To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

When I started weaning my ds with cmpa we tried one type of food for 4 days before trying another just so problems could be easily identified. We didn’t get a dietitians appointment until he was over a year old!
Vegetables caused problems at first, banana isn’t recommended to try early on. I found fruit worked best at first and he was 9 months before he started eating a decent amount of solids. I day weaned him by 15 months and I’m still feeding at night.

I lost lots of weight breastfeeding. I was hungry but was careful not to go overboard on the carbs. I also did a home workout everyday. It was boring but I put the music on and really went for it. Also I walked everyday. There is a huge difference between a gentle walk and a power walk. If you can only do 45 mins then you need to make that time count. You have to be speed walking like a loon.

I think it's mostly about food though. You should start using MyFitnessPal properly. It's a useful tool in dieting.

It's lovely that you enjoy your baby so much but having to feed every 45 mins and not being able to prepare any food or even do housework or laundry would drive me crazy. It sounds really extreme and really awful. Imagine if you had other kids about too.

Hormones are strange. Until I stopped breastfeeding I was actually quite drastically underweight. BUT I did have at least one school run with babies 2 and 3 and 3 different school runs each day with baby 4. I popped them in a wrap and we just got on with our day. Learning to feed in the wrap is a game changer to allow you to keep moving. But this is such a short period of time, try not to spend it worrying about your weight (I know it's hard!)

There have already been lots of good ideas here but I thought I’d add my experience to the mix.

The game changer for me losing weight whilst bf was to start running. I did the couch to 5k program which took 40mins 3x a week so hopefully you could fit it in between feeds. I get us all ready to go and do a feed just before we leave the door (just pull my sports bra down) and then dd usually sleeps whilst I run.

Other things I’ve done was to do one pot meals, I bought a book called the roasting tin and it has loads of delicious meals you can prep/cook in advance with very little prep. Most only take 10mins to chuck in a tin and then you cook for a hour or so. They could all easily go in a slow cooker.

I drink lots of water, really helps me to keep hunger down. I also eat early in the evening instead of leaving it until after the children’s bed time which reduced the temptation to snack.

I’d definitely speak to someone about your DS though, it’s unusual to be feeding so frequently at nearly 6mo. As someone else mentioned it might be a sign of reflux or some other issue and your lives would be much easier if he could last for longer between feeds.

I know not all of that will work for everyone, but it’s how I managed to lose weight after my 2nd baby. My first I agree bf did nothing, just made me hungry and I put on weight!

Be kind to yourself, I know it’s hard looking in the mirror and seeing a person you are not happy with. Hopefully you can do a few things to help, once I managed to get the combination of food and exercise right the weight did really fall off - usually a kg per week. But if I start eating too much or don’t run then it easily goes back on.

What Lightly said about the fore milk. Is it possible you are swapping him over to the other breast too soon and he’s not getting the really rich satisfying hind milk? He needs to really drain your breast. I know the temptation is to swap them over and ease the pressure on the other breast, but you can express a bit by hand to keep yourself comfortable.

I would have expected your supply to have calmed down by now and your breasts to be filling more on demand.

Too much fore milk can be a factor with reflux too.

Practical solution is to get out walking more although that is hard in this weather because i would be much less willing to whip a boob out in the freezing cold to feed.
However what you really need to do is stop giving yourself such a hard time. Ok you’re still overweight after 6 months but so what? Your baby won’t be BF forever and you will slowly get to start to get more time back to go to the gym. your health isn’t in immediate danger just relax a bit. My DSIL put on about 5 stone while pregnant and BF and it took her about 2 years to slowly lose the all the weight once she stopped BF. She is in the best shape of her life now she looks amazing. You’ve got time, don’t rush yourself.

If OP's ds is now 6 months old, the apparent bf'ing weight loss that some experience has already passed. It normally happens straight away, quickly, is dramatic.
Both ds's mine fell off totally, within the first couple/few weeks.

The fact it hasn't happened to OP, is unfortunately just one of those things. Doesn't make it a lie.

Seems you don't eat enough!
If you had other children you would have to put him down sometimes to help the others. You can leave him a few mins to feed yourself or do some other things if you want to

I lost the weight in the first 2w. However i think i hadnt gained much actual weight it was water.
But then gradually i have put weight on over the next 3 yearsas i think bf left me feeling hungier.

It is so hard to remove soy fromyour diet as it is in most breads etc.

It's not just you OP, I actually gained weight breast feeding - I was ravenous all the time and was such a sleep-deprived zombie I barely functioned and just ate whatever was easiest.

Didn't last forever though. I'm sorry you feel rotten but in the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world, you'll get there. Try not to put lots of pressure on yourself - when you're chasing a whirling dervish of a toddler all over the place you'll use up loads of energy

Oblomov it may be true for some - maybe even the majority - but it is definitely not true for all.

It is annoying to see it trumpeted in NHS leaflets as if it is gospel, in an attempt to coax women into breastfeeding, when actually this not true. I can see why OP feels lied to. I felt the same. It is particularly irritating when it comes from an 'official' source that you should be able to trust.

Seems you don't eat enough!

If she wasn't eating enough, she'd be losing weight

OP, I hear you. Ignore all the cluelesspeople telling you you're eating too much. You almost certainly aren't.

Start taking omega 3 supplements and make sure there's plenty of omega 3 in your diet. That's what worked for me.

With DS1 I held on to 10 pounds, despite drastically reducing calories. In retrospect my nutritional reserves were clearly depleted. The weight then fell off (despite no change in diet) when I stopped bfing.

