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Original poster

Could you and your partner leave your 7 week old baby for a week?

185 replies

froggy3 · 07/02/2019 17:34

To go to an exotic resort on the other side of the world...partly business, partly holiday and leave your baby with another family member?

That's all there is too it. I'm not going into anymore details. Just wondering peoples opinions.

And no this is not me. I have my opinion on it....which is absolutely not.

OP posts:
NothingOnTellyAgain · 07/02/2019 18:18

No I was BF

DH is extra double family man so he wouldn't even think about it and in fact would be horrified at suggestion

I'm not so much that way but even I (BF aside) would give that a no.

Plus there's recovery 7 weeks is not long after in the scheme of things I wouldn't have been up to much personally.

So a big nope.

VoyageInTheDark · 07/02/2019 18:21

Tbf at 7 weeks I was so sleep deprived and miserable I would have fantasized about it but couldn't have actually done it cos a) I was breastfeeding and b) the guilt would've killed me

Original poster
froggy3 · 07/02/2019 18:23

Ok thanks everyone. I know my reaction (inside my head) wasn't over the top!

OP posts:
WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 07/02/2019 18:24

DH went away for work when DC4 was 3.5 weeks old. I judged him for that, so did all the friends I told who helped with school runs/bedtime.

I couldn't do it.

Karenoid · 07/02/2019 18:25

Don't get me wrong I absolutely couldn't have left mine at that age for a week. But if someone did I wouldn't judge them.

anniehm · 07/02/2019 18:27

No, dh did for work reasons (no where exotic!) I did fly at 7 weeks but with my baby.

Original poster
froggy3 · 07/02/2019 18:32

I think for me....and I have 3 dcs and the youngest is a baby. Me and dh haven't left him for longer than 1hour 40 mins yet. But that's just us and that's fine. I'm ebf, can't be arsed with expressing. But more than that....I don't want to. He's become my little partner in crime and where I go, he comes too.

I just couldn't think of leaving him and knowing even the closet family members were looking after him, comforting him when he was crying. That's my job. Plus those first proper smiles....yes the baby was probably smiling before they left but I wouldn't want to miss anymore of those precious smiles. I couldn't even begin packing my case let alone get on a plane.

But that is just me and I know everyone is different and that's also fine....I do feel this is slightly extreme though.

OP posts:
anniehm · 07/02/2019 18:32

That said I had neighbours who would take their kids to a cheap caravan on the east coast for a holiday then come September/October the grandparents would turn up with large suitcases and the parents went on their proper holiday, 2-3 weeks somewhere really exotic and £££. They said holidays were a waste on children! They did this where their youngest was just a year, possibly younger too but we didn't live there then. People are strange!

Iggly · 07/02/2019 18:34

Nope and I would judge. Why? Because it’s putting the needs of the couple over a small baby. Yes it’ll be fed and looked after but it’s not long been born!! Not sure why people disregard the importance of bonds between babies and their mothers.

Loopytiles · 07/02/2019 18:35

I know a couple of women who have left their small babies for that length of time to go away with their H. They are married to rich, abusive men.

Mmmhmmm · 07/02/2019 18:37

Nope.

Birdsgottafly · 07/02/2019 18:39

My DD left her ten week old, with me, for three days.

My DDs attachment to the Baby was good and the Baby hadn't started to attach, as they don't until 12 weeks. The Baby was used to me.

My DD had no issues pumping enough to leave me enough milk.

I regularly had my GC overnight and at 4 there is no issues.

I'd say my DD was a better Parent for the break.

I personally couldn't have, but I know plenty of Mothers who have and I'm no better Parent than them. Now those children are Adults, their relationship with their Parents hasn't been effected.

Birdsgottafly · 07/02/2019 18:41

"That said I had neighbours who would take their kids to a cheap caravan on the east coast for a holiday then come September/October the grandparents would turn up with large suitcases and the parents went on their proper holiday, 2-3 weeks somewhere really exotic and £££."

I don't see the issue with that tbh. As you didn't carry on living there, you don't know if things changed when the children became teens.

halfwitpicker · 07/02/2019 18:43

No

Drogosnextwife · 07/02/2019 18:44

I definitely wouldn't but I think dp might have.

Gatehouse77 · 07/02/2019 18:44

7 weeks? No but I don't know how much that is influenced by my preference (and fortunately, ability) to breastfeed.

Also, it was pretty plain sailing for us as in there were no extra pressures adding to the already hard task of having babies. I would imagine that if there are other highly stressful factors going on regardless of having a 7 week old then there can be good reason, long term, to do such a thing.

Without knowing all the information it's easy to make a snap judgement. With the limited information given, it'd be a no.

Hazlenutpie · 07/02/2019 18:44

Absolutely no fucking way.

slcol · 07/02/2019 18:46

Nope. Tbh I probably wouldn't leave a 7 yr old either. 🤷

Wallsbangers · 07/02/2019 18:48

No. I wasn't in any fit state to go anywhere at 7 weeks pp. I think we went the cinema at about 10 weeks and I cried hysterically the whole way home because I wanted to see my baby so much. Yes, he is a PFB and yes, I may have been very very very hormonal Grin

Bryjam · 07/02/2019 18:50

And just to point out, I do not know this couple! I wouldn't know them if they were in front of me. I don't even know their names.

It doesn't matter. You have prompted a major discussion about a very new mum and she could be reading this.

Ok thanks everyone. I know my reaction (inside my head) wasn't over the top!

That's great. Why did you need to validate your thought? I think it's awful to post something like this about a new mum. Whether you agree or not makes no difference, however if she or her family read this it could make a huge difference to her Sad

madeyemoodysmum · 07/02/2019 18:53

No but I did leave my 3 week old for one night with my mum as my dh had flu

Eminybob · 07/02/2019 18:57

Nope, I couldn’t take my eyes off my IVF Baby for months I was so happy to be a mum.
But I do know someone who left their 8 week old IVF baby with parents to go off on their hols. confused seemed odd to be TTC for so long then go through all that treatment just leave the baby the first chance they got

Hmm What does IVF have to do with it? Do non-IVF parents love their children less?
HavelockVetinari · 07/02/2019 18:57

I would worry about PND, a coercive relationship, or a lack of sufficient attachment. It's so very much against a mother's natural instincts to leave such a tiny baby for an entire week Sad

Can you discreetly enquire as to whether she's ok? Sounds like she may be struggling in some way, it's not normal.

Surfskatefamily · 07/02/2019 18:58

I personally wouldnt but i think a night or two is reasonable. I think the baby will feel abandoned at that age for a week tho

Namechangetoask2019 · 07/02/2019 18:59

H and I left our DD at 16 weeks old to go on holiday to Barbados. She has a week with grandparents and we had a week to ourselves after a very rough (for me) pregnancy. DD was bottle fed and they all had a lovely week togetherz

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