To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

Two weeks is not long enough to have lost weight yet. Two months is more realistic and then it will fall off.

I have pcos and my weight is. V hormonally impacted - have insulin resistance through pcos - am not diabetic and did not get gestational diabetes - I did not lose any weight, walked a lot with ds in pram etc and bf till he was 3 - Yanbu op, people do not appreciate how much hormones impact weight, I struggle to ever lose anything i eat soup for lunch and dinner all week, drink tea with Skimmed milk, no booze, no juice etc, exercise 5 times at week and will loose only 1-2 pounds a month if lucky

1 I agree that breastfeeding doesn't make everyone lose weight - it didn't work for me either. The pounds rolled off as soon as I stopped.

2 You are clearly consuming more calories than you are using up, as previous posters have said. However, I know it's not that simple, because I was in the same boat. I think breastfeeding makes you really hungry.

3 Your baby is six months! You can stop if you want to, or at least cut down! If he is feeding every 1and a half hours, then he is showing how hungry he is - he will need solid food at this age!

I didn't lose weight breastfeeding either. Mostly because it made me really hungry.

I didn't lose first time but did second time. First time baby had dairy, soy, fruit, egg allergies so it was tricky! I feel for you.

Feeding every 45 mins I think is the problem. That's like newborn state so your body is probs clinging on to. Try the formula with vanilla essence but leave the house and get someone else to do it. If baby can smell you he won't take the bottle. He will give in eventually rather than starve.

Or if you'd rather not start doing some solids. Sweet potato purées etc. With the allergies veg is fine it's other things like gluten and fruit you need to be wary of. The CPMA Facebook page is great! We did solids at four months (to many MN disgust!) under medical advice as reflux was so bad, if done sensibly it's fine and safe.

Finally can you walk somewhere in 45 mins where you can stop and feed and then walk back? I used to go to Costa have a black coffee and walk back. And also loads of great workouts on YouTube and there's a great app called FIIT too.

Finally finally... you've had a baby the first year is tough, it's so hard but try not to worry too much about your weight for now you're looking after a little person!

I lost 3 stone in 2 months when breastfeeding (I was 15 stone the day I gave birth). I had to eat so much to keep up with her demand for milk! She fed constantly (no issues, put on weight well etc) but it was just all the time.

I stopped at 6 weeks, and I put on 4.5 stone in 6 months! So yes, I lost weight, but not long term. I’m now heavier than the day I gave birth!

I agree with PP, why don’t you give yourself a break and relax about your weight for now. If you have a demanding baby then just focus on getting through this stage as when you start weaning things will change and hopefully get easier.

YANBU OP. Some women's bodies do hang onto weight while breastfeeding, as a way of ensuring the baby will be fed in the event of famine. I had it, and it was confirmed that this happens fairly frequently by my obstetrician.

This information, however, is hushed up by the medical profession, in case it puts us silly women off breastfeeding. Because, of course, we can't be trusted to make an informed decision on the benefits of breastfeeding for our DC if there is some weight loss on offer!!

I also had a refluxy CMPI baby, and had to go dairy-free and soya-free while feeding. It was beyond shit, as that, coupled with the perma-hunger from breastfeeding, meant I felt permanently hungry, and never once felt satiated by a meal, for six months. I feel for you.

You will find the weight starts to drop off once you stop breastfeeding. Hang in there!

I ebf a bottle refused and lost weight in the first year (no idea if I lost in the first six months as didn’t weigh till after a year).
I walked lots though. Generally 40mins to somethingvin the morning (library or cafe) and 40mins back afterwards then often 30-40mins to somewhere in the afternoon (park or shop or friends house) and same back again. So about 2.5hrs a day.

I was 56kg pre preg and went down to 47kg after a year of bfeeding. The only exercise I was doing was walking (fairly hilly area) with a heavy pram. I did 25 mins to the shops and 25 back most days. We moved house to somewhere less hilly, and since my dd started walking everywhere (and I was restricted to walking very slowly with her) the weight piled back on...and then some. Currently heavier than pre preg...around 58kg!

I didnt lose weight
either. I gained! but thats because bf makes
me super hungry.

