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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being unfit for work doesn't mean unfit for anything.

181 replies

Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:01

A colleague has been certified as unfit for work for the last ten days or so having caught a nasty virus. She's due back in work on Wed. Another colleague saw her in the supermarket yesterday and is chuntering about it being 'disgraceful', 'abusing sick leave' etc.

I've pointed out that pottering around the shops and commuting to a full time job are two very different things but she doesn't seem to get it. AIBU to find this attitude annoying and silly?

OP posts:
HowardSpring · 04/02/2019 17:55

Your views on how employees should be treated when I'll are quite depressing.

I have not mentioned my views at all on how employees should be treated.

I said that only the individual can decide if they are well enough to work and that those who complain about being too ill to work yet expect payment DO NOT ever give that consideration to people who work for them.

And as for the sarky comments about Big Business - I am a self-employed contractor and no-one ever pays me if I am sick, no-one is ever really even sympathetic being more concerned about what is going to happen to them if I can't work for them. And yet these are the people who insist on three days full pay for a sniffle.

joanmcc · 04/02/2019 18:03

Right, so you trade sick leave for the other perks of self-employment, then begrudge it to those who still have it.

Biscuit
Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 18:10

I don't really see how someone with an acute virus can justify a trip to the supermarket if they are not planning to go back to work for a few days. If they live too far away from the supermarket to do an online shop then they probably live quite a way from the supermarket and it isn't a "local" nearby shop. If genuinely sick with a virus and unable to shop online most people would just visit a corner shop rather than drive miles to a supermarket.

prettybird · 04/02/2019 18:17

I don't do online shops, but didn't know that they were prepared to deliver just one loaf of bread, some milk and a bottle of Irn Bru Lucozade which might be all you feel like if you've been ill Hmm

Comefromaway · 04/02/2019 18:22

During dhs 6 months off work we went on a caravan holiday to the seaside, on a London theatre trip, to a concert and he attended several functions involving the children.

The fact he was unable to drive and needed a career with him at all times and some days he collapsed without warning are neither here nor there.

Mayonayse · 04/02/2019 18:29

Hmm. I have been on paid sick leave for 10 years. My company has a benefit which means that employees are paid most of their salary if they are unable to do the job they’re employed to do, via a permanent health insurance arrangement.

Presumably my post will piss some people off. Biscuits?

Megan2018 · 04/02/2019 18:31

@Dungeondragon15
Are you aware that “corner shops” don’t exist outside of towns?
I live in a rural village, no shop for miles. All the village stores closed years ago. Our village is just that, a village with farms and houses. No pub, no takeaways, no cash point.
Nearest shop is a supermarket 8 miles away, so 16 mile round trip for milk, or a chemist, or a prescription.

If I am ill I still have to go out to buy things if needed. We do shop online but you can’t guarantee to get ill the day your shop is due.
In my case fortunately I work a 1hr commute away in a city so very unlikely to bump into a work colleague. But even if I did, so what? I am getting essential supplies!

OMGithurts · 04/02/2019 18:33

My closest shop is the Tesco at the end of my road. It's a £40 minimum charge for home delivery, I needed calpol, paracetamol, milk and tena lady because yes, I was coughing so hard I pissed myself, and no, what I needed didn't come close to £40 for delivery and even if it did, the next slot was a day and a half away. So I went to Tesco. Even though I was sick.

Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 18:35

I don't do online shops, but didn't know that they were prepared to deliver just one loaf of bread, some milk and a bottle of Irn Bru Lucozade which might be all you feel like if you've been ill hmm

Considering the person is not bed bound and is clearly capable of driving and walking to the supermarket they could assume that they will manage to eat more than that between Sunday and going back to work on Wednesday.

hastingsmua1 · 04/02/2019 18:37

Jesus Christ. How is visiting the supermarket an abuse of sick leave? Is she not aware that sick people need to eat, and need those groceries to survive and feel better?

A supermarket visit is hardly a fun-filled or dangerous excursion!

Slipperboots · 04/02/2019 18:39

You rarely go from being bed bound to being ready to be back to a full day at work. We have frequently sent people home for doing just this but they feel pressured to come in. In the end it just prolonges the illness.
Sometimes a walk to the shop is a good gauge in how you are doing, I know sometimes it’s sent me back to bed.

