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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mortifying situation

255 replies

PooleySpooley · 06/02/2019 23:28

I am doing futher education through my work.

I am a professional and now have to do one of the core subjects which I never achieved at GCSE (not English), lied about but couldn’t produce the certificate so have to do an evening class.

I have started, it’s a small group of very mixed abilities and there is a teacher and a TA type person.

Tonight she stood over me twice (while I was trying to remember the basics and was perfectly capable of doing them) and then she sat next to me and was doing the work with me - asking questions to help me like I am about 5.

I said I think I have this thanks but she seemed really upset and offended.

WTF do I do? I am quite intelligent am not an idiot but I just didn’t manage to get this at school Sad

OP posts:
Karwomannghia · 08/02/2019 19:34

You’ll see that a lot these days ginger

ShowMeTheKittens · 08/02/2019 19:47

I sometimes wish people would just tell others how the feel. Life would be simpler. The woman is probably trying to help but is not good at it and you feel paranoid.

Pawsandnoses · 08/02/2019 19:50

It amazes me how nasty people can be! It also amuses me when their supercilious comments highlight how little they know.

Incidentally, the apprentice levy is a levy imposed by the government on all employers with a wagebill in excess of £3m. The employers can 'claim back' the money to be spent on certain courses and qualifications to enhance their workforce. It's money the employer has already paid out and if they don't use it to train people, they lose it. Entry level up to Directors can benefit from the apprentice levy.

rosinavera · 08/02/2019 19:54

I'm gobsmacked at the nasty comments here !! Gingerninja is right!!

mumoid · 08/02/2019 19:57

I work in FE. It is the front line in terms of cuts in education and fighting to survive. Teachers don’t have parity of pay yet are often expected to teach the most difficult students. It’s rare to find a TA as funding just isn’t there. Teens often react in this way if they have issues OP and teachers have to work out strategies to get past it, but you are an adult who really isn’t struggling and you can explain politely to another adult that you’d prefer to try to work it out yourself. I’m sure the TA would understand. It’s worth asking the tutor if you could be moved to the next level? More challenging. No point attending if you got 99% and probably uncomfortable for everyone if you’ve been placed in the wrong class. FE is a 2nd chance college so you could use it to stretch yourself and possibly start to enjoy it. Good luck.

RatherBeRiding · 08/02/2019 19:58

Jesus wept but there are some nasty people on this thread - almost willing the OP to get sacked because she is missing some certificate that has nothing to do with her job, probably wasn't even on the "must have" qualifications for the job, doesn't affect her ability to do the job, or makes her employers think any less of her.

As I read it, this missing qualification is a technicality - a box that has to be ticked. It's not as though she's a brain surgeon who lied about passing her anatomy exam!

The TA sounds very annoying, and it IS annoying to be singled out for unwanted attention and if the TA was any good at her job she'd know that.

OP - if she tries it again just smile and say Thank you but I'm OK with this and will be sure to ask for help if I need it. Repeat as necessary.

unicornsarereal1 · 08/02/2019 20:08

Hi @PooleySpooley

I'm late 20's and re-taking my science gcse after failing it - twice!

I don't like being "called out" in class or being sat with ..... if the TA comes over to you again I would just politely say "I'm ok thanks, if I need help I'll give you a shout" then smile Smile

I'm sure she was trying to help you - maybe she singled you out because you have a friendly face - or because she thought you needed help if you was hesitating - if you let her know you're alright without help I'm sure she won't be offended and will leave you to it

Also, well done for going and doing it!

RaininSummer · 08/02/2019 20:09

The functional skills for maths and English, and sometimes ICT, are mandatory for all apprentices if they don't have or cannot prove grade Cs. Unfortunately for the OP, in a very mixed ability class it is necessary to start with haducs rather than making assumptions. One of the first things I cover for fractions is that learners can recognise odd and even numbers and other patterns to find factors.

RaininSummer · 08/02/2019 20:09

Basics not haducs whatever they are.

tierraJ · 08/02/2019 20:18

Hated fractions at school, OP you have my sympathy!

I was also very poorly at GCSE time with MH illness so had to take 2 GCSEs in sixth form including maths.

Think you've been getting a hard time on this thread but then I've noticed this trend on MN in general lately, it's not good.

JonnoF · 08/02/2019 20:41

Know what you mean OP, I'm in a similar boat.

I blagged my way through a job interview, with me it was english insted of maths. Now theyre getting all stuck up about it, saying I've got to do a functional course as an grown-man!
This is after me working for them for six months, no complaints! turn up to work on time, do my job, and they want me to take a class leaning how to spell animal names with a bunch of children!!

Whats the world coming to, where a bloke whos lived in this country for 30+ years has to 'learn' english, its all a big joke. Angry

Creatureofthenight · 08/02/2019 21:05

I have an A level in maths.
I work in a school (I’m not a maths teacher!).
One of the kids asked me for help working out percentages the other day and I couldn’t remember how to do it for a minute or two. If you’re not using a skill regularly, even a basic one, it’s all too easy to forget it.

