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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being unfit for work doesn't mean unfit for anything.

181 replies

Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:01

A colleague has been certified as unfit for work for the last ten days or so having caught a nasty virus. She's due back in work on Wed. Another colleague saw her in the supermarket yesterday and is chuntering about it being 'disgraceful', 'abusing sick leave' etc.

I've pointed out that pottering around the shops and commuting to a full time job are two very different things but she doesn't seem to get it. AIBU to find this attitude annoying and silly?

OP posts:
AngelaHodgeson · 04/02/2019 14:28

was she shopping at normal pace, or struggling, hanging over her trolley and looked ill

The problem is, you can't tell by looking. When I was recovering from an operation, by the third week I was sick of being sick and determined to get on with stuff. I felt and looked absolutely fine. But within an hour or so of starting a task I'd need to sit down and rest.

Equally, when I had a similar problem (but not serious enough to need an operation) I was back at work after a week and felt fine. Must have looked terrible though because my (usually very harsh) headteacher came over to suggest I needed more time off as I didn't look ready to work.

StripeyChina · 04/02/2019 14:45

Unless you know the exact medical and home circumstances of the person it is not your business. The person most likely to be able to judge that is the GP/ HCP who signed off the person in the first place!

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 14:50

Someone doesn't have to be 'hanging over their trolley' to justify being in the supermarket while certified unfit for work.

OP posts:
toriap2 · 04/02/2019 14:55

I’m signed off work and my doctor has encouraged me to go out for a small walk or outing every day, and not to stay locked in. But there is no way I could do a day at work.

HowardSpring · 04/02/2019 14:58

By all means don't work - but it is the "full pay" that annoys people.

These people who are too sick to do a full days work would certainly not pay their decorator, hairdresser, child's tutor, cleaner etc for work not done. Yet they expect to be paid themselves.

Sick pay is good - we need it - but people take the piss.

HowardSpring · 04/02/2019 14:59

Oh and referral back to the GP-- A doctor can rarely say no if people insist on it. Especially if people say they feel too ill or stressed to work. How can a doctor "prove" someone is healthy - they can't.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 15:04

So Howard how do you suggest it be established whether someone is well enough to attend work?

OP posts:
Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 15:05

And the jobs you mentioned are in the self employed not salaried category.

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 04/02/2019 15:10

It's pathetic when people care so much about what other people are doing. Unless you are the person's manager then leave it alone. Tell your colleague to focus on her own life

HowardSpring · 04/02/2019 15:17

That's the point - a third party cannot establish whether someone can work or not. And that decision depends on the job and the need for money. We make the decisions ourselves every day as to whether we are well enough to do something or whether the effort is worth the payoff.

And the point about using self-employed examples is exactly that. People who are self employed are responsible for themselves and they make that decision. They are very rarely too sick to work. They know people don't pay you if you don't work. Some salaried people have lost any connection between work and money - and think the employer "owes" them. That's exactly the point.

AngelOfDeathNix · 04/02/2019 15:18

I was signed off work for nearly six months following injury to my leg. My job requires me to be on my feet and alert for 12.5 hours per day, not possible when I'm off my face on painkillers. However, I still have to take my children to school and do some food shopping, hell, I even met up with friends who took me out for a coffee as they saw me sink further into isolation and depression. One of my colleagues saw me out, at the park, with my children. She reported it to my manager, I was asked to explain myself and was told that I was a disgrace to abuse the system in such a way. I pointed out that I was seeing both the GP and practice nurse regularly and they were not happy for me to work, and if she would like to take her accusations further, I would like it in writing so that I can address it with my union rep.

MaiaRindell · 04/02/2019 15:19

A colleague of mine was off on long term sick leave for depression and anxiety. He was seen DJing in Ibiza on social media. That is taking the piss. Going to a supermarket isn't!

joanmcc · 04/02/2019 15:20

@howardspring - keep fighting the good fight. Rich employers thank you for your duty.

megletthesecond · 04/02/2019 15:22

Yanbu.
I'm a lone parent and have to do a few bits when I'm sick. Very different to a stressful day in the office.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 15:23

I think you'll find Howard that most people are honest and do not abuse sick leave.

Your views on how employees should be treated when I'll are quite depressing.

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 04/02/2019 15:24

Online shopping costs money. And you can't get everything.

