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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Private school: To go without a tie?

156 replies

TigerTooth · 01/02/2019 22:42

Sorry - posting for traffic as I need a quick selection of opinions!
DS has an interview for an excellent private school on Monday - he's 11.
I'm planning nice chino's, clean polished shoes, open neck shirt and sweater.
Friend and my mother think a tie is necessary.
What do you think? Particularly if you experience of such things.
Thanks so much

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 02/02/2019 21:19

Neither DS wore a tie for their interview. Or school uniform I don't think.

There is nothing wrong with chinos. He is 11.

SoupDragon · 02/02/2019 21:21

I remember one boy basically dressed like his father on smart trousers and a blazer. He looked really uncomfortable. And, to me, rather silly.

Jeanclaudejackety · 02/02/2019 21:21

OMG I remember going for a private school interview, everyone had straw boaters and stripy blazers with millions of badges that said 'music captain' and 'inter House netball' and 'junior orchestra' and such. I had an Asda polo shirt, my school zip up fleece jacket and an Asda skirt on with probably laddered tights. I was mortified. I was mostly fuming because I was in fact on my primary school council but my school didn't provide shiny badges for you to wear so I felt like I was making it up for effect in the interview. Also my mum putting her best phone voice on the whole time made me want to die. I did not end up going to that school Grin

OP black or navy trousers, shirt and tie is probably fine. I wouldn't go with a blazer as I just think little lads look like either barron trump or like they're at a wedding in them

SoupDragon · 02/02/2019 21:22

What is unreasonable or unbalanced about dressing with appropriate smartness for a formal occasion?

What people think is "appropriate"

Jeanclaudejackety · 02/02/2019 21:23

Depends how formal you see it too I suppose. I'd be tempted to not treat it as too grand an occasion, it's school at the end of the day and they're kids, school is school.

Crockof · 02/02/2019 21:24

No read whole thread but agree go looking like school uniform. We have super selective grammar schools and all the private kids come in their school uniform on a Saturday (and all the non privates snigger)

Schmoobarb · 02/02/2019 21:26

What sort of school chooses its pupils based on what they wear? Any muppet w rich parents can put on a tie, surely there must be a bit more to the selsction process than that?

This.

MN is so out of touch with reality sometimes it’s untrue. I can’t believe that people actually worry about things like this.

Jeanclaudejackety · 02/02/2019 21:28

Crockof I used to help out at my grammar schools exam morning when I was in year 11 and there were always some in their uniforms spit and polished to within an inch of their life, then some came in football kits straight from training or leggings and a Nike Hoodie, it didn't matter if you were in Pyjamas it's the grades on the paper that mattered. Felt sorry for some of the little mites.

Schmoobarb · 02/02/2019 21:29

An employer would not be impressed if someone turned up in shorts and t-shirt for an interview.

But this is an 11 year old applying for a place in a school, which will be getting paid handsomely for the privilege of having him attend. Not a job interview. He’s 11 FGS! I wouldn’t want my child going somewhere where he was judged on the clothes that his parents paid for and told him to wear!

minipie · 02/02/2019 21:29

What does he actually own OP? Please don’t buy something specially (unless he only owns holey tracksuits which I doubt). Chinos or cords, jumper and collared polo shirt or shirt sounds fine to me. Clean shoes. I don’t think it would ever occur to me to put a 10 year old in a tie unless it was part of a uniform.

I cannot believe a school would turn him down based on no tie and if they did that’s a school to run a mile from anyway.

areyoureallysaying · 02/02/2019 21:43

My son switched from Comp to Private school in Year 7 midway through the year, so we missed the en masse entry exam day. However, when he did have his interview and entry exam he wore skinny jeans, cons and a hoodie.
I would have had to go out especially to buy anything along the chinos and polo shirt line and he never would have worn them again so I didn't see the point
When we turned up for the interview he def stood out but I figured what he was wearing was a true representation of him and he was comfortable so thatswhat mattered IMO

cece · 02/02/2019 21:58

I don't know any children who own a pair of chinos. I'd have to go and buy them especially and I doubt either of my dad would wear them.

Unbearablecollies · 02/02/2019 22:07

As a complete irrelevance, I cannot bear the word 'chino' it's Boden personified Confused

VWpurse · 02/02/2019 22:20

unbearablecollies It’s the Spanish name for China, where the cotton fabric came from to make them.

Chinos = parsnip shaped legs to me!
Or Olly Murs.

walkingtheplank · 02/02/2019 22:23

We're going through school applications at the moment. One of the schools had Saturday interviews so no uniform - and the boys were all very Boden, except the one boy who turned up in a suit and tie and looked rather strange because of it.

The key is being clean and tidy, not looking like a mini version of their dad.

Good luck!

Ivegotthree · 03/02/2019 08:01

Tie 100pc

SoupDragon · 03/02/2019 09:40

No tie. 100%

CruCru · 05/02/2019 10:02

What did he wear in the end, @TigerTooth?

Original poster
TigerTooth · 05/02/2019 11:15

For goodness sakes - such a lot of anger and anti - tie wearing on here.
It's not something I was terribly wortied about and of course there is more to the selection process - but it's nice to have opposite ions on what to wear and I simply asked for some opinions of those 'in the know' who had been to similar interviews!
Also what's with the chino hating? Maybe they aren't chinos - I'll have to look up what chinos are - they are smart cotton trousers with 2 side pockets and 2 sllash rather than patch pockets at the back.
Anyway - thank you to all those who managed to give some advice without spouting hatred!
He wore the trousers - maybe they are chinos, I don't know. Shirt, sweater and black shoes. He had a smart haircut and it was fine.
I personally go t agree that it's ok to turn up in dirty football kit having just finished training as it shows s lack of respect imo.
The large majority of boys were in uniform - most of these had ties.
The boys not in uniform were about 80/20 without ties. All were smart, all similar to my sons ourfit.
I only saw one in jeans but they were teamed with a nice waistcoat and shirt with Chelsea boots and he looked rather dapper.

OP posts:
Original poster
TigerTooth · 05/02/2019 11:15
OP posts:
Original poster
TigerTooth · 05/02/2019 11:21
OP posts:
Fazackerley · 05/02/2019 11:41

do you really want people to comment further Confused

Washedallthepots · 05/02/2019 13:55

I said I hated the word Chino, don't actually care about the object as it happens!

Doraismissing · 05/02/2019 14:04

The most important thing is that he is comfortable. If he is not used to wearing a tie it will be a distraction.

Littlecaf · 05/02/2019 14:23

I actually turned down a school offer because they had a tie as part of the school uniform Grin