Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.

[FacebookFeud]

I know I'm not being unreasonable, 99% sure of it, but I'm losing my mind over the incredulous nature of this. I'm dumbstruck that this is an issue and need advice.

I had a falling out with a relative on my husband's side. I shared a meme about enjoying solitude and liking my own company and they thought it was targeted at them, I explained that it wasn't but they weren't having it. I ignored their behaviour because honestly I was baffled that a grown adult would read that into someone's post let alone accuse them of it to their face.

I subsequently placed that person on restricted to avoid future arguments. I don't like Facebook drama, or this sort of drama in general and have no time for it, so I did this to ensure it wouldn't happen again.

They have found out I've done this and gone bazerk. Calling me childish, rude, that I'm picking on them, that I hate them.

I really hate this sort of thing. Short of deleting my entire profile, which I don't see why I should have to do, I don't know how to resolve this without that person being offended.

Were they not a relative of my husband's I'd tell them to sod off. I've never met adults like this!

Because it's childish to be so self centered to assume it's all about you.

There’s no need to hide all your memes from her though. She took offence at one that looked very much like it was aimed at her. You could have just said ‘Sorry I just shared it because I’m really introverted - I didn’t even make the connection about declining your invitation’.
Restricting her looks like you’re either trying to say she takes offence too easily (no indication of that if this is the only post she has taken offence at) or that you will continue to share memes about your interactions with her but just make sure she can’t see them. That is why people are saying that restricting her has inflamed things rather than made them better. I realise this probably wasn’t your intention.
You said earlier in the thread that you don’t want to have to consider whether people will think your posts are aimed at them before posting. If that’s the case then I think you need to accept the inevitable consequence that people will sometimes be pissed off as a result of the things you post. It doesn’t really take much effort to think - have I declined an invitation from anyone in the past few days? Maybe I shouldn’t post this then.

It’s all about the timing and you know it. Unless you are being deliberately obtuse it seems incredible you can’t see it.

It’s like if you had posted the Christmas dinner one right after you ruined Christmas dinner.

If you don’t like drama on Facebook, don’t cause it. And if you do, at least own it.

If any of you were adults you would have come off Facebook. The whole thing is childish on both sides. Just all grow up a little

By the way YABU

I'm with you op. Two of my fave memes in agreement.

It’s childish to post daft memes too.

Pork I did say that. She still insisted on being offended hence why I hid the posts because I assumed this indicated she would take offence in the future.

Eve think I've posted the first one before

Do you really not teach about resilience if you read something offensive? You only teach report?
I mentioned report regarding feeling unsafe online. If a child isn't feeling safe online or is feeling threatened then report is absolutely the right response.
Better to report cyber bullying or creepy messages than to tell them to get over it an not be so precious.

We do talk to students about resilience as part of a general value and getting through life, but our online PSHE for social media places an emphasis on not being knobs in the first place rather than 'people have every right to be knobs so don't get offended'.

The shares like 'a real friend...' aren't offensive (just like the OP's isn't), but they are passive aggressive and passive aggressive sharing is unsurprisingly the sort of thing that causes drama. Teenagers lacking common sense on that front makes sense. Grown adults should know better and not stubbornly decide 'but I like sharing...'

I think it more likely indicated that she didn’t believe it was an accident. Why would it indicate that she would take offence at future memes that have nothing to do with her?

Pork because if she's done it once over something quite minor then it shows she's willing to engage and that she has the thought process of looking for offence, reading too much into things and thinking it's all a conspiracy

Okay, OP, you’re not going to see the other person’s viewpoint here at all I reckon, so just carry on as you like.

Surely you could just take the extra 5 seconds before posting a meme to consider whether it could seem like a dig at someone?
Much easier than having to consider people’s feelings in a real time conversation as there isn’t generally any time pressure when posting a meme.

99% of the people on this thread have said they would have considered your post as aimed at them. Does that honestly indicate she reading too much into things or that you could perhaps be a little more sensitive?

MaisyPops and when these issues kick off in a class and everyone is crying and complaining what do you say?

Well yes you have every right to be offended. You certainly have a point Julie did post that passive aggressive post and I can see why your upset. I would be upset if I was you.

Of course you don't, you teach resilience. It's just a shame adults don't have those resilience skills.

I shouldn't have to on my own profile.

A local shitty parent with a really rotten, nasty little kid got pissy with me because she assumed every bully meme or bad parenting meme or even a "Feeling pissed off" status (with no more info on it) was aimed at her/her kid. I'd been liking and very occasionally sharing that stuff for years. She had claimed them all as about her. I'd actually not given her a second thought but hey-ho, if she wanted them to be about her she could have them.

