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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being unfit for work doesn't mean unfit for anything.

181 replies

Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:01

A colleague has been certified as unfit for work for the last ten days or so having caught a nasty virus. She's due back in work on Wed. Another colleague saw her in the supermarket yesterday and is chuntering about it being 'disgraceful', 'abusing sick leave' etc.

I've pointed out that pottering around the shops and commuting to a full time job are two very different things but she doesn't seem to get it. AIBU to find this attitude annoying and silly?

OP posts:
DropZoneOne · 04/02/2019 13:03

YANBU

There's many things where you'd be signed off from work, doesn't mean you should be housebound.

MitziK · 04/02/2019 13:03

Pathetic. After all, she'd be off a hell of a lot longer if she couldn't collect any prescriptions or buy food for the best part of a fortnight.

Iamtheworst · 04/02/2019 13:07

Ugh, I was signed off once and my colleague saw me at a cash point in town. I was hauled in over the coals when I got back to work, I had to defend myself. I live in town, it was the closed cash machine, pre mobile banking I was paying back a friend whole had bought me food, and I was wearing my pjs under a big coat.
But I was spotted outside a bar in the middle of the day so clearly I was up to no good.

tinydancer88 · 04/02/2019 13:08

This does my head in. I live alone, am I supposed to not eat and to conjure up painkillers from thin air whilst I languish in my sickbed?

Myusernameismud · 04/02/2019 13:08

I was signed off work with stress a few years back, and used to get all sorts of looks and remarks when I was in town shopping (food shopping FGS!) or having a coffee with a friend. I even had a 'ahhh it's good that you're well enough to do the school run'. Yes Linda, my very stressful job that I'm taking a break from on medical advice hasn't destroyed me to the point where I can't care for my own children.
People can be twats.

Magenta82 · 04/02/2019 13:09

Going to the supermarket is hardly "abusing sick leave", sick people need food and medicine and are perfectly within their rights to procure this.
Also, a little wander round the shop is probably good for her, if she has been in bed for over a week she needs to start building her strength up.

lavalampoon · 04/02/2019 13:10

The poor woman had probably run out of food and was feeling awful dragging herself round the supermarket. That's ridiculous to suggest she therefore should have been at work. I've managed to get myself to the doctor because I knew I'd get worse without medication,then returned home to bed, but I couldn't even think straight, let alone get through a day of work.

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 13:10

depends what the job is.

But yes, if you can bother going shopping, there's no valid reason why you can't go to work. You can do online shopping, and unless it's the first day and you drag yourself to the chemist, if you are well enough, you are also well enough for work.

They should be called "duvet days", at least it's more honest.
Some companies pay full salary even for sick days, and some people abuse it.

OMGithurts · 04/02/2019 13:11

I have a nasty virus. I made it to Tesco yesterday for food and nappies and painkillers. Needed a lie down afterwards. Went to work today (strict attendance management, and I have had d&v and appendicitis in the last year). Got sent home, totally not fit to work. Your complaining colleague is a total bellend.

NorthEndGal · 04/02/2019 13:12

Spotted out at the bingo? Bad
Spotted at t'grocery? Fuck off outta my biz

Ethel80 · 04/02/2019 13:12

A colleague was off sick with stress and depression for months. Partly work related and partly due to an alcoholic husband and the troubles he caused.

She was seen out shopping a couple of times and was talked about horribly at work including people taking the piss because she hid when she saw someone.

The person she hid from was the office gossip, a complete bitch and someone who didn't like the colleague, of course she hid.

People should not isolate themselves when they're off sick, particularly if it's long term.

Colleagues who think it's any of their business should wind their necks in and concern themselves with their own work.

OMGithurts · 04/02/2019 13:14

biscuit you must have one easy ass job if it's no harder to do it for 8 hours than a 10 minute trip round the supermarket and back to bed Hmm and online shopping isn't always possible - no slots, don't need enough for minimum delivery etc.

Boyskeepswinging · 04/02/2019 13:14

With something like a virus it can be hard to know how recovered you are if you're just in bed/on the sofa 24/7. It can be useful to go out, maybe try doing bit of shopping, to see if you are ready to return to work yet.

wigglypiggly · 04/02/2019 13:15

Poor woman, hope she feels better soon, tell your moaning colleague to mind her own business. it's hard enough returning to work after being off sick, you don't need spiteful gossip going on behind your back.

Sindragosan · 04/02/2019 13:15

When I was recovering from a major illness I gradually built up my strength by going for short walks and to the library etc, usually followed by a rest at home for a couple of hours. I wasn't able to go from not being able to get out of bed straight to a full working week. Thankfully my work colleagues aren't dicks and understood this.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:17

Biscuit

Can you genuinely not see the difference between pottering around the local shop in the middle of the morning and then going home to rest, and getting up at seven, commuting for an hour, doing a full day's work and then commuting back home having had no rest all day?

OP posts:
Bumblebee39 · 04/02/2019 13:17

I'm a single parent so I have to go grocery shopping and to the pharmacy etc. Do nursery and school runs. Pay bills and rent. GP appointments. Does that mean I can never have a sick day?!
How silly!

Also, I have had to do some of those things with multiple infections on antibiotics and once with the flu. A day or two after surgery. Etc. I have pulled some clothes on and gone to buy nappies/formula/throat sweets/pain relief etc. No way I could Work. Hmm

drspouse · 04/02/2019 13:18

if you can bother going shopping, there's no valid reason why you can't go to work.
Rubbish.
Half an hour to the supermarket is nothing like a full day at work.
Some illnesses will require specIfic activities as therapy.
Broken limbs: physio, swimming
Bad back: Pilates
Depression: graded activity e.g. shopping, coffee with friends
Social anxiety: small scale social outings, right from a cuppa at a friend's house up to the bingo and a big work social event.

Purplepricklesalloverhisback · 04/02/2019 13:21

I’m off sick at the minute with PGP at 33 weeks pregnant. I have a 2 year old and so am still doing childminder drop offs and then at the weekend, with the support of DH, am able to take DS to soft play as I can just sit and watch. Being housebound would be ridiculously unhelpful.

Limensoda · 04/02/2019 13:22

I've known grown adults worried about going outside when they've been signed off sick ' in case someone from work sees them'
WTAF?!

If anyone or even boss said anything critical to me about being seen outside whilst covered by a sick note I would be letting them know firmly that they are out of order.

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 13:26

at least don't expect to be paid to potter around the shops.

I am all for "duvet days" or days off, but let's not call them "sick days".

Megan2018 · 04/02/2019 13:27

YANBU

I have a team member who was off for PTSD, many months of counselling required. Part way through she went on a pre-booked holiday on medical advice- a change of scene, sun etc being thought to be helpful to recovery. Some colleagues were up in arms about this. I thought it entirely fine in the circs.

Sickness is not always physically impairing.

Ballbags · 04/02/2019 13:29

I think you are even allowed to go on holiday despite being signed off sick. Our HR days you've been signed off work, not life.

Redglitter · 04/02/2019 13:31

God im glad i dont work with you Biscuits

I was hospitalised last year. Was off work for 3 months. After being in bed for 4 weeks i tried to build up gradually. That involved short trips out of the house. I might have spent 30 mins in a shop or met a friend for a quick coffee. Id then go home take painkillers and go back to bed as i was exhausted.

OMGithurts · 04/02/2019 13:34

I stopped in the M&S Food in the hospital when I got discharged the day after having my appendix out, so that there would be food. Biscuits appears to think I should have gone in to work 😂

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