To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

what about cereal esp porridge i assume you have some kind of milk you can use that suits your baby i know you did say oat milk. you can get quick sachets of porridge would be better than having just one meal and is very quick to make fruit is good too for a quick bite to eat obv i dont know what is restricted or eliminated but just a few suggestions

OP now is not the time to try and lose weight. You are knackered and you have your hands full, plus you are BFing. Wait until your LO us a year or 18 months, then you will have more energy and time to meal plan, cook, exercise etc. For now concentrate on healthy eating rather than dieting.

We are dairy and soy free, some suggestions for easy meals and snacks:
Jacket potato, tuna mayo, bagged salad
Toasted pitta bread dipped in houmous
Buy precooked slices of chicken or beef for making sandwiches (instead of cheese)
Soreen banana bread is dairy free
Stir fry, buy a bag of prechopped stirfry veg and frozen prawns
Seabass fried in pan with veg and new potatoes
Salmon baked in oven or fried

what is a myth is “getting back to your pre-pregnancy body” wtf? How is that even possible?

That’s a myth and pressure that is impossible, even for the youngest of mums. Nobody goes through such a feat and “comes back the same”.

Next time someone mentions this, ask them how long after finishing university (or any other similar physical or mental commitment) they were back to their pre- university self

Breastfeeding isn’t forever. Hang in there and put your targets and goals in order, don’t try all at once

I really get this! Didn’t lose weight until I stopped at 16 months. People’s bodies are different.

I think it's a lot to do with willpower. I BF and my child was DF and I lost all my baby weight and more in 7 months.

You have to be honest, you have to eat less and you have to exercise.

I would seriously go the Drs if you are creating a calorie deficit, exercising and not losing weight.

Everyone is different.
I lost lots of weight bf, when DD was about 4 months I was probably the slimmest I've ever been as an adult. However, it didn't last!!
Once she finally weaned I was back to my 'normal' weight.

I read on another thread that high prolactin and low oestrogen makes it difficult to burn fat, and you might not lose weight till you stop bf. I certainly can’t shift any weight despite virtually starving myself!

Could your partner do the batch cooking for you while you feed ? You don’t have to do everything yourself. Also it took a good while for my dd to take the bottle as she was ebf so you have to persevere unfortunately

Some advice on bras. You can use an ordinary bra and alter the strap to have a feeding one. As a big busted lady this was a revelation for me on my second pregnancy. I was far more comfortable. Bf for a year.

You need to get out and walk. Even if you can only do 45 mins before needing to feed him. If you did that 2-3 times a day when he's asleep you would notice a difference. Or you could feed him while out and about.

Also for batch cooking I would use a slow cooker. That way you only need 10 mins to chop everything and leave it cook throughout the day and you can cook loads at once. Currently pregnant and that's what I plan on doing to make life manageable when baby gets here.

I have said it before.
It’s a myth that breastfeeding makes you lose weight
It used to make me feel ravenous and as a result I put on weight

I'm breastfeeding and lost the baby weight in the first couple of months. But I suspect it has more to do with being ravenous and being stuck under the baby for hours a day so you can't snack, more than the calories you use actually breastfeeding. Plus I wasn't overweight before.

You'll find a huge difference if you start him on solids now OP. I was surprised (and a little sad!) how many hours my baby could go without breastfeeding when I introduced solids. Sometimes 4-5 hours in a chunk.

With my DS1, I counted calories and tried so hard to lose weight right from the get go. Worked out while he slept (damn you, Jillian Michaels, why do you lie about how many reps are left?), walked with him in the buggy every day, stayed away from junk food, the lot. I didn't lose a pound even though I was BFing, until I stopped to go back to work when DS1 was 6 months old. I then lost a stone extremely rapidly without changing anything, so much so that a work colleague took me to one side and asked if I had a problem.

Second time around, I was a lot more relaxed and ate well, I knew I'd be BFing longer (I was having a year for mat leave, not 7 months like I did with DS1) and I gave my body a break. I wasn't in a hurry. He was an absolute milk monster (and massive, which was hilarious after measuring small and needing growth scans) and I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a month. I was wobbly and deflated and didn't look like I had done, but the numbers were back to normal on the scale even though cake was my best friend.

