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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being unfit for work doesn't mean unfit for anything.

181 replies

Carbosug · 04/02/2019 13:01

A colleague has been certified as unfit for work for the last ten days or so having caught a nasty virus. She's due back in work on Wed. Another colleague saw her in the supermarket yesterday and is chuntering about it being 'disgraceful', 'abusing sick leave' etc.

I've pointed out that pottering around the shops and commuting to a full time job are two very different things but she doesn't seem to get it. AIBU to find this attitude annoying and silly?

OP posts:
drspouse · 05/02/2019 09:25

I don’t get sick pay at work.
Really? Are you in the UK, and employed?

silvercuckoo · 05/02/2019 09:30

If work gives you so much stress, I think a sensible approach would be to resign and find something less stressful / more suitable. Did it myself a couple of times. Yes, of course I meant my direct reports / employers only, not spying on a random work colleague. But I am from a different universe, it never stops surprising me how socialist the UK is compared to the rest of the world.

Dungeondragon15 · 05/02/2019 09:35

My supermarket is about a 5-minute walk. The corner shop is about 10 minutes. Must remember to walk to the Cornershop tomorrow instead, don't want people to get the wrong idea if I walk into the supermarket.

If the supermarket is only 5 minutes away you can just shop online or ask a friend/neighbour to get food if sick with an acute virus. Why would you visit the shop and potentially infect everyone? Don't you think that a bit selfish?

Ollivander84 · 05/02/2019 09:43

@silvercuckoo for me it was that I wasn't able to be at work and handle emotional/stressful calls while dealing with my own feelings. You would often find if someone's relative died, a CPR call would bring it back. Or a baby in cardiac arrest. You have to be very emotionally switched off to take those

silvercuckoo · 05/02/2019 09:46

That makes it even worse and if I was in HR it would be you I would have doubts about it you did that.
HR are there for these types of issues too, to put a formal distance and facilitate a dialogue between the company and the employee. What kind of doubts would you have if I came to you and said - listen, this new hire X in my team, she's been signed off with 'stress' within three months of joining but her Facebook says she's gone volunteering abroad, with inspirational photos posted each day. I have to split her work between two remaining people, one is a single parent with a disabled child and cannot take any overtime, and one is a workaholic but even she starts resenting all the extra hours she has to do. I myself have been putting two to three unpaid overtime hours a day to plug the gap, and my childcare bill for that is £xxx. We don't have extra budget for temp staff. Do you think we could possibly investigate if anyone in this team is taking the piss?

silvercuckoo · 05/02/2019 09:50

for me it was that I wasn't able to be at work and handle emotional/stressful calls while dealing with my own feelings.
I said in my first message that there totally are jobs and positions where this is the case. I was referring to my own situation and other similar jobs that are digital-clerical in nature.

grannieanne · 05/02/2019 10:00

Happened to me recently...signed off with pneumonia and a collapsed lung for 3 blocks of 3 weeks. Manager's Manager who has a mutual friend in FB hauled me into a meeting after she saw a pic of me at a friend's 50th birthday party via our mutual friend. I explsined that I went for an hour as that was as much as I could manage and went home and slept for 12 hours. I 'politely' explained I was signed off from work, not life itself... and have now raised a grievance..

theworldistoosmall · 05/02/2019 10:04

silvercuckoo Not everyone who is signed off is infectious. Not everyone has neighbours that are trusting. Not everyone can get deliveries to their door, hence I don't always bother as I still have to carry them upstairs.

Original poster
Carbosug · 05/02/2019 10:05

Silver cuckoo you said of you saw someone signed off with work related stress 'having coffee or shopping' you would report, not volunteering abroad.
What do you think someone off work with stress should be doing? Cowering under a duvet? Lying on the sofa mindlessly watching repeats of Midsomer murders? Or out engaging with people and getting work issues back into perspective?

OP posts:
Sakura7 · 05/02/2019 10:32

silvercuckoo
Well aren't you a delight?

