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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Could you and your partner leave your 7 week old baby for a week?

185 replies

froggy3 · 07/02/2019 17:34

To go to an exotic resort on the other side of the world...partly business, partly holiday and leave your baby with another family member?

That's all there is too it. I'm not going into anymore details. Just wondering peoples opinions.

And no this is not me. I have my opinion on it....which is absolutely not.

OP posts:

GaryWilmottsTeeth · 07/02/2019 22:39

i left DD for 3 nights when she was about 10 weeks. I had a prior commitment that was unavoidable and couldn’t be changed. I found it unpleasant but not heartbreaking, she was with DH and my DM and was very well cared for. I wouldn’t have chosen to do it for a holiday though.

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2019 22:40

No, just not possible. I was still recovering physically after birth 1, and right in the depths of breastfeeding for both children. Plus I'd have hated it to be separated for more than a few hours at a time. It just would have horribly upset me.

HateIsNotGood · 07/02/2019 22:42

Nope - but it would be some daft idea that I would think would be ok, prior to having the baby. Anyway, tis just hypothetical as just a 'gossipy' thing.

So, if the reality involved taking baby too, then maybe more on the yes; if it involved some other people going (to look after baby too) even more of a yes. Maybe not yes so much if the 'more people to help' included gossipy big-mouth.

All just hypothetical.

PodgeBod · 07/02/2019 22:45

No, I couldn't and to be completely honest I would judge. I don't think it's fair on the baby who will be wondering where mum went (I really don't think newborns are too fussed about their dads unless he is primary caregiver)

squeekums · 07/02/2019 22:47

I could have at 7 weeks.
I wasnt bf so that wasnt a issue. At 7 weeks i was going away for weekends to work while dp stayed home.
I was also a happy to hand off for cuddles or me time from day 1 so didnt have that freak out thing if dd wasnt near.

SinkGirl · 07/02/2019 22:50

Not a chance. One of my twins was still in hospital then!

Once they came home, I didn’t leave them with anyone but DH until they were almost 2, and that was babysitting once while they slept. They’re now 28 months and have recently started nursery for 10 hours a week and I struggle with that!

sweetkitty · 07/02/2019 22:55

No I couldn’t have

Parthenope · 07/02/2019 22:56

There was literally no one I could have left DS with at that age, as all our families are overseas, and I had a lengthy CS recovery, so it’s impossible to imagine how I might have felt with willing, able, experienced family around, and I didn’t feel so knocked back.

But I certainly couldn’t get overly exercised by someone else doing it, and I think the levels of virtue-signalling in some posts verge on the ridiculous.

Esker · 07/02/2019 23:02

I wouldn't have left my babies at 7 weeks. It's a pretty unusual thing to do but I wouldn't judge people for it.

I am going away soon for a long weekend leaving my 2 year old and 10 month old with their dad. I'm sure they'll have a fab time and I know I will

Lightgreenblue · 07/02/2019 23:07

I've never been away from my DD (aged 2.5) for more than one night. Can't really imagine wanting to be away from her for more than a long weekend, even now.

But I genuinely wouldn't judge someone else doing this as long as they were leaving the baby with someone trusted and capable. I'm actually really surprised others feel so strongly about it.

pallisers · 07/02/2019 23:18

I couldn't have done it. I might have been able to go away for a night though if I wasn't feeding him. Dh would have been fine doing it. Not sure how strongly I'd judge though - it wouldn't hit the list of things I think are obviously bad for babies/children.

But one thing that strikes me is what would people who think it is fine think if a mother posted on MN saying her her partner and she had split while she was pregnant, her baby was now 7 weeks old, not breastfed and the baby's father wanted to start 50/50 care. Would you think that is ok? I would think that it was far too soon - the baby needed to be primarily with its mother. But if it is ok to leave a baby with a trusted caregiver at 7 weeks for a week, then it is ok to start shared care - but I feel fairly strongly that that is unfair to both baby and mother. confusing.

llangennith · 07/02/2019 23:22

I looked after DGD for a week when she was a few weeks old while DD and her DH went away. Of course they missed their baby but they had a lovely week in the sun, a week of unbroken sleep, and really appreciated the break.

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/02/2019 23:22

Does it matter? Not your child so not you business IMO.

There’s always one isn’t there? Why bother to post this? Tbh if nobody posted about anything that didn’t directly concern them, MN would be a very quiet place.

SandyY2K · 07/02/2019 23:27

It depends on who I was leaving my baby with. I would only have trusted my mum.

However I was breast feeding, so it wouldn't have been possible. I went out one day wedding dress shopping with my Dsis and was in pain from being engorged.

Ifangyow · 07/02/2019 23:31

Yes. I literally threw mine at my mother when they were 6 days old for the weekend.
And every weekend after that.

zzzzz · 07/02/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2isabella2 · 07/02/2019 23:43

No way and I'd totally judge or think there was an underlying health issue. I wouldn't expect either parent to leave their baby so young unless absolutely essential.

We have a wedding abroad in September when my children will be 6 and 4 and I don't want both of us to go. I don't mind leaving them for a couple of nights in the same country. Any more than that I wouldn't leave them and certainly not with both parents a flight away.

whereisthepostman · 07/02/2019 23:45

No. DH and I are currently debating if we would be able to leave our 21 month old for the night first time

SpareASquare · 07/02/2019 23:49

Nope, I couldn’t take my eyes off my IVF Baby for months I was so happy to be a mum
But I do know someone who left their 8 week old IVF baby with parents to go off on their hols. confused seemed odd to be TTC for so long then go through all that treatment just leave the baby the first chance they got
I judge people who post things like this way more than someone who leaves a 7 week old for a week.

TBH, at that age baby just cares about having needs met. They're really not fussed about who's doing it. So yeah, I'd rather be someone who leaves their 7 week old with trusted carer (haven't actually done it but pretty sure I could) than someone who still can't leave their 5,6, 7 year old for a single night.

nos123 · 07/02/2019 23:51

I wouldn’t judge. I think it’s none of anyone’s business.

There is no way I could do it myself. I think I’d go nuts by the second day. My baby spent the night at my mum’s when he was 4 weeks old. She lives a 5 minute drive away though. I had no trouble leaving him for the night as I felt rejuvenated and better able to care for him after.

artisanscotcheggs · 07/02/2019 23:51

Fuck no.

JasperKarat · 07/02/2019 23:54

Not a cat in hell's chance. DS is nine weeks and the longest he's been away from me is just under two hours while I did my Christmas shopping, he was also in town just in a nice warm cafe with DH. However DB and SIL left DN overnight with my parents recently at about nine/ten weeks to go out for SILs birthday. I didn't think I'd be like this, DM is very responsible and was a nursery manager for years I just don't want to leave him yet, I wouldn't enjoy myself anyway.

ShesABelter · 07/02/2019 23:55

Absolutely not!

happydays1983 · 07/02/2019 23:57

Go for it!!!! Now our baby is almost 6 months I couldn't leave her now as she's too aware and very clingy with me at the minute so as long as she's getting looked after well there is no problem. Take full advantage 😀

Ribbonsonabox · 08/02/2019 00:00

I dont know... I think maybe we should given the opportunity as we fell pregnant 3 months into our relationship. We have no family in this country and now have another child. We did not even have a honeymoon after our wedding.
So I think if someone came along and offered this we would perhaps be mad to say no!
I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for doing it...
I would find it very difficult to leave a 7 week old baby though... especially as I'd want to try and breastfeed and I hate pumping.

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