I lost weight breastfeeding. I’m not sure the “eat less” comments are anything other than massively unhelpful. If you are starving for most of the day then your body will hold onto every last calorie you eventually give it- that’s not a healthy way to eat. You need to make sure you are having 3 healthy meals a day (starting with breakfast) and healthy snacks to help regulate your metabolism. Also are you drinking enough? Good luck OP.

I didnt lose a lb for 3mo, then switched to a low carb diet and dropped 3st over the next 3mo!! I breastfed for a year and frankly, looked amazing the carbs crept back in and sure enough 2st has crept back on :(

@TuttiFrutti surely if I was eating more than I use I'd be gaining weight as opposed to stick at the same weight...

If the food diary you've given here is correct then I'd recommend going to the doctor to talk about it.

You really shouldn't be struggling to lose weight if that's all you're eating. There may be something medical going on

I'm worrying now because I was really banking on losing a few pounds when the baby arrives! I hope I'm one of the lucky ones!

@Tolleshunt thanks! Yeah, I didn't BF to lose weight. Just annoyed that as a side effect it is pushed so much when it doesn't"t happen for everyone;

Your partner needs to be cooking healthy dairy-free meals for you if you can't because of breastfeeding.

BF burns about 500 calories a day on top of your usual metabolic rate. 2000 calories a day doesn't sound at all excessive.

You are focusing on the exercise too much. Exercise helps but as the saying goes, abs are made in the kitch. as others have said already, if you aren’t losing weight you are simply eating too much. Even if you are eating a very small amount as you say, being sedentary all day may mean you are just maintaining rather than creating a deficit. Drink black coffee first thing in the morning and get out with the buggy for a good hour before you eat anything in the morning. Try and aim for a couple more 30 min walks throughout the day, drink heaps of water and try to feel hungry between meals.

But most of all, give yourself a break. You have all the time in the world to get your figure back, you are in the middle of the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Be kind to yourself!

With my 2nd, 3rd and 4th I didn’t shift the weight until they were around 8mths and I breast fed too. I had to be quite drastic though as nothing seemed to work. I changed my diet and made meal plans. I exercised everyday. Even now when I am busy I get on YouTube and find a ten minute work out. There are hundreds on there. You need to stop being so sedentary and get more active. Sounds like your diet isn’t the issue however I think you should take a note of what you eat over the course of a few days for you to really understand what your having. I did and found I was picking at high calories foods and my diet was rubbish! Good luck and don’t let it get you down. I was back to pre baby weight in 4 weeks with my 1st but I was younger and had exercised throughout.... after that it was down hill with each pregnancy and no amount of bf made a difference it was what I did above!

Oh, something to consider getting to speed up food prep is a mini chopper. I have the Kenwood one. Makes chopping veg for stew, soffritto etc quite a bit quicker. I find it makes cooking from scratch more viable for me on days where previously I wouldn't have had time. If you couple that with slow cooking and skipping browning, you should find meal prep speeds up considerably and becomes a lot more feasible with a little one. Would also be handy for prepping his food once you are weaning onto solids.

Your baby could well have a tongue tie even though he is gaining weight well. I think if he has a lip tie this is an indication he might well.

My baby did, also a lip tie. We had it sorted at nine months and I continuted to breastfeed until he was two. It made breastfeeding so much easier and quicker, with less wind.

Get a sling. You can feed in a sling - I used to feed my milk monster hands free while doing the supermarket shop. Get a jogging buggy and go for a 45 min run. Eat green salads instead of fretting about batch cooking - something you can throw together quickly. Or just chill - he's only 6 months. You can focus on fitness when he's a bit older. The phrase '9 months to put it on 9 months to lose it' was true for me but obviously some may take longer.

Not sure if anyone has put this but if baby doesnt enjoy the jumparoo have you tried using a sling. I used a double stretch wrap but it might be worth looking for a local sling library or a place you can speak to someone about the different types of slings and the pros and cons to make an informed choice to if they would be a benefit to you (im not even claiming to be knowledgeable) hope that you are able to lose the weight you feel is making you unhealthy.

This exact same thing happened to me. I googled it and loads of people were reporting the same thing so it seems for a certain proportion of people it just doesn't result in weight loss and instead causes weight gain. Something to do with hormones I think I read.

And enjoy yourself and your baby boy 💐