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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being unfit for work doesn't mean unfit for anything.

181 replies

Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:01

A colleague has been certified as unfit for work for the last ten days or so having caught a nasty virus. She's due back in work on Wed. Another colleague saw her in the supermarket yesterday and is chuntering about it being 'disgraceful', 'abusing sick leave' etc.

I've pointed out that pottering around the shops and commuting to a full time job are two very different things but she doesn't seem to get it. AIBU to find this attitude annoying and silly?

OP posts:
Zoflorabore · 04/02/2019 19:06

My son's dad ( my exdp ) has recently returned to work after 3 months off with stress. He has worked there for over 20 years and had minimal days off for sickness.
He went on holiday for a week with his dw and other ds in early January ( my ds is in year 11 so couldn't go ) and he was summoned to a meeting in work after someone filled in a whistleblower form!

He had posted nothing on SM and hadn't spoke about it so was perplexed. He said the break did him the world of good and along with counselling he felt able to go back.
People can be so nasty :(
I don't defend him often but felt a bit sorry for him to be fair.

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 19:06

Yes dungeon when recovering from a virus.

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 04/02/2019 19:06

I've been in and out of hospital recently. I was advised to get up and walk around. And yes even go for walks off the ward when I was up to it. There's a supermarket around the corner and I will go in.
But I suppose really I'm just having a duvet day ffs. Doesn't matter I suppose that the 10-minute walk exhausts me and I sleep for a few hours afterwards. Or that the meds I get put on knacker me out and impact my concentration and memory.

At my last job I was signed off. I still had to leave the house for medical appointments. Yes, I was reported when some ass saw me near a pub. My manager laughed when he told me, knowing where I live and where my gp is - next to the pub lol. He sent out a work email reminding people to basically keep their noses out of other peoples health. I also had to leave home to go to work at times for a catch-up (cannot think what the actual name is). He also suggested some relaxing places to go on holiday.

AngelaHodgeson · 04/02/2019 19:12

Viruses can be really bad. You don't get signed off for two weeks with a bit of a cold!

My hospitalisation was tonsillitis. For a lot of people (and me in the past) that means a couple of days off. Same illness another time I was admitted via a&e HDU, needed IV painkillers, saline and antibiotics, then an operation cos the antibiotics didn't work and then two more days recovery in hospital. A normally minor illness which for some unknown reason hit particularly hard and it took three weeks from first being ill to being back at work. You can't judge unless you are either the ill person or their HCP.

mumsastudent · 04/02/2019 19:13

post open heart surgery you have to go for walks each day to retrain heart & you may be off for months- for mental health you may need as part of your treatment! to go out & do things like shopping & going to the gym. tell the work place gossip to mind her beeswax!

user1471453601 · 04/02/2019 19:15

I have some experience of being signed off sick, and still being, relativley , active.

I was diagnosed with an illness that had less than 20% survival after five years. Between diagnosis and prognosis was about three months. I decided that, because my job was stressful and senior, it would be unhelpful for me to go into work. My GP agreed, but advised me to keep busy, and be in company whenever I was able.

So, during those three months, I went out for lunch (often with friends/colleagues from work). I window shopped, I had (the proverbiable ) spa days etc.

I'm Quite sure that some people in my place of work (who.didnt know, or needed to know) the details of my health thought I was swinging the lead. Especially when I swaned into work looking fine, to meet up with my friends.

My point is, don't judge. Most people in the work place don't know (nor should they know) the details of other colleagues health issues.

mumsastudent · 04/02/2019 19:16

(ps 4 hourly iv treatment in hospital for df gets dressed & encouraged (bullied by nurses - nicely :) ) to go for walks in between - people are so ignorant the less they know the poor they think they do (Trump effect :) )

Ofalltheginjoints · 04/02/2019 19:17

When i had major surgery I was signed off work for 6 months in total, my consultant told me that in addition to physio I needed to try and increase the amount of walking I was doing but that I needed to be in a dry place to reduce the risk of slipping and to around people in case I did fall.

The only place I could think of that would fit those criteria was the local shopping centre as at the time I was single and my parents worked so couldn’t help on a day to day basis, I rang to discuss this with my boss at the time and I was in tears explaining to her as I didn’t want people to think I was taking the piss, to be fair to my boss she thought I was crazy to worry as the major surgery was a give away that I wasn’t faking and thought that it was a good idea.

Since becoming disabled I’ve dragged myself to work on days I really should’ve been at home resting because of the desire not to let people down due to my disability but I’m not doing myself any favours, when I was signed off sick for a 2 week period a colleague complained that I’d gone to the gym.....the same gym where my private physio was based.

In short you have no idea what is going on for the person who is off sick so butt out and stop being so judgemental, anything people can do to make themselves feel better (including getting meds etc from a supermarket) should be encouraged

Original poster
Carbosug · 04/02/2019 19:26

I am amazed at the number of people who go running around 'telling on' colleagues who are seen out and about while certified unfit for work.

What is wrong with these people?

