To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

Some people have been quite mean @Bibijayne, hope you're bearing up. I'm 10 months in and still weigh the same as before he was born, maybe a couple of lb more; I'd hoped to lose at least his weight! Breastfeeding makes me hungry so I eat healthily but I need a lot to not have a rumbling stomach. Anyway I'm not going to risk my supply just to lose weight, that can come later. I just had a first period and it's made me feel lighter than air, while my many hand and wrist tendon issues have suddenly and dramatically improved, so something has changed. I feel like I might be about to turn a corner in being able to exercise and in my body being ready to drop weight. Or it could be that I won't, but at least I can start exercising more now. Anyway, you're not alone and all phases pass right!

Regarding 45 min feeds, sorry I can't be bothered to read 10 pages, but are you sure he gets enough each feed and isn't stopping for wind? I used to need to wind mine part-way through each boob and then he'd finish (gripe water helped in the earthly days). He actually needed about 45 min to finish a meal, but then he'd go a couple of hours happily. Also it took months of 3 meals per day for mine to finally drop a couple of feeds, but he has now so... eventually it happens!!!

I lost a lot of weight through breastfeeding all 4 of my babies but also walking A LOT! A Fitbit/Apple watch or whatever really helps you to hit your walking target. I often had my baby in a sling/carrier too which helped with toning my upper body. I get the constant feeding but you could do 30 min walks 3 times a day etc...

Good luck!

I was exactly the same as you OP, I’m not fat (size 8, 5ft 2’) and didn’t lose my baby weight until about 6 months a year after feeding.
It’ll drop off slowly as you stop BF, mine did, although I’m still not as toned as before and have some delightfully stretched loose skin on my tummy!
It’s like anything, some people are lucky and lose weight with it and others cling onto it so that you have the fat stores to help produce milk.
You’ll get there x

Couldn't agree more with OP. I was told the same but ended up heavier than ever during BF as I was constantly hungry. Nope didn't burn any weight for me. I think it's a metabolism issue and the statement doesn't work for everyone so should be taken with a inch of salt!

OP I didn’t lose weight breastfeeding either.
My periods also came back at 4 months post partum with DS and at 3 months post partum with DD. This is despite both my children being EBF, and continuing to breastfeed until they were / are toddlers.

I feel I was lied to a lot!

It fell off my daughter...each of the threvtimes.
Sh breastfed till they were about 3

I didn’t lose any with DS. Stopped feeding at 7 months for various unrelated issues and then I lost the weight.

With DD I didn’t lose any weight until I had been doing BF for about a year, then it dropped off with zero effort (fed to 18 months ish).

I didn’t over eat, I walked regularly and it was hugely frustrating for me that my friend’s baby weight melted away and I just felt like a lump next to her after DS.

Some people do lose while BF. Others don't lose until they stop BF. It depends on how your body reacts to hormones. Some women pack on weight the minute they are pregnant due to hormones. I mean within the first 2-3 weeks they start gaining weight. It's one way some women know they are pregnant and it's not down to over eating or baby weight as it starts the week they conceive. It is literally the effect of the hormones. Same with BF. You may be one who holds the weight until the hormones change when you stop BF.

I didn't lose weight either - during or after. Neither did my mum (wish she'd warned me!). All a bit shit when other people go on about the weight just dropping off.

Soz, Waitrose absolutely didn't mean to thin shame at all and that you've had that experience. Tbh I've had both thin and fat shaming at different points in my life and definitely didn't mean to sound like either. I just meant some bodies seem weirdly efficient at producing milk without taking flab away.
Meh, it's a short period in the scheme of things so let's all celebrate difference and eat cake anyway

I didn't breast feed yet lost weight during my son's early months - I absolutely had to cut out fats and sugars which I wasn't too bothered about - my sister did breast feed but ate loads - she was run ragged though with a newborn with no help and gained lots

I could have written this, it's very much an old wives tale I think. Although I was told it by several HCPs.,

Yes some people will b’feed and lose the baby weight but it's not necessarily a correlation. I think it can do very strange things to your body also, I've actually put on weight and my DS sucked me dry for for 13 weeks! Cluster fed with maximum (average 10 minutes) 20 mins between feeds from 5pm to 12pm every night until 13 1/2 weeks. I’m bigger now than I was in third trimester and I’ve put weight on in very odd places, where I’ve never put weight on before (I have been this size or thereabouts once before). From Aug to Nov I was out with the pram nearly everyday too. I tried calorie counting and cutting down to 1,600 a day, had 4 days of feeling dizzy then on 5th day I fainted, smacked my shoulder (which still hurts) thank Christ I wasn’t holding DS. I’ve been going to MummyFIT classes and they’ve said that that’s not nearly enough. I’m doing two of those classes a week and eating very healthily. Still not lost anything. I was a size 8/10 before.

