Parents who don't get their children to give up seats!

[thatsmyspace]

Went to the doctors this morning and had a long wait.it was extremely busy as it usually is on a Saturday morning. And I was extremely shocked at the amount of parents that don't make their children give up there seats so others can sit down. An elderly gentleman positioned hisself at the end of a row of seats when right next to him was a child of maybe 4/5 and her mother the other side of her. She didn't even move the child onto her lap and offer the elderly gentleman the seat. A lady that was sitting close by stood up and gave him her chair. Another parent did the exact same thing when a pregnant lady with her toddler came in. She didn't move her child to let the pregnant lady sit down. So I stood up and offered my chair.

This isn't the first time I've encountered this. You see it all the time. Where's is people common courtesy! Maybe it's because I was raised to give up my seat to my elders I just don't understand this rudeness.

I was taught to give up my seat to ladies and elderly, but also for adults in general, I was also taught to hold doors open and move out of peoples way on pavements, its just good manners.
For my mam (and now myself) manners would supersede any other concerns. She would have said in the case mentioned above (ie doctors surgery) that other people were ill too and I should think of them however ill I was, and give up my seat!
Today in the age of self importance and self entitlement, I am not surprised people would not make their kids move.
Obviously I don't expect this view to be a popular one on MN! LOL

Even with your drip feed yabu. When I go to the drs I have to be very ill so the thought of having a child climbing over me would be horrendous. If you have to take them then getting them settled and calm is vital especially if you are ill

How do you know the kids are "fine to stand" though?

I do think it is a reflection of the value in which children are held to be honest.

I always offer my seat (unless ill) because I can.

However I don’t judge strangers who don’t because you don’t know what’s going on with them

I think you should mind your own business OP, maybe they had a long walk to the surgery, have invisible illnesses or have been kept up all night by their mothers illness - you just don't know.

Your logic is odd too, by your reasoning about elders being anyone older than you, my dtwin 2 should stand to allow his brother who is minutes older than him sit down, even though it's not obvious to judgey strangers such as yourself, dtwin2 really struggles to stand for long periods of time with hidden health issues but dtwin1 is completely able. Age is not a measure of strength or ability.

@Newdadofgirl same and I've brought my children up to be the same. I'm always told how polite my children are and it makes me proud. Seems that some don't have these values which is a shame.

You just don't know what was going on though, especially because it was a doctors!

The parent may have been ill, ill in a way that made it difficult for them to think straight. Maybe it was a massive achievement that they'd even made it to the doctors that day and weren't mentally able to process the rooms seating requirements. Maybe they were in pain and physically couldn't have the child on their lap, and couldn't run after the child if the ran around after giving up the seat.

Tbh I think it sounds like the surgery needs more chairs!

I agree that normally you would expect a parent to move the 4 year old to give up a seat. But I think especially because it was a doctors you really can't judge.

Aren’t you lucky that your children are fit and healthy enough to be able to stand!

It is part of being gracious, compassionate and socially aware and all parents should encourage and teach children to give up their seat for others. Of course, they should lead by example. It is disgraceful for a young healthy parent with a healthy child to sit there ignoring elderly or infirm people who are struggling to stand.

The only people who offer a seat on the London Underground these days are tourists

How on earth do you work that one out?

Children need to learn strength of character, grace, humility and kindness, not me! Me! Me!.

@thatsmyspace I totally agree. Mam always said manners cost nothing, and she was right!

I think it’s the op who needs to learn those things joy

We may all need the kindness of a seat being offered to us one day. To allow children to grow up without the sense that we are here to serve each other is to neglect their education as growing human beings

Or, the parent who doesn't need a seat because they're taking their ill child could stand up?
I figure if someone is at the doctor's surgery then they're unwell. So they may need to sit. A child with severe foot pain isn't going to look ill if they're sitting down.

Given that you think it is so important, why is it ok for them to give up their seat ahead of you? What on earth makes you think you are superior, just because you're older?

Its not all about courtesy or anything! I know people on MN pull out this card a lot and no not every child, but what about hidden disabilities! My DS4 has moderate EDS he does need a chair sometimes other than that he looks normal these kids might have been at a routine check up for a chronic ilnness, DS4 probs goes to gp every two weeks. I had a thread a few months back about people on a bus saying he must get up, he can't. It's people who judge situations before they know, that male people like my DS uncomfortable about going places. These kids might have been completely fine in which case yes the parents should have intervened but you DONT KNOW so you can't judge.

More seats in the Dr's waiting room required then;!.

I agree with you op, but not many on here will.

I would get my child to sit on my knee and free their seat up. I have 3 DC and they all know to offer their seats to others if they are in greater need. I do the same, it's only polite. My husband also does the same.

When at the Doctor's surgery people of all ages may be quite ill, injured, or just there for something routine. Age should be disregarded in these circumstances. An older adult may be more able to stand than a younger one or a child.

It is courteous for a person to stand if they don't need the seat, but they know if they need a seat or not, not judging onlookers!

You should have sympathy for a mum who has to take preschoolers to a GP appointment with her. (I'm assuming preschoolers as it's hard to imagine she would have taken school aged children with her when it isn't the school holidays.)

Maybe if she made them stand they would have run riot and she was too tired to deal with that?

Obviously I'm speculating but then so are you! We don't know.

I would give up my own seat rather than make my child stand up.

I can stand on a moving bus without falling over, my 5 year old can’t!

The only people who offer a seat on the London Underground these days are tourists. Not in my experience. I travel three hours a day on the Underground and people frequently offer up seats. I see it virtually every day. I actually think tourists are less likely to offer up seats.

why do we assume that children are somehow the most capable of standing up

Also in this situation the mother was ill - probably too ill to have a 4/5 year old sit on her lap its hardly a comfortable situation. The poor woman had to bring her child to the doctors.

Say she did tell the child to stand up and then he started running around the surgery would you complain then