And if you have mental health issues being out is part of the recovery. Sitting at home alone is counter productive.

Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 18:42

Are you aware that “corner shops” don’t exist outside of towns?
I live in a rural village, no shop for miles. All the village stores closed years ago. Our village is just that, a village with farms and houses. No pub, no takeaways, no cash point.

I don't live in a town and there is a nearby shop that is much closer than the supermarket. I would use this if I had a virus and rather than drive 16 miles to the supermarket.

It's always possible to come up with scenarios where someone has to be in a supermarket doing a big shop despite the fact that they have a virus but more likely than not if they are able to walk/drive to shops and wonder around then they don't need another three days off work. Most of the time if they really are that ill they will shop online or get someone else to visit the shops for them e.g. a friend.

Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 18:45

Are you aware that “corner shops” don’t exist outside of towns?
I live in a rural village, no shop for miles. All the village stores closed years ago. Our village is just that, a village with farms and houses. No pub, no takeaways, no cash point.

I don't live in a town and there is a nearby shop that is much closer than the supermarket. I would use this if I had a virus and rather than drive 16 miles to the supermarket. If you live in the middle of nowhere then presumably people know this and if they did see you shopping they wouldn't think anything of it. That wouldn't be the case for most people though whether or not they live in a town.

Anyway, it's always possible to come up with scenarios where someone has to be in a supermarket doing a big shop despite the fact that they have a virus but more likely than not if they are able to walk/drive to shops and wonder around then they don't need another three days off work. Most of the time if they really are that ill they will shop online or get someone else to visit the shops for them e.g. a friend. Apart from anything else if you are really sick and infectious it's considerate to stay indoors and not infect everyone else.

Bombardier25966 · 04/02/2019 18:54

The only corner shop near me sells fags and booze.
I can order online but the next delivery slot is two days away.

So by your reckoning I can get drunk or starve?

Ollivander84 · 04/02/2019 18:54

I did a big shop
I also wandered the clothes section
Went out for coffee
Met up with friends
Went to the gym
Did physio

At no point during any of that time was I fit for work

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 18:56

It is evident in your posts Howard how you think employees should be treated Vis a Vis sick leave. Please don't be so patronising and disingenuous.

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 18:57

At no point during any of that time was I fit for work

Presumably you weren't off work with an acute virus though as in the OP. It very much depends on why the person was off sick.

anniehm · 04/02/2019 18:58

Sort of depends, if you are signed off because you can't manage to sit at your desk for even a shortened day but can manage a full supermarket shop it does make you wonder if their dr signed them off for too long (and if they are contagious they shouldn't be out in public).

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 18:59

Are you As doctor dungeon. Because I have often been able to go out for a short time every day while still not being up to return to work. But you seem to think this is not possible. On what grounds?

OP posts:
AngelaHodgeson · 04/02/2019 18:59

If she's been off for 10 days (so signed off for two weeks) she was probably really ill and is in a recovery phase. Where you can be well enough to do stuff for an hour or two but not for a full day at work. I know I said it earlier, but if an hour or (at most) two out of the house going food shopping is the exact same difficulty as a full day at work then you clearly have an easy job!

I couldn't believe how wiped I was for weeks after being really ill. I was in hospital for nearly 4 days so my employer didn't complain about me needing sick leave that week. Fortunately (for my employer) the rest of my recovery time fell in school holidays, but I would not have been able to work for those two weeks and I wouldn't have felt guilty for being able to go food shopping but unable to teach.

Ollivander84 · 04/02/2019 19:00

@anniehm I couldn't sit for longer than 45 minutes. Or bend or twist. But I could walk and was told to walk as much as I could so I built it up to 10km

Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 19:01

So by your reckoning I can get drunk or starve?

I don't know about you but I normally have enough in the house to survive for two days without starving. .

Dungeondragon15 · 04/02/2019 19:02

Are you As doctor dungeon. Because I have often been able to go out for a short time every day while still not being up to return to work.

With an acute virus?

AngelaHodgeson · 04/02/2019 19:02

dungeon, the woman has been off for 10 days. Very few people have enough food to last that long, and fresh food (the kind that's best when recovering from illness) wouldn't last that long.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 19:05

No biscuit, not the fact that you work in what you consider to be 'the real world' but your black and white view of sick leave.

And no, I don't 'throw sickies' unlike you, apparently.

OP posts:
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