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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.

362 replies

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 13:54

I know I'm not being unreasonable, 99% sure of it, but I'm losing my mind over the incredulous nature of this. I'm dumbstruck that this is an issue and need advice.

I had a falling out with a relative on my husband's side. I shared a meme about enjoying solitude and liking my own company and they thought it was targeted at them, I explained that it wasn't but they weren't having it. I ignored their behaviour because honestly I was baffled that a grown adult would read that into someone's post let alone accuse them of it to their face.

I subsequently placed that person on restricted to avoid future arguments. I don't like Facebook drama, or this sort of drama in general and have no time for it, so I did this to ensure it wouldn't happen again.

They have found out I've done this and gone bazerk. Calling me childish, rude, that I'm picking on them, that I hate them.

I really hate this sort of thing. Short of deleting my entire profile, which I don't see why I should have to do, I don't know how to resolve this without that person being offended.

Were they not a relative of my husband's I'd tell them to sod off. I've never met adults like this!

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FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 17:13

ello oh my god that's so ridiculous.

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Moussemoose · 03/02/2019 17:14

@newnameforthis7 wow thanks for those thoughtful comments!!!!

Do u use FB loads. 😂 lol.

Emoticontastic thems so funs pmsl 🤩

WowCakeStarTennisFootballGinGlitterballHaloArchersBike

Making my point with pictures.

And that is why I'm not on FB. God this thread makes me feel old.

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:14

Stop arguing and be told. @MOUSSEMOOSE is the font of all knowledge and wisdom.

She works with teenagers you know, and we need to GROW THE FUCK UP! dontcha know.

Let's all BOW to her great knowledge and wisdom. Wink

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:15

I bow to you oh mighty one.

Moussemoose · 03/02/2019 17:15

BIG LETTERS ARE EASY TO READ.

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 17:15

new your reaction clearly shows you're one of these melodramatic posters.

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Moussemoose · 03/02/2019 17:16

FacebookFeud I think the point you are making has just been proven conclusively.

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:16

You're not on FACEBOOK moose?!

WOW! I am sooooo impressed.

Good for you.

Have a carrot. 🥕

dorisdog · 03/02/2019 17:17

They're overreacting. And lol to all the 'oh I'm so superior and enriched because I don't use facebook/memes' posts. The cat meme is hilarious. I'm totally nicking it.

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:17

Actually have 2 carrots. 🥕🥕One for 'moose' and one for 'facebookfeud' LOL Grin

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:18

Aren't you lucky that moose came onto the thread @facebookfeud ???

I'll say no more PMSL.

MaisyPops · 03/02/2019 17:20

MaisyPopsand when these issues kick off in a class and everyone is crying and complaining what do you say?
Well yes you have every right to be offended. You certainly have a point Julie did post that passive aggressive post and I can see why your upset. I would be upset if I was you.
Of course you don't, you teach resilience. It's just a shame adults don't have those resilience skills.

We talk to everyone concerned about how to use social media in a way that's sensible and productive with a strong message of 'don't post crap on the internet to create drama and provoke a reaction'.
Thankfully, my school takes a reasonably sensible line on passive aggressive bitching and shit stirring on and offline. We haven't the time or inclination to get into 'i didn't say anything technically to her, so it's not my problem if they take an issue with the obviously inflamatory passive aggressive statement that might have been about her and totally was in all but name for half the year group to see'.

People who like posting passive aggressive and inflamatory nonsense on Facebook are usually all too quick to play the victim if anyone challenges them.

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 17:22

New are you the one who took this meme personally?

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JuditthIscariot · 03/02/2019 17:22

You're 99% sure you aren't in the wrong. Several people point out you are. You're still 99% sure and also 100% sure anybody disagreeing with you is wrong. Right... Hmm

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 17:29

You're 99% sure you aren't in the wrong. Several people point out you are. You're still 99% sure and also 100% sure anybody disagreeing with you is wrong. Right... Hmm

😄🤣😂

And she can't even see it. The vast majority of posters on this thread can see the OP is on the wrong and is being massively childish and obtuse. But she WILL NOT have it!

Weezol · 03/02/2019 17:32

I only accepted this person because my husband said they'd get offended if I didn't

And there's your problem. Look, the timing of the meme was off, but if someone is looking to be offended, they'll find something eventually.

She's offended by not being on your FB. Now that she is, she's offended by what she's seen. She'll be offended if you remove her. Make a decision, she'll be offended no matter what you do. When you've made the decision, warn your husband before you take any action - she's his mother/sister and it's social chuffing media not life or death.

This is why I never joined FB in the first place. It's very easy to misinterpret the written word and there's enough stress in the world as it is.

Biologifemini · 03/02/2019 17:32

Memes are cringey and usually painfully bad.
Am hoping they will go out of fashion soon.

Gina2012 · 03/02/2019 17:34

As far as I was concerned, it’s my FB page and I shared something I found amusing and quite fitting.

And you are perfectly entitled to do that

And the other person is perfectly entitled to get annoyed with you

That's the problem with timelines. People seem to think that they are the Emperor of their timeline and no one else is allowed an opinion-about what they post

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY FFS

Moussemoose · 03/02/2019 17:37

You know newname if u used more WineBiscuitFootballGinArchersBike it would make it so much easier for people to understand what you mean!!!!

God this thread is depressing.

PeggySuehadababy · 03/02/2019 17:44

Considering that people can get fired over inappropriate Facebook memes or pictures, it's naive to think they don't have any impact, especially when they are tongue in cheek.

Please remember that anything you post on the Internet stay on it for the foreseeable future and facebook it's not reliable when it comes to keeping its users' data safe.

As a side consideration, regarding teenagers and social media, I remember an article I read last year of a young girl who killed herself due to nasty things her classmates were posting online. So for some people who are already struggling it's not a matter of being resilient and ignoring the posts.

PorkPatrol · 03/02/2019 17:45

I would shrug and ignore it had I seen it. I’d still think it was supposed to be aimed at me given the timing I just wouldn’t care.
I don’t think you can both reserve the right to post what you like without considering others and then also complain when others don’t like what you’ve posted. You can either post what you like and accept people’s reactions or if you want reactions to be positive then you need to have some sensitivity in what you post. You can’t have it both ways.

MaisyPops · 03/02/2019 17:47

True peggy.
Lots of schools now have the 'think before you post' approach.

Passive aggressive memes don't tick the boxes.

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 17:48

I don't have Facebook to be thoughtful or motivational. I'm not a life coach.

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PorkPatrol · 03/02/2019 17:52

You don’t have to be a life coach to consider other people’s feelings. Fair enough if it’s too much effort but then you can’t complain if people feel annoyed/offended as a result of your posts.

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 17:54

No but then surely they can't complain when I block them from seeing them?

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