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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to rehome my destructive dog?

178 replies

novaclover · 04/02/2019 18:30

I'm rehoming my dog. When we adopted him as a puppy we had no idea what breed he was or what his temprement would be, and now we're left with a high energy, anxious, destructive dog who since our other dog died can't be left alone for more than an hour. He can escape crates, long walks don't stop his anxiety, he'll happily go to the bathroom inside and he will literally tear doors off of cupboards rather than play with his own toys. We've tried everything but it seems like the only solution will be to make sure he has company 24/7, which is obviously impossible.

The guilt is eating me alive and I feel like a failure because I can't cope anymore. It's been 6 years and today I came home to find all of my baby's toys had been destroyed despite me putting them in a high sided playpen.

AIBU to rehome him?

OP posts:
Forest2017 · 05/02/2019 13:58

Try and rehome to someone in the countryside with other dogs who has their dog with them all day. Plenty of people do.

You can dna test to discover the breed.

If not PTS.

I do think a rescue is selfish on your behalf and cruel for the dog.

SilverySurfer · 05/02/2019 14:11

The dog is obviously unhappy so do him a favour and return him to the shelter who hopefully can find someone who has the interest, time and resources to help him with his separation anxiety.

PinkGin24 · 05/02/2019 14:31

@MoreCheeseDear carry on calling people names all you want. But my dog IS as important to me as human family members. I don't carr if you think that is 'wrong' or 'pathetic'. It is a fact.

And yes, just to make this quite clear for you, I would save MY dog over a stranger or a strange child etc.

MoreCheeseDear · 05/02/2019 14:35

I can only feel sorry for you then, Pink Gin and Whydon'tetc. What sad lives you must lead to not be able to relate to humans more than you can to animals.

As I said, society feels differently, thank goodness.

Youshallnotpass · 05/02/2019 14:40

If you would genuinely save your dog over any child then you are a monster.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 05/02/2019 14:52

I lead a great life. I prefer dogs to most people though. It's very, very clear to see why.

PinkGin24 · 05/02/2019 15:03

@Youshallnotpass not at all... not even a hard choice. Child who is a total stranger or my dog who lives in my home as part of the family and is part of my daily life...

Deadbudgie · 05/02/2019 15:12

Morecheesedear etc. Some people have different experiences to yours, so bloody judgemental of you when you have no idea of people’s life experiences.

My dog has literally saved my life, brought me out of the depths of dispair. Whilst I prob would save a strange child first it would devastate me to lose my dog. I can see why some people might make other choices though.

Dogs are not just another animal. I’ve prob owned every type of pet going, dogs are very much a family member.

MoreCheeseDear · 05/02/2019 15:23

I do judge people who would let a child die to save an animal. Quite proud of that. Shows I'm human.

Deadbudgie · 05/02/2019 15:27

Morecheese, unfortunately that’s soon negated by your inability to understand that some people might have different reactions to the same event as you. You might be human, but let’s remember the evil deeds many of them do, being human does not make you right or superior

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 05/02/2019 15:32

You sound horrible. Definitely a human.

pandechocolate · 05/02/2019 16:00

Ridiculous. I hate this attitude. Dogs don't matter as much as children. They just don't. Get used to it.

Maybe to you, but other people disagree. And if you are disputing that dogs have the same mental capacity as a toddler then you are disputing science and proven theories. Get used to it.

Notsurprisedatall · 05/02/2019 16:03

"I do judge people who would let a child die to save an animal. Quite proud of that. Shows I'm human."

Same. Disgusting

chakra69 · 05/02/2019 16:07

I've had my poodle for a little over a year now. He has severe anxiety when left. Saw a behaviourist for a year, but didn't make any difference. He never destroyed anything when left but would 'scream' the house down and be in a bad state when I returned. I got a camera device with an App that I could watch and speak to him when I left the house, no difference. I then started to pay for doggy day care which cost a fortune. Now, I take him to work with me every day. I guess I'm lucky I can do that. So yeah, turns out the dog has trained me well...

MoreCheeseDear · 05/02/2019 16:13

And if you are disputing that dogs have the same mental capacity as a toddler then you are disputing science and proven theories.

but they are still only dogs. That's the point. Lower animals. Just dogs. Not even primates.

I do get that people love their pets. I loved mine but some people have taken it to ridiculous levels. Human life is worth more than animal life. That's all there is to it. If you think otherwise you are entitled to but you are wrong, of course.

SilverySurfer · 05/02/2019 16:31

When my cat Perkins was alive I would have saved him over anyone, no contest. Some of you simply haven't experienced or don't understand what sort of bond others may have with their animals. That's fine. What's not fine is telling others they are wrong because of your lack of understanding. It's not your fault, just how it is.

PinkGin24 · 05/02/2019 16:44

@MoreCheeseDear you cannot state people are 'wrong' because they believe their own family members life is worth more than anothers.

It is an OPINION.

MoreCheeseDear · 05/02/2019 16:47

you cannot state people are 'wrong' because they believe their own family members life is worth more than anothers.

Of course I can when people are saying animals are family members. They aren't. Family members are human not pets. Basic biology.

PinkGin24 · 05/02/2019 16:50

Find me a definition of where it says a family member is a human being. Family members are those you personally consider family. My dog is the equivilant of any other family member in my household.

Anyway, get your knickers in a twist all you want. Point is there are alot of us who would save our pets over a stranger (and that includes a child).

Pinkblanket · 05/02/2019 16:51

If you can't afford to see a behaviourist so you can help your dog then yes you need to give him up to someone who can and will get him the help he needs. The sooner the better really.

Youshallnotpass · 05/02/2019 16:55

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/family

There you go, your pet isn’t family by that definition if you want to get technical

EhlanaOfElenia · 05/02/2019 16:58

You do not get any government benefits for pets, you can get turned away for housing due to pets, workplaces don't have to give you time off to care for a sick pet, and if you want to move overseas with a pet they are within their rights to lock your pet away for quite a number of months (quarantine) or not even let them in at all. In the plane they go in with the luggage.

I think that tells you very clearly that pets are NOT the same as family. They might be meaningful to you (and so they should be), they might be family replacement. But please would people stop comparing them to family, and children specifically. It's not realistic.

PinkGin24 · 05/02/2019 17:00

It also says family is defined as two parents and children living together in the same unit.... clearly putdated and we all know famalies are fluid.

My family happens to include my dog. And he will ALWAYS come before any stranger.

I don't believe human life is more important than animals. Humans do abhorent things. Give me animals anyday.

Hohofortherobbers · 05/02/2019 17:02

Silvery Surfer, sorry to break it to you but your bond is pretty one sided, Perkins wouldn't have peed on you if you were on fire...

ChairmanMiaow123 · 05/02/2019 17:02

She’s a fucking saint to have lasted this long, with the poxy dog.

And yes, humans are more valuable than animals. There’s a reason why we can routinely put animals asleep, but not humans asleep.