Parents who don't get their children to give up seats!

[thatsmyspace]

Went to the doctors this morning and had a long wait.it was extremely busy as it usually is on a Saturday morning. And I was extremely shocked at the amount of parents that don't make their children give up there seats so others can sit down. An elderly gentleman positioned hisself at the end of a row of seats when right next to him was a child of maybe 4/5 and her mother the other side of her. She didn't even move the child onto her lap and offer the elderly gentleman the seat. A lady that was sitting close by stood up and gave him her chair. Another parent did the exact same thing when a pregnant lady with her toddler came in. She didn't move her child to let the pregnant lady sit down. So I stood up and offered my chair.

This isn't the first time I've encountered this. You see it all the time. Where's is people common courtesy! Maybe it's because I was raised to give up my seat to my elders I just don't understand this rudeness.

@OneStepSideways

And how do you know they were well? A parent wouldn't normally take their child with them for their own appointment unless they were preschoolers.

Children sometimes seem okay when dosed up with Calpol. But they run out of energy very quickly.

@Somethingsmellsnice well not in pain is what I meant. So fine to sit on their mothers knee.

Ds has many occasions been sat seemingly happy in a waiting room - prior to ending up hospitalised for a week or so. He also looks able bodied but is far from it.

Lot of truth in the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”

Maybe the parent was unwell and didn't want a wriggly child sat on them?

Depends. My oldest DS, yeah no problem, he’d either stand or sit in my knee. My youngest, not if he’s sat quietly and settled. He’s awaiting asd diagnosis, and like a pp I won’t be risking a meltdown in a packed surgery.

thatsmyspace, and how many looked autistic? As though you can always tell exactly how someone feels by looking at them.

And you know, it sounds like two able-bodied people gave up their seats for others, so what’s the ish? I’m a frequent bus user, both with and without my kids, and as a fairly healthy person in my 20s, I have never felt less of an obligation to give up my seat than any teens/older kids. I do however feel more of an obligation compared to young children, as they aren’t as strong/coordinated as me either.

Not sure tbh. I would probably encourage mine to stand, but there is no real reasonable child should have to in place of an adult.

Op you don't know if they were unwell or not. If you were that worried you could have stood up.

@knowsmorethansnow I did. Read the op 🙄

I wouldn't make my dc stand for an able bodied person, I would put the youngest one on my knee where possible, or offer my seat to a pregnant or elderly/frail person, but why should a normal, able bodied adults right to a seat trump a child's?

You are ridiculous op. You cannot tell how someone is by looking at them. I have Rheumatoid arthritis. some days I can barely move but you would look at me smiling and laughing and assume I was perfectly well.

You would probably also tut at me when I don't give up my seat on a bus - because aside from the fact standing would be too painful my hands and wrists are too weak for me to hold onto anything.

If I had to sit a wriggle child on my knee it would be agony for me.

If you are capable to give up your own seat do it. But cut the judgement. You can't tell someone issues by looking at them.

I'm sure some are just inconsiderate but being so ignorant Is no better

If my child is at the doctors surgery with me it'll be because they have an appointment.I don't take them with me otherwise.How did you know how someone is feeling?,does someone have to look ill to be ill?,I have a long term medical condition which leaves me in pain but outwardly I look fine.

But why should children stand, when they are less physically able than an Adult?

It used to be because children were if little value, but now we should be valuing children more.

The lack of seats is something that Staff should address, there will be spare chairs about somewhere.

Medical issues aside, I think a child small enough to be put on an adult's lap should give up their seat, absolutely.

Ah, the old "they didn't look ill/disabled" chestnut.

"If you are capable to give up your own seat do it. But cut the judgement. You can't tell someone issues by looking at them."

This.

I don't see why children should stand to let an adult sit down, anymore than an adult should stand to let another adult sit down. I don't have children but I don't see why anyone thinks they're less important than adults. I would never expect a child to give up their seat for me. Yes able-bodied people should give up their seat for the elderly if they can but why should children do this more than adults?

Well either the parent or child was unwell or they wouldn't be at the doctor's.

I'm not entirely sure where the magical cut off point that entitles you to a seat is either. 17 year olds stand, 18 year olds sit?

Sure, give up your own seat for those you perceive as less able to stand than you. But don't make assumptions about other people's ability to do likewise.

I also generally find standing kids whinge and want to roam about. Keeping them corralled in a seat might have made the waiting room experience more pleasant for everyone.

We were brought up to give up our seats for adults. I don't know when that changed. It was considered good manners- was that wrong? I am 61. I find it really shocking to see children ignoring elderly or ill people and their struggle to stand, and their parents doing nothing. It is very rude.

*If you are capable to give up your own seat do it. But cut the judgement. You can't tell someone issues by looking at them.

I'm sure some are just inconsiderate but being so ignorant Is no better*

This 100%

Can I just point out too that these woman were at the doctors for themselves and not the children,Unless the children go by MRS 🤔

I think it’s very different in a Drs/hospital to on public transport (for example)

It may be that the child is unwell and therefore would be uncomfortable sat on a knee or standing! It may be that the parent is unwell and doesn’t want to pass their illness to the child they had no other choice but to bring!

‘Seats are for patients only’ would be a good way to go, but then the pregnant lady and the elderly gentleman may not have been patients!

Giving up seats (common curtosey) has gone out of the window to male way for the ‘equality’, ‘acceptance’ snowflake generation to whom I’m sad to say I myself belong!

Unfortunately we couldn’t have it both ways and this society dictates we ALWAYS assume there is a GOOD reason for somebody not behaving courteously that we simply don’t know/can’t see!

I don’t like it- but that’s how it is now!

@joystir59 well I'm in my 30s and that's the way I was brought up too.

It's not about the children being less valued it's about manners and politeness. I don't know where it all went wrong tbh. Children are young so are fine to stand for a few minutes until another seat becomes free.

Also, why not point the finger at the poor provisions made by the NHS, with far more patients/children than Seats!

DP is a Dr and the NHS operate on the understanding that each patient will have an accompanying person with them (quite normal) so why not have more Seats? Or book in less patients?

My doctors is ALWAYS rammed and ALWAYS running 45 minutes behind!
Frankly I don’t know where all the Tax we pay (and it’s a bloody lot as we earn 6 figures) goes!

I think courtesy in this country is dead. The only people who offer a seat on the London Underground these days are tourists.

I always offer my seat to someone who looks less able to stand than me.