To ask my 18yo to pay towards house?

[moshpitmolly]

My daughter decided not to.go to.uni and started an apprenticeship. Sjlhe gets paid just over 200 per week and I have asked her to pay 20 per week towards house/bills etc. I also still pay her phone contract of 38 per month but have said that once it finishes she will need to pay for her own. I paid rent to my parents when I started working. So aibu?

I'm sorry but I kind of disagree with most comments.

My parents would never have dreamt of charging me for living with them, and I would never for my kid either. I don't think it brings up spoiled children. I still understand the value of money and am very grateful for my parents support.

HOWEVER - if you've brought her up to be a reasonable/unspoilt person then she should be happy to pay especially if she can see you're genuinely struggling?

But @doglover the OP is massively out of pocket with the reductions in allowances etc now the DD is not in full time education so she is struggling to make ends meet. Coupled with that the DD is behaving like an entitled teenage brat, which I'm absolutely sure is not how the OP brought her up but tends to come with late teenage territory.

She's simply trying to financially keep her head above water, not profit from her and I bet he OP doesn't have as much disposable income as her DD does at the moment.

I bet he OP doesn't have as much disposable income as her DD does at the moment

It's worse than that. The OP can't even cover the basic household bills, whereas the DD has nearly £200 a week spending money and the OP is still paying her DDs quite expensive phone contract.

For all those who wouldn't dream of 'charging' their DCs money to live at home... that's fine. You might get away with that and in fact some of you have and say your DCs (or you) do appreciate the value of money etc.

BUT and it's a big but... you were lucky. If you don't start introducing ways of saving, putting money aside for things you want, budgeting, having to pay out on horrible bills etc... the chances are your teen will have a bit of a shock when they become more independent! They're used to Mum and Dad paying for their trips out, cinema, mobile, drinks, clothes they really really want... and the majority just have not learnt how to budget. They don't teach you at school and to be honest I think you're doing your kids a disservice by not showing them how to manage money on a budget.

If you can afford it, you can save the money they gave you for the future. If you need the money to run the house, that's another valuable lesson for them.

But hang on...I was once flamed on MN and told we shouldn't be teaching our teens lessons and that it was cruel !

On average that is about £86 per month if you were to times 20 by 52 and divide by 12.

It’s not too high especially as she is been fed and probably cleaned up after. £180 a week is more than enough spending money for an 18 year old.

Longer term, you also need to rethink your own finances.
Can you manage on a pt salary if you have to pay all bills yourself?
Would you be better off moving? Or renting out a room?

ivykaty44 Sat 09-Feb-19 11:08:42

Greenkit it’s interesting that brag fest doesn’t want your share reduced so that you can save up for your own place...! 50/50 in a rental is fair do, why should someone pay more

I agree, when we do sell our house, I will make sure she has some cash, but until then, she has to pay her half.

OP, I would list all the costs and lay it out for her, then make her pay a fair amount