My Birthday Party his Football

[SKK01]

Hi, am I been unreasonable. I am looking at having my birthday party but DH says it clashes with a weekend when he was planning on taking the kids to Wembley to watch the football. The party isn’t on my birthday it’s a few weeks later, DH thinks that I should move the date for my party as the date for the football is fixed. I have said no, he has said that both him and the kids will therefore be going to the football, as it’s not everyday you get to go to Wembley with your kids to watch your team play. Should I compromise and move the date, or dig my heels in and see what he chooses.

There are not many football loving husband's that would choose their wife's party over watching their team play at Wembley especially when they know the party date can be moved.

Equally, there are not many wives that would ask their husband to miss watching their team at Wembley to attend a birthday party that can be arranged for another date.

This is a reverse right? The party needs to change.

husbands not husband's.

So you are doing this to "test" him. He has already given you your answer. If you continue with that booking, he will take the DC to Wembley (if the team get through).

You can either change the date or have a party without your family.

You need to address the bigger picture of your relationship rather than playing these rather dangerous games.

Why did you choose that date specifically? Its not your birthday so is there a reason that day looked good to you?

So none of you have booked any date yet, you are just insisting on booking a date that you know will prevent him to do something important to him and the DC??

Oh the drama 🙄

YABU. This is not the time to test your DH. You are bringing the children into this. Why should they miss out on the experience of going to Wembley? A trip to the football is much more exciting than an adult's birthday party anyway.

Move the date of your party to one nearer your birthday where there isn't a clash. If you aren't happy with your husband work out what to do about it in a mature way.

Have the party and tell him he can watch it on MOTD afterwards.

Then wait for the divorce.

I'm not into football but if it's a really big match and something that he had already planned to do (with the kids too, which is nice) then I would just choose a different date for the party. Does it really matter which day it is?

Imagine how disappointed children would be missing a trip to Wembley just for an adults birthday party. You really need to change your dates.

What you're doing here is called being spiteful.

If you feel he always takes precedence, then address that, but this isn't the way.

YABU and spiteful

I hate football, and I remember several threads in the summer when the men's world cup fucked up a variety of pre-booked, equally important events for people because suddenly everyone was obsessed with watching grown men chase balls round fields.

But even I think you are being childish, spiteful, selfish and unreasonable. Not only are you trying to make your H 'prove' that you are the most important person in the world, but you are dragging your children into your attention-seeking games. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your marital troubles aren't at least half your fault, if this is how you try to resolve them.

Stop playing games. YABU and you know it.

I saw the title and didn't see how you could possibly be wrong here. But you managed it. Choosing a "random" date 2 weeks later to deliberately test him and deliberately deprive your DC of a day out?

Is it your 15th birthday?

Based on the posting here, it seems to be a possibility that the DH in question doesn't put himself first all the time, he just isn't daft enough to pander to such childish demands.

And I say that as someone who was an immature teen/early 20s woman who played the "Waaaaah! Pick me!" card with my now husband. He didn't put up with it then, and he doesn't have to now!

YABVU and childishly spiteful.

Your proposed party date isn’t even your actual birthday, why would you deliberately try and sabotage your DH doing something really memorable and exciting for your DC?

Pathetic.

It sounds like you’ve done this on purpose and if that’s the case, your DH is right to push back.

If he’s put you second, then deal with that. Don’t construct a situation where you are being unreasonable and he won’t give in to that. It weakens your argument massively.

It also means you’ll be unhappy at your party so your plan is lose-lose.

I think you’re being childish, marriage isn’t meant to be about one upmanship and tests to see how dedicated your spouse is to you.

Ohh look, another grown up adult being precious about their birthday, sorry it's not even your birthday as its weeks away from your actual birthday.

Why don't you get on the phone to Wembley stadium or the FA and see if they can reschedule the game for you?

Bet this gets deleted "due to privacy concerns" or some nonsense.

I think you are being childish, spiteful, selfish and unreasonable. Not only are you trying to make your H 'prove' that you are the most important person in the world, but you are dragging your children into your attention-seeking games. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your marital troubles aren't at least half your fault, if this is how you try to resolve them.

《《《《 this

Pretty unanimous YABU.

Ultimately, I don't think it particularly matters that it's football. Same principle would apply if they were keen stargazers and there was the prospect of an unusual constellation being visible that weekend, or they were fans of a particular band and there were rumours of a gig on the relevant date. It's all so unnecessary.

completely agree with your husband YABU