To be annoyed at the 'breastfeeding loses weight' lie

[Bibijayne]

Baby boy is nearly six months. EBF.

I have not lost a single pound. Actually, possibly worse. I have no idea how much I lost giving birth but since he was 2 weeks old to now, I weigh exactly the same as the day my waters broke (aka same weight as avec baby bump!!!!)

I hate how I look. But nothing seems to work, and whilst I could technically do more to shift weight I have no time/ money/ anything.

I was overweight before getting pregnant. Put on 10kg. Then got lots of pregnancy complications and lost that weight. But I look awful. So, so awful. I hate my postpartum body.

Which is why everyone (including midwives in the hospital after I have birth, including the health visitor) telling me that the weight would melt off breastfeeding is really annoying.

I would certainly have still breastfed, even though it isn't easy and I had a hospital stay in the early weeks with mastitis.

But seriously?

Baby boy isn't too bad and night, but feeds a lot during the day. He had really bad reflux but would feed to make it feel better - so his weight gain is good so I was offered no help with it. This meant I never had time to cook/ meal prep as at one point he wouldn't go more than 45 mins without wanting to eat in the day.

Turns out he has CMPA which has started to improve now I'm dairy free. But recently noticed he's also reacting to soya. So another food binned.

This drastically limits what I can eat. And leads to having to go back for yet another expensive supermarket shop to find foods I can eat.

But none seems easy to prep - and healthy.

I want to go to the gym. But 1.5 hours without food is too much for him and he ends up besides himself (one hour session, gym 15 mins away). I'd signed him and DH up to a shirt swim class on Sundays, but now I have to take him because he gets really hungry afterwards.

He refuses to drink expressed milk.

I am two stone overweight. I desperately want to be healthier and actually want to look at myself in the mirror.

I also don't want to give up breastfeeding - baby boy loves it, and I enjoy the bonding time - I also think he'd starve himself.

And I still get people talking me to just wait a bit, it'll all melt away if I keep breastfeeding.

And it's bollocks.

My solution to not being able to go to the gym was buy Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and a pair of 2kg weights. DS was still under 2 when I was EBF DD and this worked a treat for me. I just did it when I had 30 minutes peace, 3 times a week. I still shred and she is 7 now, I've just added yoga onto the end.

you dont have to wait for a dietician to start introducing food. You can give him a little baby rice mixed with breast milk now and if he takes to that start introducing, one at a time, vegetable purees like carrot and some mashed banana. They very rarely cause any reaction. Some foods should only be introduced with advice - wheat, gluten (a protein found in wheat, rye, barley, and oats), nuts, peanuts, peanut products, seeds, liver, eggs, fish, shellfish, cows’ milk and soft or unpasteurised cheese.

I certainly didn't lose weight - a little came off when I stopped both times, but I was so sleep deprived (both mine were rubbish sleepers) I'm sure I was eating more carbs type food to stay awake. I also think the pill had something to do with it. I seem to be quite sensitive to hormones. My body only felt and looked better a couple of years six later when I started running and overhauled my diet. I remember being very envious of the "breast feeding melts the weight away" people. There is another saying "nine months to grow a baby, nine months to recover" but I personally found it a lot longer. Young babies need more of you than you realise, the only time I felt good about my body after dc1 was when the health visitor said to me "remember you have grown a baby, and your feeding continues to do that, how amazing is your body!" Totally reframed my lumpy chubby body for me. You will get there too

I didn't lose anything until I stopped BF both times. In fact I could eat more and still lose weight after I stopped. I was really careful about what I ate while BF, afterwards I could have treats. People just vary.

I don't know why people are saying 2000 calories is "way too much " when that's the recommended daily intake for a female?

To be honest OP it sounds like you need to sort out DS's feeding issues before worrying about weight loss as it i just another thing to stress you out. By 6 months one would usually expect to be able to go more than an hour between feeds and 4 hours of cluster feeding in the evening sounds horrendous.

I appreciate that you don't want to give up breastfeeding but could you consider an occasional bottle of formula to give yourself a break? Or start giving him solids and see if you can reduce his milk intake.

