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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is low! And to feel hurt/confused

398 replies

Whatthe1 · 03/02/2019 12:10

So I have made a new (ish) friend (known for about 9months or so. We got on really well and it DC do too (met in school). Anyway we are currently planning on building a house and it’s all very exciting for us. We met up on Friday eve and she asked how plans were going. I told her and conversation led on. She got to the point of asking me which bank we were getting our mortgage from as lending here at the moment is difficult. I said we weren’t as we were hoping to self fund. She asked how?? I said that we had profit from our last house and some investments we were going to cash in. She then outwardly REFUSED to believe it!! Stating that at our age she couldn’t see how it was possible esp as we had two DC. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said, oh look it’s not important let’s talk about something else. The rest of the visit was ok but she was a little “off”

Anyway today I got the following message
Whatthe,
I have been In turmoil since Friday, I can’t understand why you would lie to my face about finances the way you did. I feel like either way I can’t continue being friends. If you are lying like I BELIEVE you are or whether you actually have THAT kind of money. I didn’t think you were one of those ‘money is no object people’ so unfortunately I can’t be around that. Sorry I really enjoy your company and you are a great new friend but this just doesn’t sit with me’

I haven’t responded as I am I shock I think! What the hell?? Do you think I should call or just leave her be? I AM DUMBFOUNDED 😮

OP posts:
JanisJoplin73 · 04/02/2019 17:37

She was very rude to ask and thank God you have an excuse to lose contact with her. I wouldn’t reply..

workornot · 04/02/2019 17:38

Haven't read the whole thread but OP take a lesson here. I would not discuss finances so open esp with a newish friends. One thing saying you have some financial difficulty but telling her on how much cash/assets you are sitting was foolish.

Holidayshopping · 04/02/2019 17:41

OMG-what is wrong with her?!

MandyFl0ss · 04/02/2019 17:43

Fruitcake alert

MrsPinkCock · 04/02/2019 17:44

@workornot

The OP didn’t tell her how much cash she had or any specific detail about their assets Hmm she responded when asked a direct question by her weird ex friend!

What was she meant to do, lie? Hmm

mummarosie1 · 04/02/2019 17:46

She bonkers!

Barbarafromblackpool · 04/02/2019 17:48

What a numpty.

Lellikelly26 · 04/02/2019 17:50

Uncontrollable jealousy and she’s completely unaware of herself

ManOfKent · 04/02/2019 17:51

Complete nut job!
I feel for you to have built such s nice friendship only to realise after 9 months you really didn't know her at all.
And to send such a nasty and unjustified message calling you a liar is about as low as any 'friend' can go!

Prove her wrong by building that house, moving in and being happy without her in your life.

Daw321 · 04/02/2019 17:53

Wow. With friends like that who needs enemies?? Bottom line is jealousy. Next Im afraid to say is that she wasnt a true friend. Friends are happy for your achievements and there to cheer you on, not say ridiculous things like that. Your better off without her and if it were me i wouldn't be able to resist replying to her message stating that your finances are none of her business. Personally I've been in similar situation. A friend of mine who has always considered herself better than me couldn't understand how we could manage to move house and keep hold of the old one to rent out (you know other than good old fashioned hard work) and she made it obvious that it got up her nose, just like it has with this friend of yours. Like i said, bottom line= jealousy. You have nothing to prove to her or anyone. Good luck with it all!

Turquoise123 · 04/02/2019 17:53

looks like you have dodged a bullet but unpleasant for you .

Ignore and block.

Eattothebeat · 04/02/2019 17:54

Unbelievable! Please keep us posted on any updates.

Nik122 · 04/02/2019 17:55

How crazy! Does sound like she's maybe had a bad experience of some sorts with other people? Or she could just be bat shit crazy plain and simple. Love a thread when the op doesn't disappear, please keep us updated with any more craziness.

labazsisgoingmad · 04/02/2019 17:56

well done to you if you have managed to raise the money without loans mortgages etc sounds like she is just jealous and you are better off without her

DeaflySilence · 04/02/2019 17:58

"School run was fairly uneventful in that she stayed in her car and let her Dc go in themselves (which she never does) so I get the feeling she is avoiding me"

Probably and, while I think you were right in agreeing with her that you could probably no longer be friends, I don't think you should ignore or avoid her back.

I think you should grab every opportunity to give her a little 'regal' smile and nod as you pass on your way.

Reallyevilmuffin · 04/02/2019 17:59

'sorry, ithought I only had to supply 6 mo the of payslips and proof of where the deposit has come from to the housebuilders only, not my 'so called' friends'

Doingmybestmum · 04/02/2019 18:01

Message back “Fair enough. All the best.”

Ninjafox · 04/02/2019 18:03

Tbh she's incredibly rude. It's not her business where you got your money from and you don't need to explain. I'd say you're best out it.

PolarBearkshire · 04/02/2019 18:03

Ewww good riddance - definitely psychotic with MASSIVE jealousy about other people wealth! Its very good it came out early. Thank the Gods and move on

CanIBeHappy · 04/02/2019 18:06

Erm...is this actually real?! I can't quite believe it tbh!

Had she exhibited signs of crazy jealous lady before this? Jealous isn't the word!

I had a rich friend and I made it quite clear that her gorgeous house made me green with envy Grin There's nothing wrong with a bit if jealousy, but she sounds on another planet, quite frankly.

How bizarre.

Lucky escape, OP.

Sparkerparker · 04/02/2019 18:07

She’s weird AF.
For future refs. don’t talk about money with anyone outside your immediate family. (It’s none of their business)

workornot · 04/02/2019 18:09

What was she meant to do, lie?

why not? she is under no obligation to disclose her financial situation to her friend Hmm

exaltedwombat · 04/02/2019 18:11

What would you like the outcome to be? Forget about 'justifing your position' and work towards that result.

Tessabelle1 · 04/02/2019 18:11

I'd count yourself lucky and breathe a sigh of relief she's gone, what kind of weirdo can't be happy for a friend?

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 04/02/2019 18:15

We’ve paid our mortgage off with an inheritance from the Pils. It’s come at the expense of my dc losing their last grandparents. I know which I’d rather have. She has no idea how you’ve come by your finances and I’d be fucking annoyed too if I were you. Hurtful cow. What an idiot.