To be thinking of putting my 4 week old upstairs to bed?

[m4rdybum]

Asking here because I'd like a wider range
of views, other than the group of Mumsnet posters who only go by exact guidelines and have no room for manoeuvre. Also because I'm open to being called unreasonable if it means I'm more successful in raising my DD.

DD is 3 weeks old. DH goes back to work just after she turns 4 weeks.

We've started toying with the idea of getting her used to being upstairs for "bedtime" (starting when DH goes back to work), which at the minute would be around her 8/9pm bottle. I also totally get that a routine probably won't stick with her for a while - but we're quite lucky that she already has her own predictable feeding routine on the go (for now) - it's more for us at the minute.

Me and DH usually go to bed around 10pm. She currently sleeps in her Moses basket in the living room and gets taken upstairs with us.

I know of the recommendation for babies up to 6 months to sleep in the same room as parents day and night, to help reduce the risk of SIDS and want to stress that of course I'm hyper aware of this and don't want it to happen. DD sleeps next to our bed and will do so until 6 months.

But I'm curious as to who follows this to the rule when it comes to start thinking about a bedtime? There's a lot of kids in my family and most have started going up to bed between 1 & 2 months old.

We, of course, have a baby monitor and also would check on her regularly until we went up to bed. It would just be nice to not have to worry so much about being quiet with her in the room.

Has anyone else done this? Any recommendations? Warnings?

When have i ever suggested it isn’t?

You are the best parent on here, clearly

WTF? Have you had your meds checked recently, dear?

I wouldn't, and I have a pressure pad. I wouldn't want to risk anything happening, so 6 months of baby being with me is a fantastic trade off to reduce the risk of them dying. It's 6 months of your entire life, it will fly by.

Pouty really tou are very very rude. And so unnecessarily.

Of course she is. What she doesn't know isn't worth knowing.

Who rattled your cage? You parented in a different time. You said it yourself. So wind your neck in.

really tou are very very rude. And so unnecessarily.

Can’t you see other people being very very rude to me too?

Why, because I do not agree with your rather extreme views and dogged determination that your way is the only way?
Can't you debate without being rude? Very immature.

Too young, not worth the risk whatsoever. Some parents put their baby in its own room from day one and it’s fine but SIDS guidelines exist for a reason imo. I don’t see how or why having her beside you in the Moses basket matters.

Oh dear, some people really don't like a hint of criticism, do they? Babies really haven't changed much in 30 years.

Anyway I have already said you are the best parent in the world, ever.
But you knew that 😂😂😂

You told me on another thread that I was selfish and acting to the detriment of my son because I wanted to consult a sleep trainer. You told me that was because I said he was an inconvenience to me. I said no such thing. I said the lack of sleep was breaking me. You never apologised even when you had a go at other people for misquoting you. Others supported me and described what you said as cuntish.

I strongly believe that your manner towards me has had a significant impact on my already struggling mental health

So with respect, dear, I think you are getting everything you deserve.

Why, because I do not agree with your rather extreme views and dogged determination that your way is the only way?

Where have I said that? Are you sure it’s not insecurity over how you parented your children? Out of interest, did you do anything different with number 2? Presumably guidance when they were born was different than when you had number 1?

Can't you debate without being rude? Very immature.

Whilst referring to someone in the third person is the height of politeness.

Oh dear, some people really don't like a hint of criticism, do they? Babies really haven't changed much in 30 years.

Try 30,000 years.

Except back then the thought of putting them down and leaving them to it would have seen them eaten by wild animals.

Keep digging, Pouty, all you're doing is proving our point.

Yes yabu.

So are you peddling that 30 year old advice is relevant? Despite significant scientific evidence to the contrary since?

Keep digging, Pouty, all you're doing is proving our point.

🖕🏻

Nice.

I have no Insecurity about the way I parented my children, but thanks for your concern.
I hope no one crosses you in real life.

Pouty, at best you're hysterical. On top of that you're rude, goady and bitchy. You should probably just step away from mumsnet if all you can do is give shit "advice" which clearly you're not actually interested in doing. You're just one of "those" posters who love to jump at the chance to try to make others feel shit about themselves. Find something productive to fill your time instead of this, maybe? You really don't come across good in any way.

poutysprout I didn't teach my babies to self settle - because we did same thing from day we came home it was just their normal. They were never once left crying themselves to sleep.
Yes it was important to me that they settled themselves at bedtime - unfortunately I was back at work at 4 months with DD and then 6 months with DS. I have to do marking and planning in the evenings. So it could be seen as harsh - but I needed that routine.
It worked brilliantly and I think OP should be aware that it is OK for babies to be put down to sleep and self settle and that not all babies will cry about this.
My kids self settled but have definitely not been damaged.
We live in 2019 and unfortunately cost of living means some of us have to go back to work.
OP please do what feels right - some people on MN can be very dramatic.

This is what pisses me off for mums with babies not sure to what do for the best, it's all wishy washy concepts or people taking extreme views and arguing with no nuance for how different babies are different.

How does that help mums work out what to do for the best?

And still you lack the basic decency to even respond to me.

snuggybuggy you are so right. I feel so very lost.