To go grey?

[sandytoes84]

Mid 30s and I just feel too young to be this grey! Currently as soon as the roots appear and my mother starts looking back at me in the mirror I quickly dye it.

But it would be so liberating to ditch the dye and let it go natural...I see women with lovely long grey hair but am I too young/ not cool or brave enough to pull it off? Will I look much older than I am? (I have otherwise dark hair and dark brows, so the greys really show!)

Has anyone taken the plunge?!

I took the plunge! I first grew out my grey in my early 30s - but wasn't grey enough, somehow - hair just looked a bit half-assed. But I tried again in my mid thirties and had a salt and pepper buzzcut, then pixie, then mohawk for a while. Now I'm growing it at 40, but then I say this from time to time and haven't yet had the patience. Still very salt and pepper but more salt in there.

Grey hair benefits from a good cut - until recently I had a fade at the sides and I got this sharpened up every 4 weeks.

I am about 6 months in to growing my blonde hair dye out. I have just turned 40.

I've been dyeing my hair from mousy brown to blonde for 20+ years and got frustrated at the process and the colour.

I have switched to using semi-permanent dye every 2 months or so while the tideline I'd natural colour grows out a bit. The semi permanent colour washes out gradually, showing more and more of my natural colour and I really like the strands of grey (less keen on the remaining moist brown!). I can't wait until the day the tide line is far enough down that I can cut the rest off or just let it grow out.

The semi-permanent route is letting me slowly embrace the tide line and the grey; each time it has gone a little bit longer between dyes as I am happier to let the routes show. I can't find blonde semi permanent either, so I have gone browner and closer to my natural colour.

Try it, see if you like it. I think I am done with the dye, but won't know until I see what it finally looks like all grown out!

There are some really supportive groups on Facebook for people who are ready to embrace their greys. On a few of these groups are people in their 20's and 30's who look stunning with their natural hair growth.

The general advice seems to be go a bit bolder with your makeup as it helps to stop you looking washed out.

My hair is naturally dark brown/black and I'm letting my greys come through now, haven't dyed since October 2018, so far so good, I love my glittery bits, and I would rather grow it out now then deal with a much harder transition later.

I can't watch TV anymore without playing spot the hair dye, and some people have very unflattering hair dye, almost to the point it looks wig like, but I hadn't noticed before.

The biggest plus for me and many others is the condition of my hair; it's much softer and has stopped breaking and there is definitely less hair loss when I brush/wash my hair. It's really shiny now and much fuller, my hair is past shoulder length and I love swishing it!

The biggest hurdle is your own mindset, once you are ready to do it you will. It took me 2 false starts before I had the confidence to just not give a shit what anyone else thought about my hair, it's beautiful now and I'm so glad I did it.

My experience of women in their 40s with grey hair who say ‘ its awesome’ is - that it isn’t awesome and it ages them! How can getting a packet of dye and sticking that on your head once every 6 weeks be problematic?

"The general advice seems to be go a bit bolder with your makeup as it helps to stop you looking washed out. "

This is true. I have very pale Celtic skin (my hair was black before it started going grey) and whilst I never used to wear much make-up, I'm enjoying experimenting with different lipsticks now.

Newname - "And I'm sorry but it does suit men better. Going grey looks OK on most men, (even over 30/35,) but is very ageing and unflattering on women under 50"

I started going grey in my 20s
I know a few young people who have not made it to an age where their hair went grey. This put growing old into perspective.
I dont want to spend money or time getting my hair coloured. Id rather spend my money & time doing things that I enjoy, with people that I like to spend time with.

The people that know, love and respect me for the whole person that I am, not for the colour of my hair.
The colour of my hair does not stop me being a kind, hard working person/family/friend/co worker
I dont understand why some people are so judgemental about grey hair, which is a natural occurrance for some people
Newname - Ive been on the receiving end of similar judgements, but I am strong

Why is it ok for males to have grey hair, but not females ?

Yah to the grey !

newname I feel sorry for you. All that internalised misogyny can't be good for a person.

OP, I'm 38 and have white showing up aty temples. I've never dyed my hair and don't intend to start now. I will be the woman with waist length silver hair and I will look fabulous.

I did it at 36!

I had a pixie cut which i was dying every 3 weeks and went ash blonde initially, then let it grow out.

I now have a white bob which complete strangers compliment me on

I say, go for it. If you dont like it you can always dye it back

"How can getting a packet of dye and sticking that on your head once every 6 weeks be problematic?"

It's not problematic in itself, but depending on your hair type, the speed that it grows, and the percentage grey you have, box dyes can look awful: flat, dull, lifeless. Of course, if you're lucky enough to have found a dye that works for your hair, then good for you - likewise, if you can afford the £££ to go to a salon and have professional multi-tonal colour topped up every 6-6 weeks then even better. But not everyone is in this position.

I don't understand why people so often go to the trouble of posting on these threads to criticise women for not dying their hair. Why does it matter to you?

At our school in the last three years there's a huge amount of mothers in their thirties and forties going grey on purpose. It looks gorgeous on them! Saying that my sister and a friend of mine both tried and it looked like they had sucked the life out of themselves. My sister decided to dye again sand she looks more like herself and she said she feels it too! You'll know yourself if it suits you. I know from my hair colour that I'll never get to any of the beautiful grey tones, it'll be ths that awful mixture that'll just make me look haggard. Best of luck !

Not for me.