Oh and I what I was exactly told by one of the GPs at my surgery was. ‘You need to be less recumbent, and just please keep up with breastfeeding, that and getting out with the pram will melt the fat away’ i’d gone about my hideous joint psi at about 7 weeks. Well hello carried on with the b’feeding (still doing it now at 7 months) and was out with the pram everyday for months and I’ve not lost a lb!

Yeah nothing here either. Apparently it can make you hold on to your weight. I certainly have. Worth getting thyroid checked though x

I may have looked like I snapped back to shape after having my first baby but the reality was that I worked bloody hard at it. I tracked my calories and I exercised every day. In front of a video at home. There was nothing complicated about it. It was boring and it hard work. I’d put on a lot of weight when I was pregnant and it was very important to me to lose it. It was something I had control of and something I did purely for myself. It made me feel happy and confident once I was back down to the weight I wanted to be.

I weighed myself to check I wasn’t losing weight too quickly or too slowly and adjusted my calories accordingly. I was already doing an intensive workout everyday so just kept at that. I used MyFitnessPal to make sure I was eating healthily too. Having a new baby is hard work and it’s important to make sure you look after your own health and well-being almost as much as the baby’s. Most people don’t get enough sleep so diet is even more important.

If you aren’t losing weight and are doing as much exercise as you reasonably can then surely you just have to reduce your calorie intake. No ones saying it’s easy but it’s doable IF you want to and IF you have the motivation/self control. (I understand there will be some exceptions where people have health issues that mean they are unable to lose weight despite their best efforts)

With DS I gained weight. He was harder going and I couldn't look after myself very well.

With DD I lost weight. She's an easier baby and I was more prepared for the logistics.

What works for us is my DH batch cooking (and me sporadically batch cooking when I can, which in the early days and even recent days when my DD is being a clinger, is very seldom). He would prep plates for me and toddler DS and I would stick them in the microwave. It was a life saver with a tiny baby. He would say 'you feed the baby, and I feed you'.

I realise this would only work with a very supportive DH!

I lost weight while breastfeeding. I read you expend around 500 calories a day breastfeeding.
The key for me was to drink more fluid, but not increase food intake too much.
It is different if you are sendentary or eat considerably more though.
It did give me more of a sweet tooth!

If you war toast, raisins, popcorn, bananas and rice, that sounds like way too many carbs. The carbs and snacking will keep your insulin high all day so you will find it much harder to lose weight and feel hungry all the time.
Replace the toast with an omelette. Stop snacking and have a light lunch instead (green salad with some protein and fat, stew, vegetable soup, meat or fish with green veg). If you must snack, have a boiled egg, an avocado, cold meats, veggie sticks or some more soup. Start counting calories again. Studies show that most people underestimate their calorie intake by about thirty percent IIRC.

@AnotherDIYSunday and back on the real world where she doesn’t have to look after a tiny baby all day!

@AnotherDIYSunday I rarely snack. Those were just examples of my go to snacks of I do.

and back on the real world where she doesn’t have to look after a tiny baby all day!

Schnitzel, what is the problem with my suggestions? None of them require a lot of work for the OP, so perfectly compatible with looking after a baby.

Making scrambled eggs or an omelette takes 5-10 minutes.

OP and her DH do cook together in the evenings (OP mentioned soup and fish with vegetables and rice). Very easy to just make an extra portion that the OP can heat up for lunch the next day.

Boiling eggs in bulk is no effort whatsoever and they keep for a long time. Cold meats can be bought in any supermarket. Cutting up an avocado or some veggie sticks takes seconds. A simple green salad takes me five minutes to prepare, so again, I can't see the problem.

It sounds like OP's mum would be willing to help out with childcare, but it's not really an option as baby doesn't like expressed milk. Maybe the DM would be willing to help in other ways, for example cook a big pot of stew or hearty soup that would keep OP going for a couple of days.

Sorry, Bibijane, cross post there.

At least for me it is very easy to lose track of or underestimate how much I snack when I'm stressed, sleep-deprived and not really thinking about my diet and the foods you have mentioned add up very quickly in terms of calories but offer little lasting satisfaction. So it's something to be aware of and the popcorn and raisins could easily be swapped for something healthier.

I vividly remember the moment where I realised having a baby was getting much easier - it was when I had scrambled eggs on toast for lunch. Before then that would have felt impossible. I can't even quite remember/work out now why it felt impossible, but it did. My baby was younger than OP's when I felt I could do that, but my baby also stopped feeding so frequently much earlier. I can see why cooking an omelette doesn't feel like an option to OP.

Popcorn and raisins are not that unhealthy, are they?