TL;DR - Bodies are weird and unpredictable and sometimes you have to give yours a break and be kind to yourself.

I think everything changes so much when you have a young baby that it's impossible to separate out the effect of breastfeeding. I thought breastfeeding had made me lose lots of weight, but then I went back to work, DH started to stay at home - and the weight has been dropping off him! So I think it isn't the breastfeeding, it's the walking (until v recently DS would only do long naps in the pram so I was walking miles and miles a day) and not having time to grab snacks. Alas, now I'm back at work and sat down all day (I'm taking minimal lunch breaks to get home to DS as early as possible so even less opportunity for exercise) the weight is slowly but surely creeping back up...

I breastfed my first and just continued getting fatter until I was 7 stone overweight. Lost it all during a split.

Had my last kid and bottle fed her, so dad, nan and anyone really could give her a bottle, that, coupled with 2 little boys meant I dropped the little baby weight I’d put on in a flash and more. Now I just have to watch what I eat but I’m happy to anyway as I’m coeliac.

The only thing I can think of is that I was sat breastfeeding for large portions of the day and just not moving around a lot at all.

Agree that if you are barely eating most days, but weigh the sa me as when heavily pregnant, you need to see GP.

Regarding exercise, I would recommend a high intensity workout like Metafit. The classes are only about 25 minutes. On the downside, you may feel like you are going to die for the first few classes.

A sling saved my life. I had a baby that fed every 45 minutes for a year and wanted to be on me all the time. Which looking back was lovely really

It’s not a myth. Different people react differently to bf, I lost too much weight while my sil put on weight. Look OP - you don’t like the way your body looks for now, but you seem to have priorities right where your baby is coming first, I had a sticky baby too, she never left my side, never slept through till 2.4years and everything bored her. I breastfed her until i fell pregnant with my son, she was 2.4years. I batch cooked. Maybe when he naps you could do a quick work out - there are workouts that last 15 mins which are great.

Hi OP, unless youre trained youre very unlikely to be able to assess it on your own. I paid for a breastfeeding consultant who was also a tounge tie specalist to assess him, she diagnosed it straight away. I then got ann dobson to rectify (she works across the UK). One of the best things we did for him.

OP I’m with you! I hardly lost weight breastfeeding andI wasn’t eating too much. I think breastfeeding makes some women hold onto fat as a reserve. The pps on here who are quick to say they lost weight are lucky, bit that’s not true for everyone. I found the myth particularly annoying when peddled in NHS leaflets.

It’s not a lie or a myth for everyone, although it hasn’t worked for you.
I didn’t gain any weight in pregnancy but have now lost more or less what my 18 lb 4 month old has gained (from a 5lb start as he was premature, although huge for an early baby). I was a healthy weight to start with so it’s a big drop.
In the first weeks I was ravenous but that stopped. I’m very sedentary given the hours he feeds each day and I eat pretty much what I ate in my non-sedentary days.
I have a similar sized chest to you: make sure you only weigh yourself straight after a long feed as milk has a weight too.

I felt like you after my first, my body hung onto a stone which fell of once i stopped. However I was eating all the wrong things, biscuits in their thousands because they were easy to grab during the day.

Second time BF has made me just as hungry but I eat so much better. Snack on fruit and when I'm starving I try having a glass of water first. Tbh I don't think 2000 calories is "way too much" for a breastfeeding woman as has been suggested by pp. I probably have about 1800 daily. The weight did melt off me this time, I'm 2lbs lighter then pre-pregnancy

It's not a myth. I've not stopped eating since giving birth and lost 30kgs through breastfeeding. I'm 10kgs lighter than pre pregnancy and now have no bottom.
I did find that it was after 6 months that weight really started dropping off

I lost 1lb each day breastfeeding despite eating more than ever before.

Your body is doing something pretty amazing right now. You’ve grown an amazing little human, and now you are nourishing him. You are not gaining weight and you will loose it over time. Be kind to yourself.