To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

I have definitely lost weight breast feeding. I’m the smallest I have ever been and still keeps coming off even though I don’t particularly want to lose any more.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Breastfeeding-Can-Make-You-Gain-Weight-37837572/amp

@Aquamarine1029

I don't eat lots. I often only get chance for one meal a day. I don't ear sweets or cakes (and can't eat most due to baby boy's allergies).

I'm mostly stuck with a slice of toast and oat milk or a banana/ apple.

So how about some actual.clnstixtive advice?

I EBF two DC for 9 months each. I was back to my normal weight by 6 months after the birth each time.

I'm currently dairy egg and soya free with my 12 week old. Also have an egg free 3 yo so I get your pain.

There are biscuit and chocolate options, just not many. Sainsbury's dark chocolate, bourbons from co-op and Sainsbury's (but not Aldi) are my usual weaknesses.

Big issue is convenience food... we are tending to do a lot of stir fries (cook v quickly when DH is home), oven baked battered fish + jackets (dairy free butter substitute) roasts and stews plus steak, pork steaks, salmon en croute (premade puff pastry is dairy free).

12 w/o settles well when DH walks him in the sling, and I tend to use the sling rather than a pram or the car if it's just us (3yo can be feisty to tend to use car for important errands!)

If he goes in a sling there's a fair few babywearing workouts on YouTube- Joe Wicks has a few in conjunction with Carifit - or just walking carrying or pushing baby is a good workout. I got very much fitter after my first because we had moved into town from the sticks, the town centre has rubbish parking and getting baby in/out of a car seat was a faff so for everything smaller than a full weekly shop it was quicker and easier to walk - didn't feel like exercise, just chores! Went from hating running to managing 5k without stopping on my first "run" just by walking in preference to the car for daily life...

Enlist DH to distract so you can get some time for you. I am very guilty of prioritising chores over me time in the hour or so I get in the evening when DS is not attached. DH has to work hard to distract him, but bathing him works ok. Sometimes being further away from the milk helps. DD was nowhere near as hungry so it's a bit of a shock.

Sorry for incoherent stream of consciousness- been feeding since 3...

If you're on Facebook search for breastfeeding with CMPA groups - there's loads of ideas for healthy, easy prep meals on there, and people share their finds of snacks or recipes. My children are all dairy and soya free (plus others) and healthy home cooking is easy once you find a few substitutes x

DS is cluster feeding, I lost two stone within two weeks of birth then put half a stone back on again and he only nine weeks now, this is because biscuits are now a food group to me.... I was in my wedding dress this time last year, no way I would get it on at the moment. Give yourself time

Thanks @Jackyjill6

I'm waiting for the dietician appointment to come through. He's been referred by the HV as because he's reacted to dairy and soya they want to have a plan for introducing solids to him incase he has any other allergies.

I love my baby boy. I really do. And I don't mind breastfeeding or spending lots of time with him. But I do want to be able to physically do something for more than 45 minutes before I have to stop to feed him. And I do want to be able to leave him with DH or my mum for an hour or two and know he'll be okay and not getting upset because he's hungry and I'm not there.

Also he's your first- it's ok for him to wait for a minute or two while you look after yourself. I've had to interrupt feeds to deal with wiping a preschooler's bottom or assist getting her to the loo. I also have to feed her on a reasonable schedule so DS has to lump it.

Just to clarify. I'm the same weight I was when I conceived because I lost weight through sickness in the third trimester. But it's a lot more flab and a lot less muscle (I used to loft two or three times a week). And I was trying to lose excess poundage.

The issue is, I am also the same weight I was at 36 weeks pregnant.

Though again, less bump and more muscle mass.

I lost weight quickly. My sister could not lose weight UNTIL she stopped!

At the population level, I think it makes no difference.

@sunnysunshineshines

Thank you. I love cooking, but I'm struggling to find easy meals to make that are allergy free.

And whilst stews are nice, a good stew seems to need more prep time than I can get at the moment :(

Aqua is right you are just eating too much. Breast feeding burns more calories than bottle but it's not a miracle cure for weight gain. I did some PT sessions and was told i would start putting in weight if I eat over 1200 calories and that's with a high metabolism. It's just a simple fact that to lose weight you need to burn more than you consume. I would also walk every day to try and get the weight off but frankly it took two years and even then that was with a very strict diet and exercise programme but then I put on two stone during pregnancy

Hello OP I am here for some solidarity. I am EBF DD and am still about a stone overweight. My stomachs is still a pot belly and can’t get old jeans done up so still in maternity jeans. With DD1 who was only formula fed I had back to Pre pregnancy weight by now. So I agree it’s a myth.
DD also clutters feeds from about 5pm to 10pm so no more than 20 minutes break. She will take a bottle of formula but can’t to that regularly or it will affect my supply.

What I have just started doing though, is drop DD1 to school and then go for a run with DD2 in pushchair as she then falls asleep. Still home for 9.30am and then quick shower before feeding again.

I didn't lose weight breastfeeding either apart from initial post baby loss.

Had a baby that sleep in 45 min stretches I wonder if that had an impact too

Stopped feeding at 14 months and dropped around a stone within the month without doing anything different.

Some friends has the same experience some found weight came off while feeding.

It’s true in general, but not universal. My experience is that I lost weight quickly breastfeeding, but am ravenous so can see how it would present an obstacle to a minority.

Exercise means nothing, however, so don’t bother with it for weight loss. Consider it only for mental and physical health, not weight loss. It’s all in how much you eat. Calorie counting is a lot of measuring and work, but it seems to get results for a lot of people.