OP posts:
prettybird · 04/02/2019 19:33

I'm fortunate: I live in inner city Glasgow. Plenty of corner shops and supermarkets. Smile And I have a dh if I am ill Grin

Where my dad lives, only just outside Glasgow, there is no shop in the hamlet. Nearest shop is 4 miles away and is a Tesco Extra. There are small shops close to it - but would actually involve more walking as they're in a pedestrianised area. Should someone who lives in that hamlet which is actually in a popular commuting area, as you have the benefits of the countryside but still have relatively easy access to Glasgow be "whistle blown" for having the effrontery of going to a supermarket to get supplies? Confused

Some people don't have a clue how/where other people live and apparently lack the imagination to consider that other people's circumstances might be different. Hmm

theworldistoosmall · 04/02/2019 19:35

They have nothing better to do. They cannot see past their own little world and say shite like well if it was me I would still go to work. Even when on 'bedrest' you are still advised to get up if you can to prevent dvt and also to help the healing process.

Silkyanduna · 04/02/2019 19:58

When I had a brain tumours removed I was signed off for at least 6 weeks. I was in hospital for a week and then at home for a week. After that I was out and about went to the garden Center for a bit or went out for lunch etc. But no way could o have managed a full shift. I needed a phased return to work ( which I didn’t get as had no support over but that a whole different matter) not fit for work doesn’t mean not fot for anything

OnBail · 04/02/2019 20:02

I don’t get sick pay at work. Last year I twisted my knee really badly and i couldn’t walk. No going round the supermarket, cinema etc as I couldn’t walk. I had a total of one day off work as I don’t get paid and couldn’t afford to be off. We had to cover reception, and even with my knee bandaged up, a knee support, dosed up on paracetamol and ibuprofen and stinking off muscle rub my colleagues still sat on their arse when a visitor came in and watched me hobble to reception.

I got a bollocking from the physio for going back to work too soon and not resting, I couldn’t afford not it. So no, I don’t pull sickies and duvet days as I can’t afford to.

Even when I worked for a company that paid full sick pay for up to six months I was rarely off sick. And if I was sick I was genuinely ill.

And yes, I still went to the supermarket to stock up on tissues meds etc.

Ifangyow · 04/02/2019 20:49

All these people who are wetting their Gus sets to tell their manager that they've seen a sick colleague out and about, shouldn't they be at work instead of spying on people?
I mean, they moan about having to pick up the slack for a sick colleague, but then find time to go out spying on people. 😐

hastingsmua1 · 04/02/2019 21:13

I also had surgery (gynae) and looked completely normal. The nurses even made comments about how I didn’t look like I just had surgery whilst I was being discharged.

I was signed off for a week to recover, but honestly felt full of energy and normal right after I woke from the anaesthetic. But however I looked (or came across to nosy colleagues at the supermarket!) I was in no fit state to get back to work whilst I was recovering from the GA; bleeding heavily; had difficultly walking/sitting (couldn’t even wear trousers!); had low blood pressure & felt absent minded etc.

SaturdayNext · 04/02/2019 23:54

If genuinely sick with a virus and unable to shop online most people would just visit a corner shop rather than drive miles to a supermarket.

Surely that only applies, Dungeon, if you have a corner shop that is (a) nearer than the supermarket and (b) stocks what you need. You can't assume either is a given.

theworldistoosmall · 05/02/2019 00:51

If genuinely sick with a virus and unable to shop online most people would just visit a corner shop rather than drive miles to a supermarket.

My supermarket is about a 5-minute walk. The corner shop is about 10 minutes. Must remember to walk to the Cornershop tomorrow instead, don't want people to get the wrong idea if I walk into the supermarket.

silvercuckoo · 05/02/2019 06:39

Some jobs, of course, have to wait until the person is 100% in shape before returning. As ambulance driving mentioned previously.
For many jobs there is no reason why they cannot be done remotely once the worst period is over. If someone was signed off with work stress and then went out for a coffee or shopping, I probably would have a chat with HR.

Ollivander84 · 05/02/2019 07:26

@silvercuckoo Hmm why? Work stress - helpful to have a coffee with a friend, nothing to stop you going shopping. The whole point is in the words. Work. Stress.
I've been signed off before with antenatal depression and met up with friends, I didn't want to but the counsellor wanted me not sat at home on my own

Ollivander84 · 05/02/2019 07:27

And none of my jobs have ever been able to be done remotely - ambulance dispatch, customer service, carer

Original poster
Carbosug · 05/02/2019 08:44

Would you really cuckoo? Even though you would have no idea what was wrong with the person or no managerial responsibility for them,? How sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carbosug · 05/02/2019 08:47

Oh sorry I zee you specified stress. That makes it even worse and if I was in HR it would be you I would have doubts about it you did that.

OP posts:
Myusernameismud · 05/02/2019 08:49

Wow cuckoo that's a shitty thing to do.
I was off with work stress, because my job was incredibly stressful. My life wasn't though, and I could manage my day to day life when I was off. When I'd been working, I came home and went straight to bed because it made me physically and mentally ill. When I was signed off, I continued to go about the rest of my life as usual. As recommended by my GP.

User12879923378 · 05/02/2019 08:53

The reason people come into work ill, make stupid mistakes and give everyone else their lurgy is this mistaken belief that if you are able to get out of bed for anything at all you are fit to carry out your job.

sashh · 05/02/2019 09:07

I was signed off for 2 months at one point. I was living in hospital accommodation and no family for a couple of hundred miles.

I was phoned because I was 'seen', I pointed out that I had no one to do any shopping and that the person who saw me might have been better off offering to help me shop, collect a prescription or even just check how I was doing.