To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

What kinds of food are you eating?

I retained fat when bf both of mine, 3 years each. As soon as I stopped with both (a year gap in between stopping feeding DC1 and having DC2) the weight fell off. All bodies are different.

Of course a year after stopping bf DC2 I've piled it back on through booze and bad habits.

Sympathise with the CMPA and soya allergy. My DC2 has this. It's so daunting to begin with but cutting out dairy is a good place to start with cutting out unnecessary fat. I lived on houmous, eggs and fruit (but also hob nobs and Oreos ).

*had

Tolleshunt

"it may be true for some - maybe even the majority - but it is definitely not true for all. "

Eh?

If it's true for the majority. But not all, but some, most.

Then it's not a lie is it? Just because it hasn't worked for Op. it's not a lie.

She's claiming it's a false claim. A lie. It's not. It just hadn't worked for her. That doesn't make it a Lie.

It's the norm. Majority. No one claimed it worked for ALL.

Oblomov, I don't have one of the NHS leaflets to hand, but my recollection is that they don't mention that some women put on weight while breastfeeding. Just that weight loss is a lovely bonus of it.

That can FEEL like a lie, especially if midwives and others are also presenting it as universally true.

TBH it is just one of the issues with the way certain biased information about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding is presented as fact, even if the evidence is not there to support it. But that is probably another thread.

It's not a lie, no, but I do understand the OPs annoyance.

They push it as a benefit of bf so it's irritating when it doesn't work out for you. Especially when the weight is falling off others.

I had a long conversation with my GP about this fairly recently. Some people lose, others don't - it's like the body holds on to weight as it knows you need to make milk. I stay the same until I stop and then it drops. My sister is the same. However, I find following a keto diet helps lose even when bf and doesn't affect supply like a classic diet diet does.

🤷🏻‍♀️ I lost heaps of weight breastfeeding. I couldn't keep weight on.

I know it's not a lie.

Sorry you're struggling with weight OP. But I don't think it's right to blame breastfeeding

The stories of weight coming off once you stop are giving me hope. DS is 13 months and now only feeds first and last thing.

You're not doing anything wrong, it's wierd how it works...For DS1 I was the same as you, walked miles with the pram, ate healthily and piled weight on. For DS2, I'm eating everything I can get my hands on, not doing much exercise and losing weight. It doesn't make any sense.

If it's any consolation, when I stopped feeding DS1, the weight dropped off without much effort. It was like my body needed to hang onto it while I was feeding him.

Haven't read the thread but have skimmed the bits you've written.

If losing weight is a priority for you now, then maybe an appointment with a dietician might help? They'll be able to pinpoint if you are eating too many calories and also help with planning your and your family's meals that are suitable for all allergies and restrictions/extra nutrients for breastfeeding.

@Bibijayne I was never told that breast feeding would make me lose weight, just that it burns an extra 500 calories. I didn't lose weight either but when I stopped feeding I piled the weight on as I couldn't get away with eating the same any more!

It sounds really tough. Feeding that much will change. In a few months baby should be going longer but I feel for you. Have you looked into any classes near you that you could do with baby? My local gym does a yoga class you do while baby plays and lies on the mat underneath you. Also I did a class called 'sling swing' which is a gentle dance class that you can do with baby. They are a nationwide chain so you might have one in your area.

That's another thought have you tried a sling? Baby will get comfort from being near you but you'll still be free to move a bit more/ have your hands free to do things

It's the norm. Majority.

I'm sorry but the studies done on the subject really dont back that up at all. It may have a positive effect on some women, but that's balanced out by the many women who gain or can't lose weight whilst breastfeeding. The OP is not a statistical anomaly.

Good review of the science www.google.com/amp/s/expectingscience.com/2015/11/20/dont-expect-breastfeeding-to-help-you-shed-your-baby-weight/amp/

"the differences in weight loss between breastfeeding and formula-feeding mothers are almost always small, and often vanish altogether when other factors, like age, gestational weight gain, and prepregnancy weight are taken into account."

It's a popular myth, because women want to lose pregnancy weight and for some breastfeeding helps. But I think it's helpful for people like the OP to know that many women may find it much easier to lose weight later when breastfeeding has decreased or stopped, and not worry about it now.

I had no problems losing weight once my dc was only feeding once a day (I didn't even try, just no longer wanted to eat as much), but before that the cravings for food were insane. Knowing that, I'm not going to stress if I retain the baby weight after my second child whilst breastfeeding.

This argument could be turned on its head. Ie not to do with breastfeeding. But just after birth.
Many women lose their pregnancy weight. Or some of it. Come on. That is normal.

The baby is no longer inside you. Your waters have broken, or at least aren't retained!!

Some women don't lose their pregnancy weight. Some do. Most do. Irrespective of what method of feeding you are doing.

Would you be able to work out at home for say, 25-30 mins a day? I lost 10 pounds doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, for example.

Which NHS breastfeeding leaflet is it? That implies you will lose weight. And you now feel lied to?

Please link.

The only time I lost weight breastfeeding was when I had twins. Probably because twins, and 2 others meant I had no time to eat!

Breastfeeding kept me in chocolate and chocolate hobnobs for about 2 years. Now we are down to a feed at bedtime I can't eat that much chocolate. Put him in the Oran and walk is my advice. I walked miles with all my children. They sleep which gives you a rest from feeding, mental headspace, fresh air, exercise. Win win. I went out in all weathers as it kept me sane. Be wary of substitutes for dairy and soya free stuff as often high fat and sugar. Good luck.

I lost some baby weight while breastfeeding my first son for nine months . Two years later had my second son and breast fed again.He was extremely hungry and doubled his birth weight in 6 weeks .I was so hungry trying to keep him fed that I had to eat constantly to keep my blood sugar levels up .When I didn't eat I was all dizzy and shaky.I actually managed to gain weight while breastfeeding! I gave up breastfeeding at 12 weeks as it was just too time consuming and he was such a Hungry Horace .Once I gave up I lost all the weight and more as I was very busy with two small kids but was able to eat less calorific foods as I wasn't so hungry.

The 6 month weaning guidelines are about to be returned to 4 months.

Sorry for thread diversion but I keep seeing people say this on MN - says who? When I started weaning and did some thread searches on specific issues I found that people have been saying this since at least 2012...

I lost quite a lot of weight breastfeeding. I wasn't dieting at the time or exercising much, in fact I was eating more to give me the extra calories ok needed to feed. Even if I had been told I would put weight on I would have still done it though. I was definitely told this by HV so must be true.

I know you probably didn't mean it this way, but this is a classic example of a way I have been 'thin shamed':

I had a long conversation with my GP about this fairly recently. Some people lose, others don't - it's like the body holds on to weight as it knows you need to make milk.

Someone not overweight is my producing substandard or insufficient milk!

Sorry, is not, not is my!

Having read your update you're not eating enough so your body is holding on to your fat stores to ensure you have enough energy to feed your baby. A better diet and regular exercise should see some start to shift.

I’m BF-ing twins, nearly all day and night and I’m still not shifting it as fast as I’d like. It’s bollocks. I’ve exclusively BF with all thre DCs and it’s taken some serious shifting. I’m not eating all day everyday, I can’t even get to the kitchen to make a meal, I have to wait until DH comes home and makes me a stir fry, which I have to hold in the air away from them and try to eat whilst still BF-ing then both at the same time (it’s a skill). Don’t worry though, we’ll get there 😊
If I’ve had 2 minutes spare I strap the slendertone electrocution belt on and at least attempt to tone up my stomach muscles while I’m feeding til these pair let me go to the gym.