I've lost nothing due to breastfeeding. I was 62kg to begin. Was 81kg on day I had my baby due to thyroid complications. I carried a lot of water. Went down to 71kg after birth and a month later I stayed at 73kg. I ate a lot when I started feeding. Then I lost a bit as things settled down and I'm now at 72kg. I got my husband to hold my boobs and I went down to 67kg at about the 6month marker. I've stayed this weight now for another 3 months. Have you had your thyroid checked as a lot of woman have problems around the 6 to 8 months mark when breastfeeding. I had the same with my first baby and my thyroid problems come and go.

Stew can be done a bit at a time and meat browning is optional. Also has the big advantage that it is prepped much earlier so before peak feeding frenzy time. Stew prep is often Cut onions, feed, peel carrots, nappy, cut carrots, peel other veg, feed, dump baby in buzzy chair/under baby gym/Jumperoo as appropriate for age, and assemble the rest and bung in oven. At some point when baby vaguely settled prep dumplings to go on top (veg suet and normal suet both ok)

Having a 3yo to feed really helps me balance my need to eat with baby's need to sit on me

I would work on encouraging your baby to play by himself a bit more to give you time to throw ingredients into a slow cooker, or similar. Treasure baskets work really well for this. Or a selection of things he can shake and rattle.

One meal a day isn't ideal and might be making your body hang onto fat. Can you join a slimming world group who can help you get on track with meals if your baby is sleeping through? Or does he go down late?

Also, feeding every 45 mins seems awfully frequent at this age (unless poorly, growth-spurting etc). Are you offering both breasts at each feed?

@wellhellothereall

But most days I'm barely eating anything. I think I wasn't clear with the 2000 calories comment earlier. As I've said to Aqua, most days I get as a slice of (granary) toast with (dairy free spread) a class of oat milk. Cup of tea with oat milk. A few litres of water and a banana until my DH comes home. Then we usually end up with soup (DF) or fish, veg and rice (no sauces). If I snack it's usually on raisins or skinny popcorn. If I'm feeling really awful i might fold and have a bacon or fish finger sandwich as a meal instead of the aforementioned soup/ fish with rice.

TBF I haven't had a chance to track in myfitness pal lately, but I suspect that is comfortably below 2000 calories.

The issue is, I need to get more physically active. I usually go to the gym once a week for a weights session with my PT. But baby boy was sick one week and my trainer another, so it's been a few weeks. It's also the link as to how long he's happy without me there and not eating. And it breaks my heart to come into the house to him clearly upset, and know he's been upset for about 10 minutes and he then needs to ear and nurse for comfort and that's my Saturday morning all gone.

I take baby boy and the dog out for at least 45 minutes once a day. But that doesn't get us as physically far as I used to go in that time - and baby boy usually needs to eat while out or as soon as we get home.

Honestly? You're going through a really difficult time, if you're not gaining then I wouldn't be considering this is something you need to prioritise right now.

I'm sure if you post somewhere high traffic asking for meals/snacks you can eat with your baby's allergies taken into account you'll likely get loads of ideas some of which may be on low cal side.

Also, while bf is fab and good for baby and mum and to be encouraged it is not the be all and end all.

I had my milk dry on me when dd was 9 months (I'd wanted to bf at least a year possibly longer) took several trials to find a formula that suited (is it the allergy formula he didn't like or was this before you knew about the allergy?) I know there's a preferred formula that's prescribed but it's not the only one so he could possibly try another.

Another issue for bf babies moving to bottle is teats! The modern silicone teats are hard to suck and impatient hungry babies don't persevere!

My mum recommended latex teats I've seen these recommended on here

https://www.amazon.co.uk/NUK-Choice-Bottle-Months-Anti-Colic/dp/B0013NFOS6/ref=mpssa111?ie=UTF8&qid=1549431342&sr=8-1-spons&pi=ACSX2366SY340QL65&keywords=latex+teats&psc=1

Dd was fine with any kind of bottle though so I was lucky there but not all babies are, so again trial and error to find the right ones for him.

I hope some of that might help.

Remember you won't always be in this difficult stage. As for batch cooking - where's babies dad in all this? He can cook!

1. Walk. Aim for an hour's walk a day.
2. Find a simple set of body weight exercises - squats, lunges, plank etc. you can do at home and try to do 15 minutes once or twice a day.
3. Drink lots of water - aim for 3 litres.
4. Eat more protein, less carbs and avoid anything processed.

I feel your pain, it's hard when a baby restricts you so much.

Oh, and aim for three meals a day, sounds like you are almost starving yourself during the day. None of that is good for weight loss.

@Monstamio

Yes. But he can't clear both breasts. I'm a little over abundant in the boob and milk front. And I have quite an aggressive let down. I think the boob size. issue is probably bothering me more than the mum tum. I'm squeezed into a 34 L nursing bra at the moment. I can wear a 34 KK underwrite normal bra now - so they've started to go down a little in size from.where they were, but in that size normal bras are all very full and not nursing friendly. And the nursing bra doesn't really offer much support. There are also no sports bras in my size so I am restricted to lower impact exercises when I can get out.

@Graphista

Thank you! I'll look into those. Yeah, he's not a fan of allergy formula.

When he was smaller he'd take expressed milk in a bottle, but he's impatient! I'll check out the silicon teats. I think I've mentioned somewhere I have quite an aggressive let down so we are still using nipple shields. He's gaining weight really well so we know he's getting food. But unless it's after a cluster feeding session I can usually still spray milk about 10 foot across the room after he's eaten.