To try cry it out method

[loveskaka]

I have tried everything to get my wee one to sleep through, nothing is working! I am considering trying cio but would like to hear some stories on your experiences. I did say I wouldn't do it but I am up at 6am for work really struggling now. Pls help!

This is my personal experience. I tried this method with my eldest DS. it was very very difficult to do and caused both him and I horrendous stress and emotional pain. I stuck with it and it would work after about three days but only for a short while until something upset the routine such as him having a cold or teething or...anything really and then we'd have to reset the routine. He is a teenager now and perfectly well adjusted human being but I on the other hand site it as the biggest regret I have of parenting. I would not do it again, the memory of how awful that time was haunts me. Sorry to be melodramatic, and as I say its just my own experience, others will have positive experiences I'm sure.

What age is your baby? Do you mean controlled crying (where you go into them at intervals) or cry it out (where you just leave them to cry). I wouldn't just leave them to cry btw. What else have you tried? How do they get to sleep now?

How old is your baby? Have you made absolutely certain that there is nothing that hurts the baby (allergy / teething)? Is the baby crying for attention at night because they miss you in the daytime, in which case cosleeping might work better to give the baby attention? Even if you're determined there is no issue apart from the baby's clinginess (emotional distress), why would you decide on cry it out instead of gentler methods such as pat & retreat?

I'd never do it and probably can't respond rationally to you, so I'll leave it with those questions.

I don't believe in allowing cio. It is cruel.
I had my husband help with stopping night feeds at 14 months. I was like a zombie through lack of sleep. It took less than a week of only being attended to by dad for him to sleep through. Could you try that?

I read somewhere that not going to your baby when he cries is breaching the trust he has in you. A baby cries because he can't talk, it's his only form of communicating that he's unhappy about something, like feeling alone. Leaving to 'cry it out' is distressing for you both and not to be advised.

OP, look up 'controlled crying'. It worked wonders on my 7 month old, and it was pretty tough (on me, who never let my babies cry for longer than was absolutely necessary). But after two nights she went to sleep happy and knowing I was there for her. Good luck OP. It will get better x

I did controlled crying where i checked on her at intervals to atop her getting hysterical.

Worked in about 3 days and she has slept through 7-7 since 5 months.

Are you talking about cry it out or controlled crying? Because they are not the same thing.

We did controlled crying with DS at 8 months and it worked in 3 days and he literally became a different (happier) child overnight. He is still a brilliant sleeper aged nearly three. No regrets.

I personally believe crying it out (or crying yourself to sleep which is really the end goal) is cruel. A baby's form of communication is crying. It's emotionally damaging if a parent doesn't turn up at all when you are hysterically crying for them.

Try controlled crying instead, perhaps, as others posters have mentioned.

Appalling.

Don't do cry it out, OP. Try comforted crying instead where you stay in the room with baby or controlled crying where you keep going in. Our maternity nurse let DD2 cry it out for one of her lunch sleeps once when I had gone out to the doctor with DD1. I never let her be alone with the baby again.

Crying it out isn’t a sleep training method, it’s basically leaving a baby to scream alone until they pass out with exhaustion.

Talk us through your nights in details, inc age of baby and feeding methods etc

Try controlled crying, but just don’t mention it on Mumsnet .

Dd2 used to have a sleep cry. In the buggy she would reach fever pitch then suddenly sleep. I figured it was a final push to let out energy and possibly because of the falling sensation. We let her cry to sleep in the evening once she was about 8 months. I breastfed my boys and found it harder but once they were on bottles it was easier. They didn’t cry for long (max 5 mins) but I had to watch the clock as it felt like hours.

I worked and this was the best solution for us. Mine also loved their naps & cot was a place of comfort to them once they were toddlers. They are teens now and happy confident kids. I trained them in other ways too. They sit at the table to eat, they are polite etc etc. Why not sleep?
You can hear when they are winding down and winding up & become attuned to what the cries mean. It can be good at first to vacuum or put the washing machine on as it helps them zone out but soon they learn the routine and will do it themselves. I have 4 and each has been different so I think you have to respond to each child and their needs differently.

I wouldn't do it, and I have the worst sleeper ever.

Do you mean controlled crying?

If so, I've done it and it was one of the best parenting decisions I've ever made. It worked in 2 days, I've had a brilliant sleeper ever since, the entire family benefitted from better rest.

My only caveat would be that if it doesn't work fast, it probably isnt going to, so I wouldn't persevere beyond 4/5 days if it isn't improving matters.

Controlled crying works amazingly! Don't be fooled by mumsnet. Have a good Google. We used a local sleep consultant only cost £30 saved our sanity!

We did it at 18 months and it worked! Only took a couple of nights.

I suspect people who disagree with it have never had to juggle a toddler who wakes multiple times a night with going to work and remaining focused all day. You need to be able to function at work. I wouldn't do it with a baby under 1 though.

Good luck!

By cry it out I assume you mean the Ferber method where you go in every few minutes and gradually lengthen the gaps?

I suspect people who disagree with it have never had to juggle a toddler who wakes multiple times a night with going to work and remaining focused all day.

Err, no. My baby woke multiple times a night until I night weaned at 18 months. She's 2 now and still wakes up usually once, sometimes twice a night. I work full time, so does my DP. I will never leave her to scream herself to sleep. Because she is not a dog to be trained, she is a human child we brought here and we owe it to her not to ignore her when she is sad/lonely/afraid.

If my partner hadn't vetoed it past a certain age I would still be co-sleeping with her (and pretty much do after the wee small hours, just squashed into her toddler bed which is doing my back in). Adults like to sleep together, but we expect tiny children to be content to sleep all alone at night, with no cuddles, and not even able to get a drink for themselves if they're thirsty. Of course they wake up and of course they cry for us.

We used a local sleep consultant only cost £30 saved our sanity!

I'd love to know what their qualifications were for that price! I think 'local sleep consultant' in this case my translate to 'random lay person who has worked out some parents need to pay to be given 'permission' to do something all their natural instincts tell them isn't right.'

YABU!

He's 13months and I mean controlled crying.

And controlled crying really isn't that different to cry it out apart from confusing the shit out of the baby IMO. They both have the same result, the baby stops seeking comfort on waking because they know the comfort will not be forthcoming. It doesn't mean they aren't still waking, just that they know better than to bother calling for their parents.

I couldn’t ever do it. My daughter is a year old and sleeps like she’s supposed to- waking frequently for reasons which aren’t necessarily clear to me. Sometimes she hungry, sometimes she wants a cuddle, other times I’ve got no idea what she wants but eventually she will fall asleep. I couldn’t leave her to cry, one because I find it intolerably cruel but two because you’re not achieving anything other than teaching your child that you won’t come even if they cry. They’re babies. They don’t know how to communicate to you what they want other than crying out for you. Ignoring that isn’t just cruel it’s neglectful and if you applied the same logic to most of their other needs you’d be prosecuted for child abuse. We don’t just leave children with dirty nappies until they learn to use the toilet, nor do we leave them starving so that they work out how to feed themselves. Most people would agree either of these would be utterly ridiculous even at an age where they’re “supposed” to be able to do them. Why, therefore, would you expect leaving a child to cry to improve the way they sleep? I don’t know about you but I sleep a lot better when I’m not upset or frightened.