To ask this personal question?.....

[pppers]

To ask how many people you've slept with?

I had DS young and have only slept with 1 other person other than DP.
A friend made a light hearted comment about do I not feel like I've missed out, and I feel bad to say it resonated with me.

AIBU to feel sad that 2 might be my lifetime number??

I think about 9.

You haven't missed out ppprs, honestly you haven't, except when it comes to counting. If the people you slept with loved or at least respected you and didn't make you feel like an old boot afterwards that's really all that matters.

@JustTeeth wow - that's interesting!!

I've been with my DH for almost 24 years (faithful!) and sometimes I wonder about this. But what if one of you falls in love?

If I see a guy I find attractive enough to have sex with (which only happens about once every three years), I'd imagine I'd fall for them really hard if we had an affair.

There's a swingers scene in our city involving the parents from two junior schools - I apparently know some of the people involved but no one will squeak on who they are!

1 - DH. When I went to the sexual health clinic once for contraception the nurse there filling out my questionnaire was too. She didn't have a box on her form for that.

What a diverse range of responses. I have responded once; well into double figures and it has been passionate and fun. In fact there have neen people I said no to that, on reflection, I wish I had said yes.

I am posting again, because I would like to comment on the wider picture. I do have concerns about some of the attitudes here, which seem to suggest that sex is something given by a woman to a man! Sex should be shared and sex should be fun.

As for comments about “lost virginty”, why the negative terminology. We lost nothing. We gained womanhood.

Same as cook, only one person ( dh)
However, I have been thought of as a bit weird not to have slept with anyone else.
I sometimes do regret it , but it is what it is.

I am quite interested in the negative perception of marrying a partner who is a virgin. For me, the fact that he wanted to have committed to me for life before we took that step and then he priority became how to pleasure me( not based on anyone else) was a big advantage. It also meant that whilst many people are getting a bit take it or leave it about sex, we had a proper ' honeymoon period' where we made love daily up until the day my first child was born and I was pregnant again 3 months after she was born. For us, I can see no negatives, only positives.

vdbfamily

That's great- glad it worked for you.

We are all different however I like the idea of bringing new plates to the buffet though- I am glad that he had sexual experience before me, I feel our sex life is richer as a result.

Humans vary in their sexual responses, it has been interesting for me over the years to see the differences ( and similarities) that we all have.

I suppose when i was young in the 80s, it was just seen as the norm to sleep around and have ONS and all the rest of it. I have only ever told one person in real life that i have only ever slept with one person and she found it amusing! i would hazard a guess most people would.
my dh wasnt a virgin when we met and even he was a bit bemused by my lack of experience - i guess i just never found the right person or was scared and a bit frigid , not that comfortable about any of it.
these days i would have looked it all up on the internet or got some help, but i didnt back then!
It is a bit of a hang up of mine to be honest.

23.... I had a wild youth 😂 Don’t regret it.

@JustPoppingOut I won't deny that's a particular fear for me (DH a bit more relaxed) so we talk about it a lot. The key protective factor I guess is the fact that everything is shared. We're not just going off and doing our thing, we're doing it together if that makes sense (not physically haha but in terms of the journey). In fact our enjoyment in it is contingent on the other person being happy, on-board with the situation with a full understanding of exactly what is happening. We're both honest enough with each other that I'm pretty certain we would talk before something reached the point of full blown being in love with someone. We kind of keep each other in check really.

And there's no real protection from your partner falling for someone else even in a monogamous relationship. In fact I think if you develop feelings for someone else that you can't share then they probably have more power and potential to be very intense.

3 people. I think. 3 or 4.

2, and my only regret is that it isn't just one (my DH). But then I suppose I wouldn't appreciate how great our sex life is if I didn't have anything to compare it to!

Mid-teens I think. Most of them I regret to be honest. I think the ideal (old fashioned as it seems) is just with one special person during marriage. I wish I hadn’t lost my virginity so young, and once you’ve taken that step it’s harder to go back to more innocent relationships.
Haven’t been with anyone since my marriage broke up 5 years ago, and don’t really miss it.

I have been sneered at by the more promiscuous because mine work out on average one every ten years. Only one was any good in bed, surprisingly he was the least functional as he had real problems.

I think sexual attraction is fairly inexorable. It is really drug like at its most intense. I believe that a lot of this has to do with the chemistry of how someone smells. That is all I know. He smelled beautiful. But he wasn't a good person, or kind.

1. No regrets. Don’t feel I’ve missed out.

11

But 10 of them were before the age of 20 when I met DH.

Me 18
DH 1

Very different answers but we are very happy together and neither have regrets about too many or too few as we are happy NOW.

8 and 3 of those are not worth counting....

2 i met DH at 19 now 30 before him i was with my ex for 4 years. I always get asked if i feel like I've missed out and no i don't at all. I talk to friends who've done the walk of shame or are known as easy or slags down our village local and I'd be mortified to be referred to like that. I have very good regular sex with DH i know him he knows me so sex is far better and much more passionate than what it would be with some random

People who call women 'slags' or 'easy' - says far more about them than the woman they're talking about.