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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this personal question?.....

345 replies

pppers · 03/02/2019 20:52

To ask how many people you've slept with?

I had DS young and have only slept with 1 other person other than DP.
A friend made a light hearted comment about do I not feel like I've missed out, and I feel bad to say it resonated with me.

AIBU to feel sad that 2 might be my lifetime number??

OP posts:
Nanalisa60 · 04/02/2019 20:58

How long is a piece of string!! I remember the first and the last the bit in the middle is a bit of a blur!!

Lotsofluv · 04/02/2019 21:04

I only said about bumping into them at the school
Gate as there is a couple of mums at my my school that have to do this 🤦‍♀️... they feel mortified and I’m glad it’s not something I have to do 😀

Lotsofluv · 04/02/2019 21:08

I Do Not have to
Do 🤦‍♀️😂

GirlFliesHome · 04/02/2019 21:09
  1. 3 of them were a mistake.
todayiwin · 04/02/2019 21:09

I've lost count. Atrocious behaviour on my part.

I wish I was just 2

GirlFliesHome · 04/02/2019 21:10

Oh, I should add.... 3 of them were a mistake, but I don't regret it.

They made me realise how great DH is.:)

SachaStark · 04/02/2019 21:20

1, DH. I've never thought about it as a potentially negative thing until I read this post. We've been together since before I went to uni, and I've never felt the need to sleep with anyone else. I think I would be terrified now to be with somebody different and have to work out what he liked, and how he can please me!

Proseccoagain · 04/02/2019 21:22

4, the last one being DH, but I regret numbers 2 and 3, they were sort of on the rebound from my first.

OnesieWarrior · 04/02/2019 21:24

26 men and 1 woman.
Only one I wish I’d never gone near.
Only one I’ve ever really had amazing sex with (sadly not my DH Sad)

Begrateful · 04/02/2019 21:29

Maybe less than 20 which led to some very treasured memories.😏

Furrycushion · 04/02/2019 21:32

How do people have the opportunity (or the time) to sleep with so many people? I've been in a relationship for 30 years so I can see that this has limited me, but even before then there were only 3 or 4 others.

needsleepzzz · 04/02/2019 21:33

13, inc one long term BF and my now husband

LouH1981 · 04/02/2019 21:34
  1. Been with my hubby for 20 years (we met when I was 17). The other three were definitely the frogs before the prince. I’m happy.
CammieKennaway · 04/02/2019 21:35

4 (and I'm almost 42)
I don't regret not having more.

Mondaytiredeyes · 04/02/2019 21:37

Met my DH when I was 22, I was wild between ages 15-22........ I reckon around 30 but I lost count and can’t really remember.
I told my now DH a figure that was highly inaccurate when we were first dating!

macblank · 04/02/2019 21:41

In one night, or grand total? lol

Five, in total. All of them years apart from the other! That's also the grand total of GFs that I've had since I was about 15.

My fiancee (first ever fiancee) and I haven't actually had of full sex, due to floppycocky due to spinal damage and a total lack of testosterone. The specialist said recently, either one of your conditions could cause this, along with many of your extra strong pain killers. Each in their own right can ruin things, but add them all up, and you're buggered!

So, going back to your question, I've only had full sex with 4 ladies.

vdbfamily · 04/02/2019 21:44

Just my husband and I am really glad. We did not meet until our 30's and both had not slept with anyone as wanted our partner for life to be the only one. Did not sleep or live together until our honeymoon and are very happy. No exes to contend with, no broken hearts, no comparisons to make, just happy with each other.

celticprincess · 04/02/2019 21:47

Only 2. My ex husband and an ex boyfriend. I was late to the party with sex despite my mother putting me on the pill she 15 as she was convinced I was sleeping with a boyfriend who I wasn’t.

I’ve been single quite a few years now since my divorce and other people are concerned about the fact I’ve not had sex since we split. Really doesn’t bother me. But it also make me nervous about dating again.

slashlover · 04/02/2019 21:50

Would you be comfortable bumping into these men you hardly knew but had good sex with round your child’s school?...
This is when I think it’s good not to Have had lots of different partners , can you imagine if there was more than one of them you had to face at the school gate. I would feel sorry for your current partner/husband as well as your child if this was the case

Two consenting people had sex, you're acting like they should be ashamed for having a sex life before meeting their current partner. Why would you feel sorry for the child, assuming they could act like the adults they are?

WickedWitchOfTheWest83 · 04/02/2019 22:05

Well over 100! Only 2 in the past 10yrs (I’m 35) so I was very busy when I was young... although I was sexually abused as an early teen by a few family friends (my parents had no idea and it was dealt with once found out - although way too late to stop the damage) and I dealt with it the best way I knew how, which was by abusing my own body. I have many regrets, some awful memories, a few good ones and a few amazing ones lol. Eventually I came to terms with everything and am happy, grounded and have a great sex life with my wonderful partner and I can’t imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life... in fact the thought makes me feel sick!

Sickoffamilydrama · 04/02/2019 22:16

@slashlover couldn't agree more, why on earth would you be worried/embarrassed about seeing an old lover? And why would it be upsetting for your husband/partner?
I've seen old lovers when I've been out with my husband & kids you know what happened I said hi how are you, no one imploded, I didn't turn to my children and tell them how we fucked like rabbits when we were 17 and the kids didn't lose their innocence by seeing an ex boyfriend of mine!

VanGoghsDog · 04/02/2019 22:41

How do people have the opportunity (or the time) to sleep with so many people?

Each one only takes a couple of hours, at most.

Opportunity, you know that internet thing......easy to meet men on that to shag.

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 04/02/2019 22:45

4 but regret 2.

Herefortheduration · 04/02/2019 23:13

30-40, regret none, I’d have to think about them for that. I’m in my 50’s now and have only been with my husband in 20 years. I ’t see any of them on s regular basis now as I didn’t live here then but I have a few as fb friends, I wouldn’t be embarrassed though, the thought makes me laugh, why on earth would I be embarrassed? I’m an adult fgs

Bambini12 · 04/02/2019 23:20

I don’t know the exact number, somewhere between 20 and 30, both men and women.

Less than 5 have been truly incredible.

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