Belenus · 08/02/2019 21:35

at every interview I've had that required certain grades I've had to bring the certificates for them to scan at the interview.

Likewise. I've also known employers check with HMRC that your employment record on your CV matches your tax record. I'm surprised people think it's standard to lie on your CV. That said, on a weird thread, that may be one of the least weird aspects.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 08/02/2019 22:03

Thank you for people “sticking up for me”

I don’t really let people being arseholes on here get to me. It’s always that way on net forums isn’t it.

I just ignore and take the advice that is wise and good.

I don’t know why people post or why people are nasty or what they are going through, and I have no control over it either and you open yourself up to it when you post. It doesn’t really upset me. I am bigger than that and I have real life people who love me.

I guess the worrying thing is that some people do not and post here looking for support Sad

OP posts:
Stardustinmyeyes · 08/02/2019 22:07

This thread should be pinned in AIBU to let all those who venture there and ask AIBU, know that they will be judged by a bunch of extraordinarily judgmental harpies. Not vipers, vipers are friendly compared to the posters on here

VanGoghsDog · 08/02/2019 22:19

Goodness - people really don't know how apprenticeships work these days.

Employers pay a .5% levy on their wage bill, which then goes into an account they can use to train apprentices, they cannot use it for anything else and if they do not use it the govt keeps it. These can be new people to the org learning a new skill/role, or new people to the org taking a higher level of a skill they have or existing people in the org learning a new skill or upgrading/formalising a skill they have. As an employer with this tax bill - why would you NOT use the credits to train your staff?

ALL apprenticeships require functional maths and English, which is obviously why the OP needs to do it. It doesn't matter how relevant they are to the job. If the apprentice is under 18 the employer gets the maths/English training free. Adult learners who missed maths or English can do it free through their local college. Some employers will obviously fund it themselves.

Employers can add other requirements for the apprenticeship, like,. say, 5 GCSEs or two A levels, etc.

I've not got a maths GCSE, like another PP I had a very difficult year in my O level year. I am 50 and I need to take this for a career change I hope to make in about 5 years. I have done a couple of online assessments and think I will be able to do it.

Aridane · 08/02/2019 22:50

THis thread is mild for AIBU...

pineapplebryanbrown · 08/02/2019 23:28

Aridane i don't think it is - the level of vitriol is similar to an "AIBU for leaving my 4 year old home alone for the week while I go off with a married milkman".

Poocalypso · 09/02/2019 00:43

What is irritating is that the op can be interpreted as unnecessarily unkind to the t/a. It reads like she has a chip on her shoulder. Add that up to the defensiveness yet her not being able to just say 'no thank you' and shrug it off and reactions become a little em outspoken. Good luck OP.

Valmililon · 09/02/2019 01:33

Im thinking that if you came across to the TA the way you come across on this post at times, no wonder she was upset. You sound abit up yourself. Just my opinion though Grin

BibiAlderton · 09/02/2019 01:51

I don’t wish to be rude, but if you “don’t want to go into it”, why the bloody hell are you posting on here?! Also, if you’ve lied about your quals to get a job you are on borrowed time.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 09/02/2019 04:35

Hey OP, haven’t read all the responses but wanted to tell you that my teenage dd, also doing functional skills maths, absolutely hates the way the TA ‘helps’ her. She actually does struggle with maths but she really wants to have a go before the TA starts telling her what to do! She says she only has to rest her pen for a second and ghe TA is there and that “it makes my blood boil”. I’ve had a word with her teacher, I’m sure you can do the same? Good luck with it.

CloudyTuesday · 09/02/2019 05:53

"It was basic fractions which I just needed to remember."

She misinterpreted your 'trying to remember' as someone who was struggling and needed help.

You told her you didn't need help, and went on to get 99%, so I doubt she'll focus on you again.

I fail to see how any of it was mortifying. You were in a functional maths class, so I doubt the other student were sniggering or judging you for having extra help.

It'll all be over soon enough. Just be thankful the class is an easy formality for you. There will be people attending who aren't finding it 'a piece of piss.'

Gwenhwyfar · 09/02/2019 08:59

"Haven’t posted in about 9 years, had to reset my password just to say ‘what a bunch of bullying nasty bitches’."

Yep. OP hasn't done anything wrong, yet she's just being criticised over and over, for no good reason. Do some people just want to feel superior or what?

PierreBezukov · 09/02/2019 10:13

Those people saying 'I've lost my certificate therefore I need to take a class and sit the exam again' - that's ridiculous. Just apply to the exam board and get a new certificate issued!

It's pretty poor form to try to gloss over lying about a qualification. Just be honest with your work. OP your attitude is condescending towards the class and the TA, but you are the one in the wrong here. That's probably why you're so defensive.

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