To feel so jealous of SAHMs/part timers?

[resentfulandunreasonable]

I know I'm being totally and completely unreasonable here but I am just so low.

One of my friends has two children the same age as mine (3 and 1.) I earn a lot more than she does, and she works part time. Her parents look after her children when she is at work.

It's just such a nice life. Only in work for three days out of seven, no childcare bills to worry about, on Sunday night it's like having another weekend.

I know I'll get torn to shreds now.

I think whichever situation you're in the other situation seems better but actually it's all hard work.

I agree with this. I SAH but do some freelance work around DD - except that now she's a demanding toddler who naps less, so I do very little work in practice. I really appreciate being home with her, especially when she's poorly and just wants to sit in my lap all day. But there are days many this week where it's rainy and miserable, she's awake, fed, it's another five hours until bedtime, and it's monotonous and stressful.

Anyone can be a sahm if they cut their cloth accordingly

nonsense - some have no option but to work.

We managed to raise 3 dc on one min wage job over the past 30 years

if this is the case, then I can only assume that you mean the tax payer largely financed your choices. Nothing to be proud of!
On UC, you wouldn't get away this this.

rainbow

Yeh, terrible generation taking what was offered to us.
Everybody has the option whether to work or not. Most do choose to work, but my choices are no different to yours or anybody else's.
We just choose differently.
Also, had I worked we would have got more tax credits as we both would have been employed and entitled to more, even though we would be earning more.
So, we saved the taxpayer by only having one employed. Hope this makes you feel better.

I was a SAHM mum by choice. However it was very difficult on one salary, and when my husband lost his job while I was suffering through a high risk pregnancy (total bed rest) we incurred massive amounts of debt. I later suffered a debilitating injury and wasn't able to work for several years, now after extensive surgery I am looking to return to work, but after being out of the workforce for so long, it's not easy. I don't regret our decision for me to be a SAHM, and I feel very lucky to have had that time with my kids, but honestly I don't know if I was to do over again that I'd make the same choice. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that sometimes you have to live with the choices you've made, and try and make them work for you.

Clearly not everyone has the option to work, or to be a sahp. Ridiculous claim.

I'm a SAHM and I've actually had to justify to my DH why we are better off (we are).
However I've now revoked this... I need to work for my own sanity. Financially we will probably be up a couple of pounds but I need to meet other adults and talk about adult things. I love my kids and love doing things with them but I can sit in a singing group clock watching and thinking 'what the f*ck has happened to me?!'
I used to run a company and now I struggle to keep on top of cleaning a house- because it's so bloody boring!
I have a few months to find something but it definitely is a case of the grass is always greener!

Everybody has the option whether to work or not. Most do choose to work

I am keeping it with Mark Twain - Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Oh it’s fantastic working part time... and then having no left over money after all the bills etc have gone out. Because living in your overdraft is such fun .

It is a hard balance to strike, and I really think there’s nothing much too productive about comparison, apart from to get ideas that might work for you.

I’m lucky to work in an area where they are very flexible with my shifts, I have a baby and toddler and it’s been great working to various part time patterns (I’ve done 3 different flexi schedules)

The one that works best for me personally as I love my job and want to remain relevant but also want more time with the kids, is to work slightly longer days over 4 days, and have a 3 day weekend. That one extra day makes a huge difference - is that an option?

I’m part time and I envy those who work ft. I’m bored out of my mind, lack career prospects, money and have a tiny pension coming in.

I work 2 days and find it so difficult, I'm on constant catch up, dread going in on my first day and trying to get up to speed and the second day I'm trying to wrap things up as I'm then off again. I feel like I'm failing at work and failing at home.

Grass is always greener. Maybe she would rather her parents didn't look after the kids because they hold it over her? Maybe she would prefer full time but couldn't afford childcare fees as parents can't babysit 5 days a week. Maybe she hates her job but is 'stuck'. Maybe she barely makes ends meet. Maybe she wants your life.

Depends why your part time. I’ve lost £ks, all school holidays and feel like my “rise to the top” will never happen now since my husband died. Needs must though and the children come first. Pisses me right off though when I say I’m away as I don’t work school holidays and colleagues say “oh how did you manage to get a term time contract I’d love that.” Nah under the circumstances they wouldn’t.

Nice yo see so much sense on this thread- nothing is plain black or white and there are very few situations in life where 'EVERYBODY has x option.' and to all who are finding anything tough at the moment