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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mortifying situation

255 replies

PooleySpooley · 06/02/2019 23:28

I am doing futher education through my work.

I am a professional and now have to do one of the core subjects which I never achieved at GCSE (not English), lied about but couldn’t produce the certificate so have to do an evening class.

I have started, it’s a small group of very mixed abilities and there is a teacher and a TA type person.

Tonight she stood over me twice (while I was trying to remember the basics and was perfectly capable of doing them) and then she sat next to me and was doing the work with me - asking questions to help me like I am about 5.

I said I think I have this thanks but she seemed really upset and offended.

WTF do I do? I am quite intelligent am not an idiot but I just didn’t manage to get this at school Sad

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/02/2019 10:20

I don't think you can get new certificates. I'm sure DS's GCSE ones came with a warningthat they can't be replaced.

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/02/2019 10:43

I had some sort of replacement. I don't think it was the certificate more a certified statement. It was a faff but do-able. Pretty sure I've lost that too.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 09/02/2019 10:53

You can get them replaced, even if the exam board no longer exists, and I don’t need to “tell work” I am doing the qualification anyway!

OP posts:
bluegreygreen · 09/02/2019 11:03

I think there are two reasons many of the inital responses are harsh

Probably unintentionally, the first couple of posts did come across as the poster feeling that the whole situation (and by extension the TA) was beneath her - mortifying, not an idiot, odd and even numbers etc

Secondly - for most people, lying on an application is an absolute no-no.

OP say I am pretty sure I am not the first person in the world to tell a white lie on a job application form - and I won’t be the last. Perhaps not, but for many of us it would mean disciplinary action at the very least, and almost referral to to our professional body.

bluegreygreen · 09/02/2019 11:05

*says
*almost certainly

Oh for the ability to edit typos....

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 09/02/2019 11:07

I do not think I am above the TA.

I am a manager and I manage a team of people. Therefore am used to being treated like a fairly intelligent member of society.

Going to a class and being taught stuff I learnt in reception class feels demeaning to me.

I do not need this qualification for work (my job involves a high level of English actually) I have to do it for this apprenticeship (that my manager asked me to do because she feels I am very good at my job).

OP posts:
Kennehora · 09/02/2019 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belenus · 09/02/2019 11:23

I am a manager and I manage a team of people. Therefore am used to being treated like a fairly intelligent member of society.

I've come across managers who are thick. Equally I've come across very talented people doing jobs that do not require anything like all the skills they can offer. That, and even the most intelligent people can have odd blind spots of stuff you would think they would know but don't.

Going to a class and being taught stuff I learnt in reception class feels demeaning to me.

Maybe, OP. But honestly we (almost) all at some point end up learning something fairly basic that we nonetheless need to revise or start from scratch in some way. Being an adult learner can be tough but don't let it put you off learning new things. Just swallow your pride and realise that plenty of very intelligent people end up in that situation, and don't think any the less of yourself or of them for being so.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 09/02/2019 11:27

I have been an adult learner for most of my adult life. I have taken about 7 courses to qualify me to do my job at night classes.

I have no issue at all with being an adult learner.

I have an issue with spending my free time one evening a week learning something basic that I don’t and have never needed to learn to do my job.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/02/2019 11:29

Going to a class and being taught stuff I learnt in reception class feels demeaning to me.

That isn't the fault of the teacher or the TA.

HamishsMomma · 09/02/2019 11:32

The Functional Skills exams are changing from Sept '19. For example, L2 Maths will be 2 papers one calculator and one non. They are going to be far more challenging.

Bluntness100 · 09/02/2019 11:34

I can see why if you've done a job for ten years, are at management level, your employer then puts you on an apprenticeship to learn your job and then requests you go back to school to learn functional maths, it could feel demeaning, which is why I think you're reacting to thr ta as you are and why you keep bigging yourself up on this thread. Which in turn is causing the responses.

It would seem your reactions are based on your feelings about what's occurring at work.

TatianaLarina · 09/02/2019 11:39

Going to a class and being taught stuff I learnt in reception class feels demeaning to me.

Only if you’re insecure. Otherwise it’s not hard just to be humble, crack on, get the necessary qualification and get out of there.

A friend of mine got a C in maths O level and had to retake as she needed a B or above for a second degree she wanted to do. She didn’t make any fuss about it.

Deadbudgie · 09/02/2019 11:46

So if I’ve got this right you have to do some training at work under an apprenticeship one of the requirements is a gcse you don’t have but never needed before. Firstly good on you for taking up the challenge! I know what you mean by feeling like a kid again but you’re not just stand firm, the teachers are there to help not hinder so communicate with them what you find helpful.

Good luck op

gggrrrargh · 09/02/2019 11:48

I do a lot of apprenticeship administration in my role and I have to say Functional Skills is the bane of my life, particularly for existing staff! They don’t respond to emails, tell me they can’t travel to the classes, say they have a certificate, ignore my chasing as I’ve got to see the proof, and generally don’t want to engage. Not much I can do - it’s a requirement!

Gwenhwyfar · 09/02/2019 11:48

"Going to a class and being taught stuff I learnt in reception class feels demeaning to me.

Only if you’re insecure. "

Oh no, it would be annoying for anyone. A waste of time for one thing.

Her feelings about the TA are completely valid as well. She wanted to be left to do the exercise herself without someone standing over her shoulder. Perfectly understandable.

Deadbudgie · 09/02/2019 11:48

Also soup dragon glad to see the return of mental arithmetic it always astounds me the amount of people (mainly under 30) who can’t do simple maths in their head and I work for a big 4 accountants.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 09/02/2019 11:48

I think it’s sad that saying you are good at your job or fairly intelligent is deemed as “bigging yourself up”

OP posts:
YogaWannabe · 09/02/2019 11:55

Oh what a faff over nothing.
You’ve clearly overcome a lot in your life OP and you were well able to brazen out the lost cert with work so telling a TA you just get a bit nervous should be no issue at all.

TatianaLarina · 09/02/2019 11:59

Oh no, it would be annoying for anyone.

Annoying is different from ‘demeaning’ which is the word the OP used. It’s perfectly possible to do it with a good grace and not get worked up over well meaning TAs.

bluegreygreen · 09/02/2019 13:27

Annoying, yes. Frustrating, yes.

Demeaning? Not so much.

Jaspermcsween · 09/02/2019 15:15

I had this once in an art class
I can't stand people trying to help with stuff I can do myself.

Just ask TA politely to leave you alone

callmeadoctor · 09/02/2019 18:06

Is this like cancel the cheque!!! Just take the test!

CasanovaFrankenstein · 09/02/2019 19:51

Not rtft because by page 2 some of the responses were getting me down tbh! I can’t stand being hovered over, I find it very distracting and if I had said to someone I was ok without help and that upset them I would feel awkward.

I think I’d just be polite next time you see her but not make any big deal of it - I’m not sure why she was upset.

Good luck with it all!

ThatThingYouDo · 09/02/2019 20:35

Gwenhywfar

Yep. OP hasn't done anything wrong, yet she's just being criticised over and over, for no good reason. Do some people just want to feel superior or what?

I would call lying on a cv 'doing something wrong'.

OP I find it hard to imagine you have reached such a high level in your career, managing many people, and are so well thought of by your company, that you have not aquired the skills to diplomatically and politely tell someone you don't need their help?