I'm in my 50s, I would be natyally 50% grey, but it would be maily at the front and back.
I would look like a badger.
Most scalps don't gp grey evenly. My mother is in her 60s and although totally white around her face is still quite dark at the back.
She has gone much lighter overall- her skin tones have become lighter too with age so it suits her, her hairdresser uses blond highlights to blend everything together.

I have dark hair and I do my colour at home, I use a shop bought box dye and do a rooth touch up every 3-4 weeks, so really only dye the 1cm or so nearest to my scalp. In the last 3 or 3 minutes or so I spread the colour through the whole of my hair.
So no colour build up.
My hair is thick and glossy.

There is zero chance that I will allow grey hair in the forseeable future.

Follow Grombre on Instagram.

I am still mousy brown so not personal experience, but when a friend went grey she bought new clothes as she found different colours suited her than when she was dark. Worth thinking about as she looked great after making those changes.

Thanks so much everyone for your comments! Great to know I’m not the only one considering it.

The make up comments are great - I just got back from holiday with a tan and I think that’s what makes me feel like I suit the greys coming through more. I love the idea of being bolder with lipstick!

As others have mentioned, it’s a privilege to get to grow old, I lost friends who will never have that opportunity and there is only one alternative!

I also appreciate the negative comments - it’s useful to know some people have those opinions and it makes me want to put my middle fingers up and go for it!

At least now we know who writes those articles in the daily mail about Kate Middletons 6 grey hairs

I guess the only thing for it is to give it a try and see how it looks!

I think it suits some people. Silky glossy hair with silver grey can look stunning, if you have good skin and dress well.

Frizzy grey or curly grey imo looks unattractive and ageing on most. Same for yellow grey. I have curly hair and think I look unkempt if I let greys show, my hair looks dull and faded as though I've given up on it. Very envious of people who can pull off grey!

I started getting grey hairs at age 19. I have never dyed out the grey. Obviously I never met namechange... or maybe she thought I was 10 yrs older than I am when she spied me. That's fine. I don't mind if she or others think I look 20 yrs older. I bet I can outrun outlive outswim outcycle & outclimb most of them - things that could matter to me. The faff of frequent dying for last 25 yrs? Omg. Insane. I enjoy being the only 51 yr old woman who actually looks like a 51 yr old woman should look.

I really don't fit in because I don't care about appearance. If I look good or not, or if I look better than others. I don't care about looking 'young'. I'm me and that's good enough. Me going grey bothered DS2, he said it made him fear me dying. He's getting used to it.

I do care about feeling young. I can still run & climb things & haul stuff around. I have fewer health issues now than I did 25 yrs ago. My 5'7" son jumped down from a 4' high wall last night & I said that would cause damage if I did it (age 51). That's ok. I can live without that superpower nowadays.

My white hair is in streaks & patches so uneven with mousey brown. I'm told my grey looks nice. Maybe commentators are fibbing but that's ok. Just like I don't comment if they are fat. I got a new job recently so my grey hasn't put employers off.

How can getting a packet of dye and sticking that on your head once every 6 weeks be problematic?

Aaaah if that were all it took, I wouldn't be going grey now at 50. Try every 2 weeks if I don't want a line and want to be the reddy brown colour that I think of as 'me'. (Actually scratch the red entirely, nothing worse for showing up grey.)

I don't want to be blonde at all, it's not me and I think I will prefer to be grey. Had parting highlights in July last year (which were great for growing it out painlessly), and am probably now 2 cuts away from having all the remaining dye out.

Will see what feels best. It's only hair, if I hate it I can always do something else.

It's a trend!

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/fashion/2018/dec/14/glad-to-be-grey-how-women-changed-the-debate-on-hair-colour

(Sorry if that link isn't clicky or if it's been mentioned before)

I’m 54 natural redhead and been faking it for years. I had blonde highlights lat year and realised my regrow this was toning in pretty well, so I’ve just left it. So my hair is very faded red plus silvery grey, but it looks ash blonde basically and it’s in the best condition it’s been in for years.

Embracing your grey doesn’t seem to have reached our little northern town yet. But when I was in London and Oxford last summer I saw loads of stylish, attractive, grey haired women. I think it makes the heavy dye jobs look very dated.

I'm 48 and have grey hair.
I was naturally dark brown and used to colour it from my mid teens as I was training to be a hairdresser.

I'd never have contemplated going grey in my 30's or early 40's.
However the same as other people, the roots showing through after 2 weeks, then my hair not taking the colour so well, fading very quickly.

So I stripped the colour, cut it short, chucked an Ash Blonde on it and grew it out. A year later I'm grey all over.
No way would I have let the grey grow through, it looks awful.

If you feel comfy doing it OP then go for it, and as you say bollocks to those who think otherwise.

I love that line in the Guardian: " The grey hair trend plays into the embrace of non conformity". Hurrah for that, who wants to be like everyone else?

Grey hair doesn't make you look old, old fashioned thinking makes you look old. There are many things to be anti in this world and ageing hair colour isn't one of them. Go grey, some women (and men) pay hundreds to achieve grey hair.

Old and old fashioned?

Picture didn't post!

I get a friend to put a box dye on for me (i do hers too). It makes such a difference getting it all even and only the roots rather than trying to dye the back of your head unevenly.

I have a lighthearted pact with my sister that if one of us is in a coma and wakes up with a massive grey stripe the other is in big trouble.