Over 8s in the changing rooms

[HenweeArcher]

I’ve started swimming just before swimming lessons at my gym recently as it fits in well with the crèche being quiet. I’ve noticed that no matter what day I swim, I can always count at least 2 or 3 boys who are almost undoubtedly over 8 (which is the rule) in the female changing rooms just before lessons. Sometimes they use the separate cubicles (there are a couple in the corners) to change themselves so are more than capable of changing alone! I’m aware that some boys might need extra support for whatever reason but I fail to believe that a handful every day at a small health club do.

AIBU to mention it to management? It doesn’t necessarily affect me a great deal as I’m fairly relaxed about nudity and don’t see it as my responsibility to all of a sudden start changing under a towel or anything but I do feel it’s unfair for younger girls to be put in this position.

I don't want to be gawped at by an 8 year old (or above) boy.

arethereanyleftatall

Omg, because if you have never been swimming before you might not realise what the procedure is. How to get from changing room to pool. How to work the lockers.

You know, when you are 8. In a place that you've not been before. You might not know what to do.

I've been to pools as an adult and got a bit disorientated. Forgotten where the locker was or what way the showers are.

We are talking about 8 year olds so about yr 3 in primary school? So 1st year of junior school. I think that is still quite young and not unreasonable to need a little help at times.

arethereanyleftatall

No she hasn't.

She came back to clarify that the girls go in the ladies changing room and the boys go in the mens and that mums and dads go in the boys changing room.

Well, yes, the first time maybe. The second, third, fourth, year later, not so much.

Here we are. Do please tell me what I have misunderstood.

Generally, the girls go to the Ladies changing and the boys go to the men's changing rooms.
However, there are both mums and dads in the Men's changing rooms and girls and boys from about 5yrs to 11yrs old showering and changing.

In fact reading it it appears that the girls changing room is for only girls whilst the boys changing room has boys, girls, men and women in it!!!!!

arethereanyleftatall

The changing rooms are closed to outside adults.

But mums (females) are in the boys changing room.

I really am not misunderstanding, you are.

Weetabix, You've misunderstood what sewingbeezer said im afraid, and a lot of your subsequent posts have been in the same incorrect theme.
The changing rooms are only open to children doing the lessons. Each child goes in to their respective change room, boys in boys, girls in girls. The parent of each child, whether they are the mum or dad, go where their child goes. No other adults allowed in changing rooms.

Cross post but I really think I'm right. I think sewingbeaver just missed off that the parent also goes in to the girls too, if their child is a girl.

arethereanyleftatall

Yes. That is what I am saying. I am not suggesting other adults are in there.

Mums are going in the boys changing room. How is that ok?

If girls need single sex changing (which is what this thread is about) then why don't boys have the same right? Single sex changing ie boys only. Not boys and women.

Are you ok then with dads in the girls changing room?

It doesn't matter whether they are a parent.

Dads (men) shouldn't be in the girls changing rooms.

Mums (women) shouldn't be in the boys changing room.

It's one poster, and it's ambiguous, and no one else has said anything similar, and you've based all your posts for the last few hours on it!

Yes, re the dads, that's fine, if the situation is how I've interpreted it, which is young kids only, so it's no different to dd going in to the male changing room with her dad, when she was under 8.

*Dads (men) shouldn't be in the girls changing rooms.

Mums (women) shouldn't be in the boys changing room*

And

Girls over 8 shouldn’t be in the male changing rooms

Boys over 8 shouldn’t be in the female changing rooms.

A swimming gala is totally different, the pool wouldn't be open to the public for starters. And they will be going swimming 2/3/4+ times a week.

Thankfully I am never in this situation as our pool is just a changing village, so I can help my 11yr old ds to my heart's content.

Though no one has actually provided any suggestions for those bringing a boy with additional needs, other than the usual bracket containing acknowledgement, there has been nothing.

HalfBloodPrincess

Can you explain it to arethereanyleftatall please?

arethereanyleftatall it isn't the same because the poster says the children are 5 - 11 years. So not the same as under 8s.

Actually, i did miss the 5-11 but, but still think I'm right about the rest. I taught in a pool once that did this system (girls with girls plus parent, boys with boys plus parent) so can visualise it. I agree with you, 11 is far too old, for both sexes, to be running this system.

Why are men more of a risk than women?

Last post and then I am going to bed.

What you are saying makes no sense.

An 8 year old boy can't go into the girls changing room, with his mum because girls are entitled to privacy.

But you think it is ok for a dad to accompany his daughter into the girls changing room (where other girls are changing)

Or

A mum can accompany her son into the boys changing (where other boys are changing)

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

To those people that are incredulous that parents help their child get changedat a swimming pool, yes 8 year olds are capable of changing themselves. My four year old is capable of getting changed but they are just too slow when it comes to trying to get ready and out of those places so I help . I also spend half the morning nagging my children to hurry up and get changed/eat/wash and have even resorted to getting them dressed rather than end up late.

Weetabix. You're trying to compare two completely different setups. Night!

I'm just about to go to bed too, but I'll try to explain what I think the two different set ups are one more time.

Set up type A. (The type everybody has discussing the whole thread)
In a large complex with pool and gym open to the public.
One male change - no females over 8 allowed.
One female change - no males over 8 allowed.

Set up type B. (The type one poster only spoke of a few hours ago)
Rarer than A.
In a much smaller place.
Not open to public during swim lesson time.
One girl change. Only little girls getting changed. With their parent.
One boy change. Only little boys getting changed. With their parent.
Set up type B should only happen if all the children are under 8 imo. (11, if correct is appalling).

“Why is an 8 yo potential Olympic champion capable of getting themselves dressed in the correct changing room, when an 8yo in stage 2 doggy paddle is not?”

arethereany

I think this is an interesting question. While children who are good swimmers will have more exposure to a particular pool they are also more likely to swim competitively in pools they don’t know, and their parents don’t come in to dry them there as well.

And most 8 year olds will have experience of dressing themselves and drying themselves external to the pool environment. Unless those same 8 year olds who are being helped in the changing rooms are also dried off at home and helped into PJs every night?

I wonder if 8 year olds who are awesome at other sports but not swimming are also helped to get dressed after swimming? If an 8 year was at state level for athletics would his parents still feel they needed to help dry him and put his clothes on at the swimming pool?

Nolongersurprised.
My guess to your last question is absolutely not.
The kids who are excelling at sport at dds school are the same kids who are capable, confident and mature.
I'm not sure what came first though!

Mums are going in the boys changing room. How is that ok?

Parents are going into the appropriate sex change room with their child. Forget mum and dad. You're assuming that every family is made up of mum, dad and children and has a same sex parent available to go with each child.

I live in a very rural part of Ireland and quite a deprived area as well compared to the likes of Dublin and Cork.

My three nearest pools have mixed changing rooms: Communal ones for either sex, family cubicles, disabled cubicles with hoists and beds to facilitate changing people with SN right up to adulthood, and individual cubicles. There's also lockable private showers where you can take off your costume and shower properly if you wish.

It's not that hard to design a space that suits all users and respects the needs of all users.

For what it's worth, DS is 6 and still needs help getting dried and dressed after swimming but I would not bring him into a female communal room for two reasons: 1, hes' got a big sense of privacy and would not want to get changed in front of any woman and b) I have to respect that other girls and women may not be comfortable with it.

Now, I'd not send him into the mens either but luckily the pools nearby don't force me into that scenario. I don't see that bringing him into the womens is a solution that benefits anybody so I think that campaigning for a range of change options for everyone is probably the way to go about it.