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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My Birthday Party his Football

150 replies

SKK01 · 05/02/2019 11:27

Hi, am I been unreasonable. I am looking at having my birthday party but DH says it clashes with a weekend when he was planning on taking the kids to Wembley to watch the football. The party isn’t on my birthday it’s a few weeks later, DH thinks that I should move the date for my party as the date for the football is fixed. I have said no, he has said that both him and the kids will therefore be going to the football, as it’s not everyday you get to go to Wembley with your kids to watch your team play. Should I compromise and move the date, or dig my heels in and see what he chooses.

OP posts:
xTinkerhellx · 05/02/2019 11:31

Does he already have the tickets?

If so it's a bit off of you to book a party on a date that he already has commitments for.

I would probably also go to the football. He is right that the date is fixed, whereas you appeared to have arbitrarily chosen that same date. I am assuming that you could book the weekend before or after without too much hassle and are just refusing to to make a point?

Babyboysarenowbig · 05/02/2019 11:31

I’d move the date so the children could experience both 🤷🏻‍♀️

BigFatBloomers · 05/02/2019 11:31

Yes you should change the date of your party.

Neverunderfed · 05/02/2019 11:32

Why does your party have to be that day?

Original poster
SKK01 · 05/02/2019 11:32

No he hasn’t got the tickets yet. In fact they might not even get through to play there. But he doesn’t want it to clash

OP posts:
callieisdoingit · 05/02/2019 11:32

I would change the date. It's not just a regular game when it's played at Wembley.

Celebelly · 05/02/2019 11:32

I'd just pick another day for birthday party if it hasn't been settled on yet. Then the trip to Wembley and your party can both be attended with no stress. I don't think he's being unreasonable when your party date hasn't been arranged yet and there's something else on he would like to go to with the kids. If they would enjoy it, seems a shame for them to miss out when they could easily be part of both.

HoppingPavlova · 05/02/2019 11:32

Move the date of your party, simple solution.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 05/02/2019 11:33

YABU. This is an experience that he and the children could have that would be really amazing.

Your party isn't even on your birthday. So you're being really precious here.
Just pick another date.

clary · 05/02/2019 11:34

Omg move your date! How fies he know already that his team are at Wembley BTW? But yes, that trumps everything (well it does in our house. Mind you their team has only played at Wembley about three times in the last 15 years.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/02/2019 11:34

Why not have the party on or nearer to your actual birthday and avoid the clash?

Are the children both of yours? Why wouldn’t you want them at your party?

ChrisjenAvasarala · 05/02/2019 11:35

You're a grown up. Your birthday party really shouldn't be so previous to you.

If the kids would really enjoy the football, then move your date. The team might not get through but if they do, the kids should get to do both. If they don't get through, then there's been no negative effects anyway; just a different date.

greendale17 · 05/02/2019 11:37

The party isn’t on my birthday it’s a few weeks later, DH thinks that I should move the date for my party as the date for the football is fixed. I have said no

^Why are you having a birthday party weeks after your actually birthday?

Anyway I completely agree with your husband on this. YABU.

xTinkerhellx · 05/02/2019 11:37

To be fair it might be an away game to Tottenham rather than a cup or play off game.

But still. You haven't booked it yet, are 'just looking'. So why are you fixed on that date?

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/02/2019 11:37

I think you should move the party. Going to Wembley is a big deal and your DC would probably love it. Unless there is no other weekend you can do, you should move the party.

It sounds a bit like your unwillingness to move the party is motivated by a dislike of football rather than desire for your party.

firawla · 05/02/2019 11:38

I’d Move your party date - you are being a bit petty considering it’s not even your actual birthday

burritofan · 05/02/2019 11:38

I still remember going to see my dad's team in the play-offs at Wembley, it was immense and special. Parental birthdays all blur into one – and it's not even your actual birthday day! Just pick any other date.

Yellowcar2 · 05/02/2019 11:39

Seeing as it's not actually your birthday YABU and should change the date of party.

Wingedharpy · 05/02/2019 11:39

Why would you want to make life any more difficult than it already is?

PentreBachCymraeg · 05/02/2019 11:41

No brainer, change the date of your party surely?? Hmm

TheMaddHugger · 05/02/2019 11:41

WTF lady you ARE Being Unreasonable.

Unbeleivable

PinkHeart5914 · 05/02/2019 11:41

The party isn’t even in your actual birthday yabu

RhiWrites · 05/02/2019 11:42

He’s said what he’ll choose, and it sounds uncaring but when you follow a football team this is a big deal.

I’m not in favour of all this “adults don’t need birthdays” malarkey. Everyone should have a day to be loved and celebrated.

But since nothing is booked yet, pick a different date, don’t start a fight or set up a choice between you and the footie. That will not end well.

MissMacaron · 05/02/2019 11:43

Do you like your husband and your children? If so, move the party. It’s not on your actual birthday anyway.

If you don’t like them, love a bit of drama or just want to play about trying to figure out whether they’d choose you or football (!) then, yeah, keep on I would.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 05/02/2019 11:43

Everyone SHOULD have a day to be celebrated. And OP has that day. Her birthday. She can not demand that they block off this pretty important event weeks after her birthday though.