coach so not like they live near by.

However I think you have to ask and 2 extra people here all weekend not very relaxing.

Going to.have words with lodger when they have gone tomorrow but seriously who does this?

Massive over reach on part of lodger i think particularly as they are sleeping in lounge

OP posts:
RandomMess · 10/02/2019 12:55

I would go and and say I want to watch x now so you'll need to sit elsewhere...

viques · 10/02/2019 12:56

I think it is time for you to get the Hoover out, and you always sing along to show tunes while you Hoover don't you OP, then windows open wide to air out the sitting room, possibly make sure you make some very personal remarks about your lodger bathroom habits -couched as a joke naturally - to explain your need for fresh air. Then plonk yourself down on the sofa for a binge watch of something unsuitable for an 8 year old, there are some excellent box sets about Mexican drug cartels, or how about a quick re run of Game of Thrones.

Ask the guest what time their coach leaves, and keep reminding them to get to the coach station early, Sunday services and all. Then ask for their weekend rental. Divide the lodgers rent by seven then charge for three nights (two for the adult, one for the child) , make sure you ask for cash.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 12:56

Lol don't make me crosser than I already am!

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 10/02/2019 12:59

because it's the kind thing to do.

It always irritates me when I see a poster suggesting another poster should be ‘kind’. It usually means that you should let some CF walk all over you because it’s nice to be ‘kind’.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 10/02/2019 13:00

I am glad I am not a lodger

So am I. It's much nicer to have a home to yourself so you can have guests over whenever you want without bothering your landlord. If you don't have the luxury of your own living room you can't invite guests and their children over to sleep in the living room and take it over for an entire weekend

flameycakes · 10/02/2019 13:01

I'm in awe at your patience x

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 10/02/2019 13:01

'It's time for you all to leave now. I wasn't given notice about having guests and guests are also supposed to stay in X's room, so I'm not best pleased with you lot treating my house like a self-catering lodge and it's time for you both to leave.'

Then give her notice.

Justaboy · 10/02/2019 13:02

Now I have kids I will host exchange students and had a no guest policy.

Good idea that if there is a market in Brighton for it. We did that some years ago worked very well indeed some girls from Hong Kong and China & Japan all very polite and impecibly behaved they were too:)

As others have said wait till they've gone and please don't have any nasty scenes with the child around..

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/02/2019 13:05

Yes it's obvious I'm pissed off but just waiting till they are gone now

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2019 13:07

Not sure it’s obvious to them you’re pissed off. They sound as thick as mince.

cheesenpickles · 10/02/2019 13:08

Death metal. Lots of loud swears Norwegian death metal.

pigsDOfly · 10/02/2019 13:08

There's a massive market for exchange students and short term language student accommodation in Brighton.

Might be something that would suit you OP.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 10/02/2019 13:09

Yes it's obvious I'm pissed off but just waiting till they are gone now

No, it isn't. CFers have hides like rhinos. They don't give a shit, especially when people behave like wallies.

You have to tell them to leave or they'll hang round.

Giving her notice is definitely the way to go.

cheesenpickles · 10/02/2019 13:10

Or invite every single person you know round now.

DaedricLordSlayer · 10/02/2019 13:11

It's time for you all to leave now. I wasn't given notice about having guests and guests are also supposed to stay in X's room, so I'm not best pleased with you lot treating my house like a self-catering lodge and it's time for you both to leave

Then give her notice

It's time for this

lubeybooby · 10/02/2019 13:11

You must take a stand now OP or they'll end up staying a week

bettytaghetti · 10/02/2019 13:12

Elaine Page is on Radio 2 right now. I find that usually clears a room quite quickly!! Grin

Bluntness100 · 10/02/2019 13:13

I'd have t agree this isn't on. She should have asked if she intended to use the sitting room as a bedroom. I would also give notice based on this.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/02/2019 13:14

She’s put you in a very uncomfortable position - she has to go!

theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 13:18

Are you sure they are leaving today?

werideatdawn · 10/02/2019 13:18

Omg say something! I'd have kicked them all out by now.

theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 13:22

Text her and ask her when the unwanted guests are leaving. and yes I would word it like that.

As for the people saying it's no big deal, well pm the op your address and she can send the three of them to yours to take over your place.

Juells · 10/02/2019 13:22

I think where I have an issue is that she rents one room, probably paying a quarter of running costs of this house and to take over the lounge for the entire weekend and the kitchen is not on.

Grrrrr there are some very entitled CFs around, who push and push. I had a lodger once who gradually took over a whole floor of my house when she was renting just a bedroom and separate kitchen (very cheaply, I might add, she was paying less than the going rate for a single bedroom and shared-everything-else). She also had the use of a bathroom to herself, mostly, as I have a bathroom on the floor I use. A few days after she moved in she asked if she could move to a (coincidentally much bigger) bedroom as she'd heard a door slam in the house next door and felt that 'there was an angry energy to it'.

I explained I didn't want anyone in that bigger room as I was in the room underneath, and watched TV quite late. She assured me she didn't mind. She moved into the bigger room, but left her things in the smaller room and used it as a study.

A few weeks later my sister came to stay, and was in another room on the same floor as her. The day after my sister arrived the tenant came with a very angry complaint about how it would have been polite to ask her permission before letting my sister stay. Confused I said No, it wouldn't, and got a bit Hmm A few weeks after that she very pompously announced that we needed to agree a time for me to turn off my TV at night, and she felt 10pm was a time anyone would agree was reasonable. At that stage I gave her a month's notice. :(

CFs abound.

hellojason · 10/02/2019 13:28

Invite round your bluntest friend who can then say to them "oh, hello, who are you? Have you been staying in X's room? You haven't been kipping on Nutmeggy's sofa have you? Oh, didn't know she allowed that..."

In other words if you're playing good cop get someone to walk in and play bad cop. These CF's need a reality check.

WombatChocolate · 10/02/2019 13:37

I think the lesson is to spell out your expectations more thoroughly next time. So you'd expect 48 hours notice of 1 guest coming for a max of 2 nights, sleeping in tenants room with them. Plus you'd expect tenant and guest to be careful not to take over communal space. Guests acceptable X times a month at most.

You can give notice now or make clear you've been disappointed with what's happened about clarify what you want in future.