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Original poster

Mortifying situation

255 replies

PooleySpooley · 06/02/2019 23:28

I am doing futher education through my work.

I am a professional and now have to do one of the core subjects which I never achieved at GCSE (not English), lied about but couldn’t produce the certificate so have to do an evening class.

I have started, it’s a small group of very mixed abilities and there is a teacher and a TA type person.

Tonight she stood over me twice (while I was trying to remember the basics and was perfectly capable of doing them) and then she sat next to me and was doing the work with me - asking questions to help me like I am about 5.

I said I think I have this thanks but she seemed really upset and offended.

WTF do I do? I am quite intelligent am not an idiot but I just didn’t manage to get this at school Sad

OP posts:
toomuchtooold · 07/02/2019 11:51

This is why I hate training courses with a giant firey rage. As a trainer (I've worked as a trainer in my work, as an undergrad chemistry lab demonstrator and as a volunteer tutor for kids with SEN) it's natural to want to help when you perceive that someone is not happy, but as demonstrated in this thread, your presence might be the very thing that is causing the problem! I think more generally, part of the skill of teaching someone something is learning to sit on your hands, button your lip and let the person work it out themselves, which is how people actually learn - by doing it themselves. It feels frustrating (to me anyway, I much prefer to do than watch), it feels as if you're not learning your money, but dealing with that frustration while remaining present is basically what you're there for. But so many people who give training courses don't seem to get this and get stuck in with both hands whenever they see a participant "not doing anything" (thinking). I think also with people who've returning to the classroom as adults are more likely to have a patchwork of skills, with fairly random gaps, and it's wrong to assume that because someone doesn't know
the stuff on page 1, they also don't know the stuff on page 2 and 3 IYSWIM. Understanding a participant's existing skills is a great way of making them feel "seen" and more human and not making them feel like a complete noodle for being daft enough to go back to school etc etc.

Italiangreyhound · 07/02/2019 13:11

"She appears to have a problem with being guided by a TA." So would most people if they did not need it.

EhlanaOfElenia · 07/02/2019 13:26

Jeez there are some nasty people on this thread. NONE of you KNOW what the TA was doing or trying to do. All you have to go on is your preconceived ideas and what the OP has stated. Personally I prefer to believe the OPs reading of the situation.

OP, it is hard going back to do a basic course again. I feel like a prize numpty trying to work out what my DSs are doing in maths for the first few minutes, and I did maths at university level. I need to sit quietly for a few minutes, refresh my memory, work through it and voila, I know how to do it. If I had someone breathing down my neck while doing that I would feel exactly the same as you do.

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/02/2019 15:07

There must be a lot of TAs on this thread!

OP asked a question re how to deal with a TA who hovered twice, uninvited, then sat beside her, unrequired and again uninvited.

She received advice which she took on board several pages ago. I've never seen this level of nastiness on a thread before.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 16:52

Thank you.

The TA drew a diagram of a cake to show me how to work out fractions.

Both the TA and the teacher are older than me, the TA is probably in her 60s.

OP posts:
Technonan · 07/02/2019 16:58

Teachers are not mind readers. A lot of adults find it hard to ask for help which is why they step in if it looks like someone is struggling. It's your responsibility to say, calmly and politely, 'I'm fine thanks. I'll ask you if I need help, but I get really flustered when someone is watching me.'

bluebeck · 07/02/2019 17:00

To be fair OP, if you were 44 when you should have been taking GCSE maths, the way it is taught and explained now has changed dramatically.

I agree you should go in early and say you would prefer to be left alone and you will ask for help if you need it.

You do come across as very defensive though.

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2019 17:01

Why are they making you go back and do the training op? How long has have you been in the job? Surely once in the role it's about proficiency?

Reading your posts cold I think you're a bit fucked off you need to do this and are offended by it, hence why you're not wishing help. Because it's adding insult to injury.

Just say to her quietly. And politely, look thanks for the help, would it be ok if I asked you for help if I need it. It's really important to me to be able to work it out for myself.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 17:11

I am pissed off I have to do it - but I am doing it. It’s just functional Maths I need to get. As obviously I can’t produce my GCSE certificate.

My job has absolutely nothing to do with Maths.

