Cleaner is refusing to soldier

[biscuitbrown]

I've been lucky enough to have a cleaner help out once a week since my first DD was born, we pay her well and we've always been super flexible, she works the day that suits her (rather than a Monday or Friday which I'd actually like). I've always thought we we had a friendship based on mutual respect and flexibility. She's not English and I've gladly helped her with insurance claims/mobile provider issues / school issues /hospital appointments etc. We give her a generous bonus at Christmas, we look after her. I've just gone back to work 3 days a week (long hours) and we've taken the huge step of getting an au pair, which is the first time we've had any childcare. Our au pair is brilliant - capable, trustworthy, hardworking, helpful, she cooks when I'm working, keeps their rooms tidy, washes their clothes, babysits etc. We found her through an agency and they explained how it is a cultural exchange, gave us guidance on what you can and cannot expect an au pair to do.

Anyway to cut to the chase, we pay our cleaner well to clean the whole house. But now we have the au pair she outright refuses to clean her room. I am only asking her to vacuum and dust, not tidy or touch her things (and au pair is SO tidy). I asked her why (this was all on text) and she said the au pair is old enough to look after herself. She's 18. But cleaner is paid to clean all the rooms and has been doing so for years... AIBU?!

An idea for you OP, tell the cleaner you are deducting x% of her wages for not cleaning the au pair’s room. Inform her the deducted money will be given to the au pair instead. After all she is doing part of the cleaner’s job, yes.

You obviously seem to look after your cleaner well but i just wonder about her integrity? You've said yourself she works when SHE wants to, not when you'd like. I'm sorry i know there has to be give and take sometimes but she seems to be wanting tl call the shots and in my opinion when someone is paying your wages you do as they say/request, not lay down the law yourself. She uses the excuse the au pair is old enough to look after herself so does include you /your partner? Is she happy to hoover/dust your bedroom? If she is then her argument doesnt stack up. Im going to say shes seen how great the au pair is and feels threatened, however shes not exactly going about it the best way! The au pair sounds like someone who has/is making your life easier. The cleaner doesnt. They're ten a penny, buck her ideas up or ship out!

I don't think there's any point speculating on what the cleaner's reasons might be. She gets paid to do a certain amount of cleaning and if she is refusing to do it, she either gets paid x % less (you'd need to work that out, obviously) or she can find a new job.

does not sound like you have high cleaning standards if you rely on your dh and agencies to sort out cleaning. Fair enough. Those agency cleaners need someone to work for.
In my experience, yes. Hence you are tarred by association.

Think these comments say more about you

The cleaner is a self employed contractor. The contract between you is that you pay X amount for her to clean the entirety of your home. If she is not fulfilling her part of the contract then like a lot of others have said, either her contract price is reduced or it is terminated. Let us know how it goes.

MMMMbrekkie -- perceived by her to be lower status. Not by me, obvs. But some people/cultures do believe status accrues with age. And I said a younger adult, not a younger person. Children get a pass on cleaning their rooms because they are too small.

The cleaner has agreed to do the AP's room according to OP's post at 10pm last night.

Problem solved.

Maybe the cleaner's been burned in the past, maybe she's been accused of stealing something from an au pair or babysitter and doesn't want to get into that again.

It sounds like she values your help and friendship and doesn't want to jeopardise her job with you by being accused of taking things or looking at personal stuff which belongs to the au pair.

Why don't you just give her time to adjust and befriend the newcomer?

Or offer her an extra fiver/tenner/whatever. After all, there is now an extra person in the house creating mess/dust/etc. Regardless of how clean and tidy the au pair is, it's still an extra person that the cleaner is cleaning for.

My father is the best cleaner I know. I don’t think cleaning is some sort of rare mythical skill that needs to be cherished that only a few lucky souls are able to do well.

I guess this proves my point.

Get a new cleaner. Simples.

must have missed that toach thought she said ap could clean her rown room but what if cleaner redused to do another room

Totally agree, you pay her - she cleans! The room is irrelevant! Can you give her an ultimatum?

Just tell her she needs to hoover and dust and if she can’t find it then you’ll happily find a new cleaner.
However...the au pair is old enough to do it herself. And if she’s only working 3 days a week then she has more than enough time on her hands. If she’s a super tidy and clean person it bother her

Maybe because they both chat like friends she feels a little bit humiliated to clear her room?

blueshoes you have a cleaner, therefore you must be a snob. Only posh (snobs) have cleaners.

Generalisations based on zilch facts don't do you any favours. Bet your cleaners bloody hate you

Have had similar.
It’s not going to improve as there will be something else next time.
Its hard and annoying but start putting out feelers for a replacement.

Just try replying

"Sorry I think you misunderstand me. I want you to clean au-pair's name's room, I don't want you to avoid this room"

She might feel that as she is younger and new, that she should not clean for her. I have seen a similar situation with a very mature cleaner who had trained as an economist in her home country many moons ago. You might find your cleaner feels insulted that she has to clean for the younger new employee. Of course, she shouldn't, but...... Tell her you want to make sure the carpet is well maintained and although the Aupair should clean her own room, It would be your preference that while she has the hoover out that she can hoover ALL rooms.

I’ve been on Mumsnet for some while and have rarely read such opinionated unmitigated crap ( in my opinion ) as blueshoes has written on this thread.

Maybe she thinks you have added to her cleaning square footage by expecting her to clean regularly a spare room that was previously never used so she probably never bothered to vacuum it? She might ask for a pay increase as she sees it as more work? Your better to speak face to face as text messages can be misinterpreted.

It's so you can keep a check on your au pair. If the cleaner cleans the au pairs room how do you know your au pair is up to no good e.g. drugs in the worst case scenario. What the cleaner doesn't see she can't report. It's for you to check on the au pairs room not the cleaner.

What a load of shit @Goodynuf.

The cleaner isn't checking on anything. She is there to clean. Clue is in her title

I shit you not ...😂