I can see why your relatives assumed that meme was about them but it could just as easily be something you saw on a friend's timeline and thought it was amusing. It's not like you went out looking for it and posted it as a bitch about them.

My in laws are pissy buggers so I have two facebooks. One with them on that I rarely use and the other where they're all blocked. It's my FB and if I don't want to have to keep deleting my statuses because they immediately PM or argue on it, I shouldn't have to. Just simple statuses like "Kids driving me crazy today. Terrible behaviour" would be met with crap like "Take this down! Those poor kids will see this one day'" or a "Is it really appropriate to air your laundry like this publicly moaning about your own children?!"

ODFO MIL dear!

Leave the relatives on restricted. They're the ones with the issues about your Facebook, not you. If they don't like it, unfriend completely!

If that’s your attitude that you should be able to post what you like then I don’t think you can complain if people take offence.
You are free to post what you like and others are free to respond as they like. If, however, you don’t wish to offend people a little effort is going to be required. It’s up to you.

PorkPatrol 99% of people would think it was about them? Or just the people responding to a thread about social media.

What about all the grown ups who would just shrug, ignore it or not even read it in the first place.

The majority of grown ups wouldn't give it a second thought.

I clicked on this thread expecting to wholeheartedly agree with you, OP. I find it baffling that people have these dramas on social media.

However... I think you've misjudged this one. The other memes you posted as examples of your sense of humour have a picture or a bit of context. They are very obviously jokey. The one which offended your relative was one rather bald statement which basically implied that you hate being around people. Plus the 'no thanks' makes it sound like declining an invitation - which is very relevant to why they were offended.

It's not about them failing to get your sense of humour (memes like the others you posted are everywhere, and everyone knows they are jokey). It's about you failing to see that, in this situation, it's not surprising they took it amiss (even though they overreacted).

Also, what is the point of posting these things for your own private amusement if you can't accept that other people might react to things you post? Sharing things on social media is inviting a reaction. Otherwise why wouldn't you just see the meme and keep it to yourself?

Because it's childish to be so self centered to assume it's all about you.

It is. It's also childish not to be able to admit at least partial culpability

You really don't want to be wrong, do you OP?

Is this how you live your life?

If so - wow. Just wow

OP - Maybe I'm a bit simple, but offence can easily be found maybe the posts are an issue.

Like this hypothetical example:
Sarah has a disagreement with a couple of mums at her child's dance studio over the Christmas party. Then within 48 hours shares this meme. Sarah thinks it's soooo hilarious and funny and then gets annoyed when other people go WTF. Sarah then cries 'but I like sharing funny things, I can't even begin to understand why you would even be looking to find offence. I'll have to put you on restricted because you clearly can't handle a totally innocent meme. What do you mean you're confused and annoyed by me putting you on restricted? I was just saving you from any future offence, you know as you took offence from my last not very funny share. Sarah flounces to mumsnet to complain some people are just so dramatic on social media.

The share isn't offensive, but it doesn't exactly take more than 2 brain cells to realise that's an issue in the making.

I can see that the timing of the original meme was quite bad, but once you’d explained it wasn’t aimed at them, it’s ridiculous of them to keep going on about it.

I posted this meme on my FB last year when we had snow and frozen rain. Is just got back from our stables and it popped up on a page I follow and I thought it was funny so shared it.

Someone at the yard hadn’t been able to get up and do her horses so had to ask the Yard Owner to do it. Shit happens, YO is willing to help out in an emergency.

She thought I was being smug and making a dig at her and had a go at me. I unfriended her so she had another go.

As far as I was concerned, it’s my FB page and I shared something I found amusing and quite fitting.

I found the whole thing completely ridiculous

@Moussemoose

Get a grip folks.

Some of you are massively over invested. I work with teenagers and we get this angst all the time from 16 year olds.

So what if the meme was passive aggressive. Ignore it move on. It doesn't matter. Who cares? He said, she said, I thought, it was all about me, it is all about you. It's rude if you squint, look at it sideways and think everything is always about you.

Stop obsessing about FB and grow the fuck up.

Hey everyone. The forum police have arrived. 👮‍♀️👮‍♀️👮‍♀️🚓🚨🚔

Behave everyone. RIGHT NOW And jolly well 'grow the fuck up!' You naughty people!

That is to 90% of the posters on here. Seeing as how 90% of posters are disagreeing with the OP!!!!!!!!

Thanks for posting moose you wonderful font of all knowledge and wisdom. We all know how to behave now. What naught iccle puddings we are. Tut tut..... Good job YOU came on here to put us straight!