EBF is great but it must be affecting your mental health if you really only do get 10 minutes at a time to do anything, so it might be time to think about moving on.

I think you need to be gentle to yourself OP. You have a high needs baby which is making it difficult for you to prioritise your own health at the moment. You’re doing an amazing job EBFing him, and he is obviously getting the benefit of that.

It won’t be long before he can start having some solids, which will hopefully reduce the amount of feeding you have to do. That will give you some scope for spending more time cooking and getting out to walk / the gym etc.

In the meantime try to see your body as the amazing entity which created your son and now sustains him. It may not look the way you want at the moment, but it’s incredible. And in time, you will have more freedom to work on how it looks and feels

Look if there is a buggy fit class near you - I enjoyed those when dc were little!

Thank you everyone. I've a lot of great ideas here.

Check thyroid (just in case)

Food prep - use the slow cooker more, cut out browning etc stages. Also set up DH with YouTube vids and send him to the kitchen :) will check out the CMPA page for good dairy free and soya free recipes.

Rotate baby through different play activities to buy a bit more time to get stuff done.

Investigate latex teats for bottles/ cups.

More walking with the pram!

See if we can sort out the let down/ supply issue and make sure baby boy is feeding well. Wind mid feed,.try different positions, consider block feeding if that's still an issue.

Build in some at home exercises.

Not suggested... But perhaps talk to PT about a slightly shorter workout, 45 mins instead did an hour may help.

Hi - I was DF for 2 years while I BF and also had to avoid soya, although I could eat small amounts and get away with it.
I'm trying to remember what I ate and pretty sure it was mostly things like jacket potatoes, beans on toast etc. What I did "invent" was honey & mustard chicken casserole, which was equal parts honey / whole grain mustard, stock cube, loads of veg and chicken and leave in oven / slow cooker. Think I also thickened with corn flour or gravy depending on what we had. I think batch cooking will have to wait I certainly never managed any, but once she was weaning I was able to cook a bit more while she was in her high chair watching / playing with some food. It will happen - just do a little bit if you can, if you can't then that's ok 😀 I also got a lot of help from the cmpa Facebook groups. Good luck!

Also, be easier on self. See weight loss as longer term goal.

Have you checked for tongue tie? My little one needed feeding every 1.5hrs and was cluster feeding, but it was because he wasnt feeding properly as he wasnt able to. We got tongue tie sorted and it made a world of difference. He was able to go longer between feeds which in turn meant i could do.more, i couldnt walk to my shops a mile away without him screaming for the boob before.

@BabynamehelpArgh because he's gaining weight and a really happy baby (especially in the doctors... Why do baby's do that?) They're all fairly unconcerned.

Block feeding worked really well for me with oversupply. There are a lot of facebook groups out there for breastfeeding support which can help you feel less alone in the whole thing.

It sounds like you've got some ideas to get started, I hope things start to feel more manageable soon

WRT meal/food prep, can't your DH help with this if you don't have the time? It would take him little time to prep the veg for a stew or casserole for you the evening before. Then you can cook while holding your DS as it doesn't take much effort once all in a pot or slow cooker. The same with soups. And if made in big batches and frozen in portions it makes life much easier.

I breastfed my DD and lost a lot of weight. Had to buy all new clothes. I was always starving even when I'd only just eaten so def had to restrict myself sometimes.
I ate normally though I didn't overeat just had cereal in morning, bagel at lunch, proper dinner and fruit in between everything

@Smiler88 I can't see any obvious tongue tie, but I think he may have a lip tie. But I'm not sure what is/ isn't normal.

My youngest is 8 months now, and I feel your pain. With my first, I really did lose weight while breastfeeding without any effort, but it definitely hasn't happened this time... Mine's also not keen on bottles, and not super keen on solids (although he will eat puree better if my husband gives it to him - might be worth seeing if yours is similar when the time comes!)

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, and I definitely don't think this means you need to stop breastfeeding (you're right that babies still need breastmilk/formula until they're at least 1, but the ratio of solid food to milk increases as they get older - though my first basically ignored solid food until he was 9 months, so don't worry if yours isn't eating tons the minute they turn 6 months!)