What exactly do you not get about "work related stress" being work related? If someone is being bullied by their manager and needs time away from work, how does going for a coffee with a friend affect their work situation in any way? And why should that person resign and lose their income when its the employer that failed in its duty of care?

recklessruby · 05/02/2019 10:58

This makes me mad. Why don't people mind their own business?
Back when dd was 13 I had an afternoon cleaning job but with an ear and throat infection was on antibiotics and feeling shit so called in sick.
Got moaned at by the manager the next shift as some gossipy bitch I worked with had seen me walking to my car to pick dd up from school. I m a single parent and she had a large art project to carry home.
I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't covered her many times so she could be off with period pain. Angry

Polarbearflavour · 05/02/2019 12:12

Imagine being the sad sack who reports on colleagues. Pathetic.

Someone will be along to say that they went into work 6 hours after having major surgery and still attached to an IV and just took paracetamol and “manned up.”

joanmcc · 05/02/2019 12:49

Why do we repeatedly pander and give attention in threads like this to people whose "careers" are at a dead end so they just post fantasist bullshit about how "tough" they would be on their underlings if they were in any position of authority? Just nod and move on.

BlackberryandNettle · 05/02/2019 12:51

At the supermarket is hardly an abuse of sick leave - you still need to eat! The critical colleague sounds like a prat.

TooManyPaws · 05/02/2019 13:31

Last time I had a long period of sick leave, I went out with friends and even went to a Sunday Market. Mind you, I was on crutches with a turkey skewer sticking out of the bone of my foot....

I got signed off by the surgeon to go back to work but had to wait to see the Occupational Health doctor so I was fit for work but the organisation's insurance wouldn't cover me until then. Should I just have defied them just to prove that I wasn't "pulling a sickie"? Confused

Kannet · 05/02/2019 13:35

I was signed off for a month with pregnancy complications a few years ago. A colleague saw me outside my drs office and said funny to see me out and about, thought you where sick.... my boss found it funny

theworldistoosmall · 05/02/2019 13:56

And many people use supermarkets for top-ups. Don't know how I would have got the stuff delivered today as it was less than twenty quid including electric top-up.

Some people are really clueless.

Sadly some aren't delusional and really do treat their 'underlings' in such ways. Why? Because quite honestly they are nasty fuckers in general and treat people like shit. And in their delusional world, they are perfectly fine and it's the underlings that have problems. There's always threads on here about nasty managers who like to belittle their staff, one of the reasons why I will never work for anyone again.

OnBail · 05/02/2019 14:05

Not sure if that was aimed at me but no I don’t get sick pay. I can claim SSP but you have to be off for a week to claim it. There is no payments for 1 or 2 days. So you are at a financial disadvantage for trying to get back to work quicker.

Glitterblue · 05/02/2019 14:24

I was signed off for a few weeks from a very stressful job which involved a 2 hour commute and long days. My doctor herself told me that one of the best things I could do during this time was put my trainers on and go for a long walk every day, don't even think about where I'm going, just start walking and see where I ended up. I was pretty glad I lived so far from work because I know how people can judge. It's ridiculous though, you don't need to be housebound even off with a virus, as others have said you need to get food and medicine etc

lilyblue5 · 05/02/2019 14:57

@Kannet outside the drs office! Some people are unbelievably thick ConfusedSad
Glad your boss had a sensible head’

TitOfTheIceberg · 05/02/2019 15:23

I hope all the nasty little people on here who would go running to HR or a manager if they saw a colleague off sick come down with the worst case of anal abscesses known to man. Unless you are that person's doctor, fuck off and keep your poisonous little nose out of other people's business.

(And no, unlike judgy biscuit I don't pull sickies, in fact I haven't had a day's sickness in two years...but I do have empathy, and more faith in the ability of a member of the medical profession to judge when someone is or isn't fit for work than that of Gossipy Marge from Accounts.)

marvellousnightforamooncup · 05/02/2019 15:43

Well said Titoftheiceberg. 👏👏👏

Mummylife2018 · 05/02/2019 17:01

@recklessruby Shock What did your employer say? How did it turn out? X

Idonotsetanalarmformyteen · 05/02/2019 18:04

But yes, if you can bother going shopping, there's no valid reason why you can't go to work

Ludicrous remark.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/02/2019 18:09

If a doctor has signed someone as unfit for work, then they are unfit for work.

Colleague needs to be professional and keep her gob shut