If you are off sick, you need nourishing food and medicine to get better.

Your family still needs to eat (if you have one under your roof).

And getting a break from the 4 walls of your house after being in it more than 24 hours does help. Which might include getting a book from a library, or a magazine from a shop or something else to help entertain you while you can't physically get back to work or doing your usual activities etc. And you are RECOVERING!!!!

Recovery is not a miraculous "I was coughing up a lung an hour ago, and now I am totally better and ready to go back to work".

Instead, it is a process of gradual improvement in stages. And while you might be better than you were and able to start resuming normal living again, you may still need to recuperate fully, regain your strength, and take another few days before you get back to actual work - generally that is what Doctors recommend so that you go back in ready to get going again at 100% rather than needing to take MORE time off......

explodingkitten · 04/02/2019 15:26

I used to have a colleague who couldn't understand why someone going through chemo couldn't work parttime in the office. She was really horrible to people about it. Then her husband got terminal cancer. I wonder about Karma sometimes.

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 15:49

oh come on, you can't compare someone on long term sickness going through chemo, and someone having a 10 days sickie but being able to go shopping and for coffee.

And for the ones who are "stressed" you can't get rid of them too easily, but at least legally you don't have to pay them (full salary I mean).

colleague of mine was off on long term sick leave for depression and anxiety. He was seen DJing in Ibiza on social media. this is exactly what someone abusing the system does.

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 15:52

Carbosug I am a manager, and the last person who tried to take us to court after being sacked for abusing the sickness policy lost. They probably thought the threat of court would make us back down - clearly they were wrong on all account.

On the other hand, we have also been known at keeping on full pay someone who couldn't come in the office for several months for valid reasons. We just don't advertise that to avoid giving ideas to some people.

prettybird · 04/02/2019 16:00

So someone who is off sick for 10 days having caught a nasty bug is expected a) to have anticipated that they were going to be sick and got in 10 days worth of supplies and/or b) do without food even if they have children Confused

Soooooo glad you were not my manager. Hmm

OP: YADBNU

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 16:09

Well you sound like a shocking manager biscuit, calling someone who is certified by her doctor as being unfit for work as ' being on a Sickie'. That could get you into a lot of trouble where I work

OP posts:
Limensoda · 04/02/2019 16:13

These people who are too sick to do a full days work would certainly not pay their decorator, hairdresser, child's tutor, cleaner etc for work not done. Yet they expect to be paid themselves.Sick pay is good - we need it - but people take the piss

Do they take the piss?...really? I reckon very few do or get away with it. You can't compare with your hairdresser!

I'm afraid your view is the reason too many people go into work when they are sick. They are too scared to be off when they should.
Far more people are in work sick than off work taking the piss!
I hope you think employers are taking the piss when they expect you in early or stay late for no extra pay?
Or expecting you to deal with emails in your free time?

InfiniteCurve · 04/02/2019 16:17

I have a job which I have done self employed,I'm now employed.I am very rarely too sick to work but my employment status has nothing to do with whether I need to be at home in bed/staggering out to the shops and then going home to bed or not.If I'm well enough I'll go in,we all do cos we don't want to let anyone down.
Being self employed has advantages,being employed has advantages,one of those is (limited) sick pay.
And I have a customer facing job involving sometimes working straight through if there are urgent problems,which you can bet your life is what will happen if you go in ill thinking that if it's a quiet day you can probably hold it together,maybe.And I can give whatever I've got to vulnerable adults.
Working 9-7.30 and travelling time is not the same as getting round Tesco in 50 minutes and then going home to sleep,and you have problems if you think doing one means you can do the other.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 16:21

That's what worries me about biscuit. She cannot understand the very obvious difference between going to the local supermarket and doing a full day at work plus commute, yet has responsibility for staff. Not good.

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 04/02/2019 16:23

Of course she needs food, to go to the GP/chemist, wants some fresh air and exercise?!

I don't think you can always go straight from being sick to fit for work, sometimes you need to ''test''yourself first by leaving the house.

My colleague is off sick after having a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. She's currently with her elderly parents, who happen to live in Turkey. Good luck to her, I'd do the same, she just wants some TLC from her parents.

I'm keeping shtum on my husband's mate though, who went to Vegas a couple of weeks after a heart attack. My colleague is having some well deserved rest and recuperation, doubt you'd get that in Vegas!

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