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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go grey?

222 replies

sandytoes84 · 07/02/2019 22:00

Mid 30s and I just feel too young to be this grey! Currently as soon as the roots appear and my mother starts looking back at me in the mirror I quickly dye it.

But it would be so liberating to ditch the dye and let it go natural...I see women with lovely long grey hair but am I too young/ not cool or brave enough to pull it off? Will I look much older than I am? (I have otherwise dark hair and dark brows, so the greys really show!)

Has anyone taken the plunge?!

OP posts:
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17
Cocolepew · 08/02/2019 21:08

How is it inappropriate to give someone a compliment?
I do and have been given them, it's nice.

R3bourn319 · 08/02/2019 21:15

Why is a female thought by some people to be a lesser woman for having natural hair ?

Most males dont seem to be under any pressure at all to dye their hair

I dont dye my hair
I dont have the same style/cut
I dont wear make up

I would rather spend the money that I earn on days out with family and friends, hobbies, holidays

I am not a better or lesser person that anyone else !

SnotttyNosedSheila · 08/02/2019 21:15

I started going grey in my early 20s. My DM has the most beautiful silver hair. I haven't been that lucky.

I'm 51 and my hair is white at the front of my head and patchy brown and grey at the back. Left to it's own devices I would like a badger. I love badgers but I don't want to look like one. I have it coloured blonde all over. Once it all goes grey I will embrace the silver if I'm lucky enough to inherit it.

There is a thing though about stopping dying your hair dark after you've gone grey. Your skin tone changes and it never looks quite right. Like Ronald Reagan with his chestnut rinse aged 80.

speakout · 08/02/2019 21:20

How is it inappropriate to give someone a compliment?

Check out #metoo

Cocolepew · 08/02/2019 21:21

You're probably right worra, people are conditioned to presume grey hair is only on older people.
But there's a difference between still having your natural colour and dye.
Dye can be aging as well (looking at you mil)

Cocolepew · 08/02/2019 21:22

I tell people I like their nail polish not ask for a grope Confused

RockyFlintstone · 08/02/2019 21:27

Check out #metoo

The fuck are you on about?

hazeyjane · 08/02/2019 21:28

Check out #metoo

So a woman saying to me, ' your hair looks fab' = sexual harassment?

MargotLovedTom1 · 08/02/2019 21:28

MaggieandHopey "...no-one has argued that women are letting the side down if they dye their hair."
I was referring to ILikeMyHairyHands stating: "And we buy into that shit , we let the world sell us products that mould us into what we're told we should be." ILike - you brush over (pun unintended) your wearing of mascara but I'm interested in why you wear it. To make your eyes look bigger/brighter/more noticeable/more attractive? Aren't you buying into the prevailing idea of what beauty should be?

WorraLiberty · 08/02/2019 21:28

I'm pretty sure that campaign wasn't about one random woman complimenting the hair of another random woman, over the frozen broccoli in Tesco Confused

Bluelady · 08/02/2019 21:45

A woman compliments another woman and it's sexual harassment? I've heard it all now. The world is officially bonkers.

SnotttyNosedSheila · 08/02/2019 22:05

Why the fuck does it matter?

I work with men who dye their hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. While they might be in a minority it seems accepted that they do it just for them.

But we always assume that women do it to please men and we are pathetic because of it. And that's a fucking outrageous view to have.

I don't do anything to please men. I get my hair coloured because I prefer it. It makes me happy. I get my nails done because I like them like that. My DH has never given an opinion and I wouldn't even think of asking him. I don't think he'd actually notice to be honest.

Go grey or don't. The choice is yours. Just do it for you, not anyone else.

Cautionsharpblade · 08/02/2019 22:26

@speakout

Like I said, I didn’t say anything to the woman, I just silently admired her hair. So no harm done.

Obviously in my head I was thinking ‘I’d like to wrap stuff your face in this Sainsbury’s bag for life and smear jam in your pretty hair. I bet you’d like that, you filthy piglet’ but thankfully the #metoo campaign has educated me.

ArmchairTraveller · 08/02/2019 22:27

Doesn’t this sort of frothing belong in Style and Beauty?
That section of MN where women can viciously dissect other women on the grounds of appearance and their foul Deviancy from How Things Should Always Be.

WorraLiberty · 08/02/2019 22:29

Caution Grin Grin

Cautionsharpblade · 08/02/2019 22:32

@worraliberty can’t stop thinking about it now, I’m off for a wank

PickAChew · 08/02/2019 23:18

I embraced the grey well before 45 and, since moving out of a hard water area, have come to an understanding with my curls and grown my hair out from a very short crop. Turns out I've developed Nadia Sawalha hair in my middle age.

PickAChew · 08/02/2019 23:38

Styled hair, makeup, smart clothes- grey hair looks great.

So still the expectation that women must paint themselves to look acceptable.

helpconfused · 08/02/2019 23:45

I'm not naturally grey yet but I dye it grey! Took a long time to get it right though

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/02/2019 23:58

I cannot get over the sheer rudeness of Newname posting a picture of Mary Beard as an example of someone with unattractive grey hair.

The woman is a massively respected and successful academic and seems like a perfectly decent human being. Seriously, who gives a fuck about how she chooses to wear her hair.

I’m really buying into grey hair being a bit subversive, a bit of a “fuck you” to those who think women are here purely for decoration and we should all worship at the fountain of youth.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 09/02/2019 00:31

Here's a woman with grey hair. She is utterly immense and beautiful. She's Patti fucking Smith. I love her so much.

To go grey?
PinkPupZ · 09/02/2019 00:33

I am a bit grey and currently use henna to blend and give shine. Eventually I will probably have highlights and gradually grow the grey in. I love grey and the move towards more people embracing it. Fuck society and the constantly feeling you need to improve yourself, mutilate yourself, inject poisons...and it is often women who make comments...

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/02/2019 01:32

caution very funny, enjoy your wank. I'll put some jam on a cracker instead of a severed head for now though.

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/02/2019 01:38

EllenJane what colour was your hair originally? Were you a blonde?

CountFosco · 09/02/2019 02:36

The "...women are in some way 'not allowed' or seen as somehow lesser or letting the side down if they present as they are..." argument only carries weight if espoused by someone who never wears a trace of make up, who never styles their hair, never plucks their eyebrows, never shaves or waxes their body hair, as well as never dyeing their hair of course.

Oh, so that means I can make that argument. Don't wear heels either, get me. Who knew my CBA attitude means my feminist arguments carried more weight.