With DS2 I had far more weight to lose. I wanted to bf, but I also wanted to lose the weight. I did some reading on the interplay between prolactin and Adiponectin. You need to up your Adiponectin levels (google this for more info) which can be difficult while lactating.

Omega 3 supps, a daily vitamin and a broadly healthy diet did it for me. I've lost 25 pounds this time around. And I ate plenty of cake/drank wine while doing it.

Good luck.

I take baby boy and the dog out for at least 45 minutes once a day. But that doesn't get us as physically far as I used to go in that time - and baby boy usually needs to eat while out or as soon as we get home.

I'm another who suspects the feeding isn't quite right - unless it's a short term growth spurt. Not getting enough hind milk could be an issue - other wise perhaps supply issues. Are you pumping - that could help with supply and also build up a frozen supply so someone else can give a bottle so you get a break.

I'm not sure if it was bf or walking, they like to sleep in a moving pushchair, with first two that lead to loss of weight while bf them. I didn't so much with thrid but there was a lot of stress and even more lost sleep - lack of sleep interfers with weight loss as well.

I was still taking vitamins with first two children - less so with thrid as money was so tight at that point in our lives.

I lost loads of weight breastfeeding. It was over 30 years ago and I had very little money, so I kept my strength up with bread and jam.

I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding, but I also struggled with the weight issue. The problem was the horrific glucose dips I used to get when feeding, and DS was a comfort feeder and glued to me several hours per day, so my lifestyle was very sedentary. The practicalities of cooking from scratch were tough in this situation, so while I was feeding I could easily see off a whole packet of hob nobs (I've never binge-eaten like that in my life, before or since).

What happened is that this created a horrendous cycle of blood-sugar dips and consequent sugar cravings, which got worse and worse (I EBF for 6 months and continued feeding for 18 months in total).

Combating the sugar cravings since this time has been an uphill battle. DS is now almost 5, and it's only now that I've finally managed to see my pre-baby weight in sight. Ditching sugar and starchy carbs has been the way forward for me, and however difficult it is, I'd recommend at least cutting out the excess sugar. I wish I'd done it sooner rather than later.

I'd still choose to breastfeed, if I could go back and start again.

Breastfeeding requires an extra 200-800 calories daily depending on the individual, so I imagine lots of women do lose weight. I definitely have done both times.

This is a very strange regime, your baby is nearly 6 months and feeding every 45 mins and cluster feeding all evening?
Quite apart from your weight questions he should be way on by now. The 6 month weaning guidelines are about to be returned to 4 months. It sounds to me that your baby is well overdue for weaning. Also it would be a good thing to work on the day time naps.
That amount od breast feeding certainly needs a lot of calories so there are other things afoot with your difficulty losing weight

I don't think 2000 calories is too much for an exclusively breastfeeding mother either actually.

I didn't lose any to start with, in fact I put on weight. But I know on reflection it's because I was eating more (meeting other mums for cake etc and trust me there is such a thing as nice vegan/dairy free cake). It was really getting me down. A little while back my head just clicked that enough was enough and I started counting calories and now I'm losing weight (baby was around 8 months when I started). I track on mfp and allow the normal amount of weight loss calories for my lifestyle (e.g. 1200) plus 400 for bf.

I know it's harder with dairy and soya intolerances in your baby, but veggies and other proteins will help. soya particularly is a pain as it's in so many vegan foods but it is doable. I'm not sure how much difference the baby eating solids will make to anything as they should still be drinking the same amount of milk up to a year. Honestly they just piss about with solids for ages and they'd be starving if you stopped giving milk. The saying food before one just for fun isn't true as they need the vitamins from food, but milk is their primary source of food up to a year.

I'm also trying to be more active as that had always been the best way for me to lose weight (pre baby). Walking to all activities where possible again as I'd slacked off over winter, pushing buggy and walking fast. YouTube videos are good as you can do at home and you can get apps for short HIIT type training sessions (I'm talking a few minutes at a time). You will get there!

I'm not sure whether or not it's a myth. With my first, I put on more weight while breastfeeding (hunger, sitting in my my bum cluster feeding). With my second I lost a ton of weight. The only difference was that I did a Lot of walking.

There are loads of healthy, quick things you can eat while dairy and soy free. I struggled with this too (my second is allergic to dairy, soy and egg). 6 Join the cmpa breastfeeding group on Facebook, it's great.

I lost a lot of weight while b'feeding, they both fed for ages and for years was thin and really noticed it since stopping how it has piled back on. Mine hardly ate any solids for ages either though. Maybe it depends how much other food they are eating / ages etc.

I lost loads of weight breastfeeding, is there any way you can be more active whilst staying with him?

Maybe going for long walks with him in the pushchair or even better a sling? There are lots of workout classes for mothers and babies now, jogging with a pushchair? Workouts on YouTube that you can do at home when it's convenient?

I didn't lose weight BF-ing either OP, but for me I suspect it was down to a poorer diet (having no time to cook from scratch) and a vast consumption of chocolate as I craved the sugar and caffeine high, as I was so sleep deprived. There are studies that claim that you put on weight when you are sleep deprived, so possibly this had something to do with my weight gain too? Also, I used to walk miles before the baby and after I walked a lot less, (time and energy).
I fed for 7 years continuously ( fed my toddler through my pregnancy and extended feeding beyond) .... My body has never recovered, but I comfort myself that it produced 2 children... And that's amazing!