Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy a wedding gift?

139 replies

Mentalhealthworries · 03/02/2019 17:44

We’ve been invited to a wedding this spring. It’s a couple in their 40s (second marriage for both). Would you buy a wedding gift? They don’t have a list and have said it’s presence not presents. The wedding is in a small country hotel and we’ve been given a room paid by them for the night. I’m not sure as they don’t have a gift list?? What do you think, would AIBU to turn up without gift?

OP posts:
MotorcycleMayhem · 03/02/2019 17:45

A nice bottle of bubbles would be likely to be well received. We said no gifts, and meant it, but we really enjoyed the bottles of plonk that people gave us and saved the really fancy stuff for nice nights or special occasions.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 03/02/2019 17:46

My DP and I are getting married and have also said no presents. We really only want to see our friends and family and don't want presents at all.

If that's what they've said, I'd stick to it. If you really don't feel you can go without a present, maybe some money in a card and they can choose what to do with it.

DianaBlythe · 03/02/2019 17:47

If you wanted to get something maybe a nice bottle of wine/champagne or vouchers for a meal +/- offers of babysitting if that would be needed/appreciated.

Youknowmedontyou · 03/02/2019 17:48

Champagne or wine would be a nice touch.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/02/2019 17:48

I think yabu.

I could never turn up empty handed.

misskatamari · 03/02/2019 17:50

i'd take a card and a token something - lovely bottle of champagne/their favourite drink etc?

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 03/02/2019 17:50

I would take them at their word, but I'd probably do what PP have said and get them some bubbly if I knew them really well. If you do decide to get them a present, make it something that they can use up, don't get them something that'll clutter up their house. They've probably got everything they need.

Surfingtheweb · 03/02/2019 17:50

I would buy a gift, I'd get them something Mr & Mrs "name" est 2019

You can get loads of lovely stuff with it on, solid wood chopping boards etc. It's the stuff you don't think of but is so nice to have after the wedding.

Birdsgottafly · 03/02/2019 17:51

I'd put money in a card, or if you know what they drink then a bottle of something.

DorothyZbornak · 03/02/2019 17:51

I think the fact that they've paid for the room, you should probably get them something. As some others posters have said you can't go far wrong with a nice bottle of bubbly or maybe something like a box of Leonidas.

ChristmasSnow · 03/02/2019 17:53

I would get them something, especially if they had paid for a room for me.

A meal voucher to a local restaurant maybe. You can get deals on groupon or wowcher... Otherwise champagne / flowers / chocolates, sent to their room...

AfterSchoolWorry · 03/02/2019 17:53

You definitely have to bring a gift. Especially as they're paying for your room!

It would be really rude not to.

HeckyPeck · 03/02/2019 17:55

I think the fact that they've paid for the room, you should probably get them something.

Same here. I’d be embarrassed to turn up empty handed after they’d paid for a room for me.

Unless you can’t afford anything at all.

FigandVanilla · 03/02/2019 17:56

I would - it’s just a nice thing to do

TokyoSushi · 03/02/2019 17:56

Yes, you really should get something, champagne or similar if no list.

Honeyroar · 03/02/2019 17:58

I'm surprised you'd even consider going empty handed when they've even paid for the room for you. I'd get a voucher for a nice restaurant or afternoon tea, or a good bottle of champagne.

billybagpuss · 03/02/2019 17:59

I really couldn't turn up with nothing. Do you know any of the other guests, could you club together and get them a weekend away spa hotel or similar?

CalmdownJanet · 03/02/2019 17:59

Of course you give a gift, you wouldn't show up to someones house for dinner without something for the host, you wouldn't go to a birthday party or any other occasion with nothing, a wedding is no different. Second wedding is irrelevant

PoutySprout · 03/02/2019 18:00

I would buy a gift, I'd get them something Mr & Mrs "name" est 2019

Hell of an assumption there.

Redtartanshoes · 03/02/2019 18:01

Yes. You need to take something. Champagne dinner voucher gin or something.

Chingling · 03/02/2019 18:01

Not afternoon tea- in the real non mumsnet world afternoon tea is not a thing (well it is a thing of hell)

John Lewis vouchers (can use at Waitrose) or cash. £100 minimum.

I would buy a gift, I'd get them something Mr & Mrs "name" est 2019

The total gift from hell- can't send it to the charity shop- cant regift it. Bin is the only option. I have to say the chopping board burnt well in the woodburner.

PoutySprout · 03/02/2019 18:02

It's the stuff you don't think of but is so nice to have after the wedding.

If we’d been given something like that it would have been passed on to DH’s parents as it would not have related to us at all.

CallMeVito · 03/02/2019 18:04

it would feel horribly rude to turn up empty handed at a wedding. I wouldn't spend more on a gift because the wedding is more expensive, but it wouldn't occur to me not to give something.

If they really haven't got a list, how well do you know them? If you are close, you know what they like and what to give ( rare edition book, some decent kitchen gadget, something to do with holidays, tickets to a special place, who knows it totally depends on the couple). Otherwise you can't go wrong with vouchers.

wombatsears · 03/02/2019 18:07

I'm surprised you'd even consider going empty handed when they've even paid for the room for you

Exactly what I thought. That’s so rude. So yes, YABU

Readytogogogo · 03/02/2019 18:09

I think it's very generous of them to pay for your room, so I would certainly feel embarrassed not to buy a gift.

Swipe left for the next trending thread