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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put toddler in nursery when I have a days annual leave?

312 replies

Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:47

My 16 month goes to nursery 4 days per week and enjoys it. He was poorly last week and we ended up taking an extra day and a half off between me and DH to keep him off. He’s pretty much better now just a cough and runny nose but he’s passed his bugs onto me and I feel grotty Sad
I had a day booked off today to use up leave before I lose it and had thought about doing something fun together, but I feel really rough and had a terrible night sleep so I’ve ended up dropping him into nursery (as it’s all paid for anyway).
Now I’m feeling aaaallll the guilt about leaving him there when he’s not 100% better himself yet, and wondering about whether to pick him up after his lunch. But then the other side of me wants to enjoy my day off, do a bit of house tidying then lie on the sofa and watch Netflix Blush AIBU!!?? And what would you do...

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 05/02/2019 18:47

@kindlyplay yep and?
It's done, he's fine, op is feeling better.
End of

Original poster
Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 18:54

Yes kindlyplay that was what I was asking and it turns out the majority of people felt I was ok for doing it. It was a cold which he had an extra day and a half off for last week, and he had a quiet weekend/Monday with not much stimulation. He was tearing round the house as normal this morning and would have been cranky staying at home today with me as I really didn’t have much energy and spent a lot of the day on the sofa. Instead he’s had a fun day playing and being distracted. I was feeling guilty but now feel pretty good about my decision although I’m guessing you still think I should have made him suffer with me at home!

OP posts:
LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 05/02/2019 18:58

Don't see the issue. Especially if not 100% is just a mild cold or something. Otherwise be off all the time. If it does you good as well which from the sounds of it has then don't feel guilty. Not the first parent to do this and won't be the last.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 20:13

I was feeling guilty but now feel pretty good about my decision although I’m guessing you still think I should have made him suffer with me at home!

I actually don't think that at all. Your OP just said he wasn't 100% better yet. No mention of him tearing about the house as normal. I only answered on the information given.

riotlady · 05/02/2019 20:27

Glad you both had a good day!

Can’t believe people saying they wouldn’t send their child to nursery with a cold. My daughter has been continuously ill for the past month with a cold, cough, ear infection, stomach bug and now conjunctivitis. She’s had some days off here and there, especially when she had a fever, but if I didn’t send her in when she was slightly ill she wouldn’t have been in at all!

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 21:46

*So many people have said they would take their DC to nursery if they had the day off, but that's not even the question

The question was whether OP should send her not quite fully recovered from their illness DC into nursery because they were feeling rough themselves and wanted to relax.*

Wasting your breath, they don't want to acknowledge how the child is feeling. Now that OP is feeling slightly "rough" he has miraculously recovered 😂

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 21:48

Can’t believe people saying they wouldn’t send their child to nursery with a cold.

Really, no one said that. They said if he's not feeling great and the OP has a day off anyway she should keep him off. If she had to go to work fine, but she didn't she was OFF anyway.

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 21:51

If I was off work and my son was still feeling under the weather he would be off with me, I would feel guilty if I sent him to nursery will I was lying in my bed watching Netflix, knowing he wasn't feeling great himself. OP certain made a quick recovery.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 21:53

Can’t believe people saying they wouldn’t send their child to nursery with a cold.

Nobody really said that though, did they?

The OP said her child has been ill last week, had passed his "bugs" on to her and was not 100% better yet.

OP did not say her DC had a cold.

thisismadness77 · 05/02/2019 21:56

Never mind you are ill, id do it if I just needed a break! Mental health day. Enjoy yourself.

Gillian1980 · 05/02/2019 21:57

Yanbu!

I regularly take a day off when DD is in nursery so I can either rest or just have some me time.

And I would not keep dd off nursery for a cold.... if we all did that the nursery would be half empty every day! Obviously if she’s properly ill I do, but not for a cold.

likeafishneedsabike · 05/02/2019 22:00

Horrified with some of the attitudes from the minority here. It must be a nightmare to live with the burden of martyrdom. Make your own choices for your own reasons and allow other people to parent in their own way.

likeafishneedsabike · 05/02/2019 22:06

This business of guilt is the issue of previous posters to work through as best they can. It's got bugger all to do with the OP.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 22:08

Make your own choices for your own reasons and allow other people to parent in their own way.

And don't post in AIBU asking for opinions 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ilikeeyes · 05/02/2019 22:23

If she had to go to work fine, but she didn't she was OFF anyway

But if the child is well enough to go to nursery when Mum is in work, then he's well enough to go when Mum is off ...

Hope you enjoyed your time off-guilt free!

Rafabella · 05/02/2019 23:30

100% would not have put him into nursery. Simple.

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2019 23:53

The OP said her child has been ill last week, had passed his "bugs" on to her and was not 100% better yet.

OP did not say her DC had a cold.

The cough and runny nose in the OP were the first hints. The follow up mentions of his cold, using the word ‘cold’ were also good pointers. Grin

Topttumps · 06/02/2019 00:13

Y were nbu op. Hope you are feeling better. After all you can’t fill from an empty cup. Self care is important too.

jessstan2 · 06/02/2019 00:14

Enjoy your day to yourself and don't feel guilty.

PietariKontio · 06/02/2019 06:06

Even if you were 100% well and he was only at 80% recovered, I would say you're definitely NBU.
He enjoys nursery, he won't notice anything out of the ordinary, you can have a fun/relaxing/exciting whatever day, sounds win-win to me.
Those pompously dumping on you for it aren't actually concerned about the wellbeing of your child, cos there's clearly no harm there. Why the hell shouldn't a parent have a day off? For whatever damn reason they want.
If a relative looked after the child would they be happier? And if so, what's the difference?
Christ, parenting can be hard enough, without setting arbitrary standards of parental behaviour that have zero effect on a child, based on some people's 'feelings' about it that have no factual basis.
Hope you enjoyed your day.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 08:03

But if the child is well enough to go to nursery when Mum is in work, then he's well enough to go when Mum is off ...

But she wasn't working so it wasn't nessacary.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 08:04

If a relative looked after the child would they be happier? And if so, what's the difference?

Already covered this Grin

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 08:07

It must be a nightmare to live with the burden of martyrdom.

No it's not called being a martyr, its called parenting. That's what you sign up to when you have a child, occasionally having to look after sick children even if you don't feel great yourself.

wishywashy6 · 06/02/2019 08:18

I wonder if this thread will still be going when the OP's DS is at uni, emotionally scarred from his afternoon at nursery 🤔

ethelfleda · 06/02/2019 08:34

Wishywashy Grin