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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this personal question?.....

345 replies

pppers · 03/02/2019 20:52

To ask how many people you've slept with?

I had DS young and have only slept with 1 other person other than DP.
A friend made a light hearted comment about do I not feel like I've missed out, and I feel bad to say it resonated with me.

AIBU to feel sad that 2 might be my lifetime number??

OP posts:
HettyStThomas · 03/02/2019 21:24

1, I met my DH as a teenager

Pfnb · 03/02/2019 21:24

Would you feel happier if you had shagged 200, rather than having been intimate with 2 people you loved?
Quality, not quantity.
And, if you so decided, as you've chosen "slept with", rather than "had loving relationships with", if it's making you sad, couldn't you fairly easily make that 12 by the end of the month?
Good for you, I say, for being selective.

lanbro · 03/02/2019 21:25

Between 30-40, was mainly single for all my 20s, now getting divorced late 30s so expect the number to increase...!

Unbearablecollies · 03/02/2019 21:25

6 - my DH and I have been together for nearly 30 years and I am more than happy and hope he will be my last and only for the rest of my days. I know I'm very lucky and grateful.

Biancadelriosback · 03/02/2019 21:26

Around 25 I think. I have to try and remember them all. At least 3 I don't actually remember their names. Choices I made. I don't regret any of them (except the one which ended with me in hospital)

Haisuli · 03/02/2019 21:26

About 10 or maybe 12 if you count the ones I'd rather forget. Been with my husband for 17 years.now, quite happy never to have sex with anyone else again

TokyoSushi · 03/02/2019 21:26

6 all in my late teens before I met DH at 20

WhatTheNightBrings · 03/02/2019 21:27

15, I think.
I'm mid-30s and haven't had sex for around 8 years.

firefirefire · 03/02/2019 21:27

About 18 I think

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/02/2019 21:28

2

BlackType · 03/02/2019 21:29

Nearly 50, and on my third. I started at 21. Had a 20 yr marriage in between. I am a bit picky. Have not questioned DP closely, as his past is irrelevant to where we are now (as is mine).

tartandreams · 03/02/2019 21:31

1

DragonMamma · 03/02/2019 21:31

I’m not entirely certain but it’s somewhere around 40 odd. May be nearer 50.

I’m mid 30s so it was only a handful a year in my early days. I loved the thrill of the chase more than the sex back then though Blush

PlansNotDreams · 03/02/2019 21:32

Just DH. Friends since primary school and together since we were 16 almost 20 years ago. No regrets.

TheFormidableMrsC · 03/02/2019 21:33

12 I think. Regretted several of them. Current FWB is the most fun and no committment, suits us both and has done for several years. I am nearly 50, divorced. I envy those who have found a life partner and only been with eachother. It is definitely quality, not quantity and there is nothing worse than regret sex in my view. As long as you are happy and fulfilled, then that is the most important thing!

KipperTheFrog · 03/02/2019 21:33
  1. one of which wasn’t a long term relationship.
Quality over quantity every time!
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 03/02/2019 21:34

Just the one, my husband, wouldn't have it any other way.

BrightStarrySky · 03/02/2019 21:35

Only 2 for proper penetration. One of them is my husband. No regrets. I love him.

littlemissalwaystired · 03/02/2019 21:35

15, pretty much all in my college years. Met DP when 19 and still together. No regrets, everything happens for a reason and leads you to where you're meant to be.

Missingstreetlife · 03/02/2019 21:36

What do you think you are missing op? Your relationship now is what matters. If it needs attention sort it out, if you are not happy, leave. Don't hanker after something that may not have been as good or exciting as you imagine. It's easy to have an affair but it probably won't make you feel good, and may do some damage. Be happy.

Neverender · 03/02/2019 21:37

I have a list! 15! I remember every single one and regret maybe 2. I was in a relationship for 6yrs from 16-22 and then moved to London and had a LOT of fun. Then found a DH. I feel lucky.

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 03/02/2019 21:39

I'm 34 and slept with 5 people, feel a bit like I've missed out at times but don't regret it not being loads either 🤷‍♀️

Purplecatshopaholic · 03/02/2019 21:41

Not enough! Now OH has cheated and been dumped I am hoping for quite a few more!

smileylottie87 · 03/02/2019 21:41

Clocking in at 2 here. I did think perhaps I missed out on some experiences but I am genuinely happy. Each to their own, that's just how life worked out for me. I think we can all spend time lamenting what could have been, but at the end of the day if you are happy with your life then the experiences you have had led you to this point, a random encounter could have sent you down a different path entirely. Don't feel sad for what could have been, be happy for what you have.

OrcinusOrca · 03/02/2019 21:43

Four. The first one was childhood sexual abuse. I never know if I should say three or four...

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