You might look at things that distract him - I get 15 mins from a jumperoo, sometimes, and he likes sitting in his high chair in the kitchen watching me do cooking while he plays with plastic spoons and his teething toys. Have a think about things you can do in 10-15 min chunks - might take a couple of slots to do dinner that way, but perhaps you can, for example, prepare veg in one slot, then cook in the next, etc. And your husband needs to learn how to cook things. Not everything, but he needs to master at least 2 or 3 meals that he can do on his own, not least for when you're knackered/trapped under the baby. I wrote step by step instructions for mine when I had a similar problem, but a cookbook for beginners might be an option here too.

Also, is your baby definitely hungry each time he feeds? I fed my oldest whenever he cried, but in retrospect, some of those times he might have been complaining about something else. Especially during the cluster feeds, have you tried something like paracetamol in case he's teething? (Apologies if that's obviously not it, but we've just gone through a teething phase that lasted for ever. Paracetamol meant I didn't have to deal with a pissed off baby for hours at a stretch; I'd recommend considering whether that might be part of the problem...)

Just because BF’ing hasn’t caused you to lose weight, doesn’t mean it’s an out and out lie. I lost masses when BF’ing, though I appreciate you may not want to hear that.

Up your exercise, even if it’s just walking more every day and do not starve yourself. Your body needs fuel, if you don’t eat enough then your body will simply hang onto fat reserves for when it needs it. Little and often really is best.

Good luck OP.

I’m the same. CMPA bf baby with reflux. Heavier 3mo after birth than full term
Some good advice here, definately Facebook CMPA bf page.
Feeding every 45m sounds like soothing reflux burn. Is baby on antacid like ranitidine?
I lost the weight from around 9mo pretty easily.
This is a short period in your life, go easy on yourself.
Oh and baby led weaning is much much more fun than baby rice and packets as mentioned above

@bibijayne I've had 2 kids and breastfed both. I have found it harder to lose the weight than if I wasn't breastfeeding.

First time I did a low carb diet with high impact training ( shorter exercise sessions, you can find some on you tube but be cautious if you have any post pregnancy problems like diastsis recti seperation) and got back to below pre pregnancy weight. 2nd time I tried the same approach with even stricter low carb and adding in lots of walking too (7-10miles a day) this was at about 12months post baby. 2nd time just hasn't worked. I decided my body isn't ready if it's that hard to do it and when I returned to my normal diet I didn't put on weight. I will 're try when sleep gets better as I think lack of sleep also makes a huge difference.

Be kind to yourself, your body has done an amazing thing. You may finding easier when he weans/is taking less from you. Your body is designed to hang onto fat stores whilst breastfeeding.

Exercise is a huge help with building muscle - don't focus on weight on the scales, it's how your clothes fit and your shape which are more important.

Good luck!

Yanbu.
BF is all about sitting down. It didn't help me lose weight either.

And would highly recommend a bf support group or LLL meeting if you’ve got them near you

I'm afraid the only way for me to lose the weight was no breakfast, lots of water, homemade soup (as much as I wanted) and interesting salads. I also ate a lot of pineapple and salmon. And that was my diet for 6 months. If I went out then I had a treat. Endless coffees and eating between meals was not possible. The weight falls off. No carbs at all.

I also put my baby in the pram and I walked miles. And I mean, miles. Sometimes 12 miles a day. It was the only way to get any exercise. The walking helped me feel less depressed and trapped.

To keep the weight off I now maintain that diet to a large extent.

For me breastfeeding neither helped or hindered the weight loss.

Same here op. I gained weight! And I walked him to sleep for naps so clocked a lot of miles. And I didn't gorge on crap either. It certainly is a myth that it works for everyone!

I got a nutribullet last year and swapped half my lunch for a juice. You can buy prechopp3d frozen mixes so take around 2 mins to make. add a bit of yoghurt and warm water. Keeps me full for ages. Also a non branded fitbit. Only cost £8. But I now realise how on sedentary days I only walk 8000 steps. I also set goals of 20 stairs a day and just make myself go up and down. I feel so much better. The lack of exercise is self perpetuating as it makes you feel bad.