I am pretty sure I am not the first person in the world to tell a white lie on a job application form - and I won’t be the last.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 07/02/2019 17:20

Honestly I don't really understand why you said you had it if it wasn't necessary for thr job, or why if it's not necessary they are making you do it

I mean I don't have gcse geography. I don't need it for my job. So there is no good reason I would be made to do it,

How long have you done th job?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 17:22

I am doing an apprenticeship scheme through work and you have to have it to do it I am not sure why.

I have been in the job for more than 10 years.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 07/02/2019 17:23

So again....

If it's a 'piece of piss' why can't you just do exam??

Then you wouldn't have to do while course

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 17:24

Because all I have to do it functional Maths rather than GCSE, that’s what they are paying for me to do.

OP posts:
Bloominglovely · 07/02/2019 17:25

I think it’s bsd luck they found out OP that you don’t have it unless perhaps it’s a pre requirement for a further course you are doing. I remember my sister had to have a subject for a course that was completely irrelevant to her job. In her case it was required but also she needed it to qualify for the minimum requirements for the course. She could not do her degree without it. Silly really as it hadnothing to do with her degree at all (medical).

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2019 17:26

Ok, ŷouve totally lost me. Ten years as an apprentice is mind boggling. Or maybe you've been at the company ten years, but not in this job ten years and maths gcse is a requirement of the apprenticeship.

Either way accept it. Do it with grace and be polite to the ta who is only trying to help you.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 17:27

I haven’t been an apprentice for 10 years Hmm

I have been put on a scheme in my current role.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 07/02/2019 17:28

Why are people so fixated on the bit about her not having the exam. The threads not about that. It’s nothing to do with the thread and none of any of our business!

I failed my maths years ago. I nearly retook it a few times in order to teach, but never quite got round to it or finished the course (awkward current job to work courses around). I hate maths, I’m fine at it, but think I’m not (mostly down to a dreadful teacher back in the day). I’d probably not enjoy a teaching assistant standing over me watching, even if not talking.

Have a quiet word next time. Tell them you’d rather work alone and ask for help if you get stuck.

pictish · 07/02/2019 17:30

I wasn’t being nasty. I was calling it as it read to me. I also made a point of saying that I could be wrong!
As I interpret it, OP makes an opening point of being a professional (it’s the first thing she wants us to understand) then goes on to refer to a ‘TA type person’. To my mind, it’s subtle but reveals the attitude.

‘Stood over me’ - checked to see how OP was getting on.
‘Asking questions like I’m 5’ - did her job.

“I said I think I have this thanks” - depends how it was said. Even said cheerfully it’s quite abrupt.
“She seemed really upset and offended.” - maybe the OP’s demeanour wasn’t very nice.

It’s how you read things. Most of us are just taking a stab in the dark when we reply to stuff.

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2019 17:36

An apprenticeship is learning a trade basically. It's starting at the bottom to learn and qualify to do the role from an experienced person.

How can you do a job for ten years then they make you an apprentice to do it. You already are it. You are the experienced person?

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 07/02/2019 17:38

Have skimmed the thread.

OP, I have two higher degrees in technical subjects and a job dealing with numbers. I still can't do basic maths if someone is sitting there watching me, because the pressure gets to me! So I have no doubts about your intelligence.

If she looked offended at your statement then it's probably due to a mix of tone and content. Smile, speak politely, explain that you think you can do it but that you get really stressed out if someone watches you meanwhile. You are really not unusual in wanting to be left alone to work so if she hasn't encountered this phenomenon by now, she should have!

MarthasGinYard · 07/02/2019 17:44

'I am a professional'

Tell them this then and forget the basic maths

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 07/02/2019 17:49

It’s this

www.gov.uk/government/publications/apprenticeship-levy-how-it-will-work/apprenticeship-levy-how-it-will-work

My employer offered a whole range of staff the opportunity to do them.

There are 8 of us in the same role as myself across the organisation doing them.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/02/2019 17:56

This is all a bit of a fuss over nothing, considering you've only had one class so far.

Just speak to her again next time and explain that you learn better when left alone. If you need her help, tell her you'll ask for it.

PrismGuile · 07/02/2019 18:38

@Fairenuff at every interview I've had that required certain grades I've had to bring the certificates for them to scan at the interview.

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2019 18:40

Op. I think we all know what an apprenticeship is, but the point remains, an apprenticeship is training to do a trade. If you've done it for ten years. It makes no sense you'd go back to being an apprentice to qualify and learn to do what you're already qualified and experienced in.

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