Private school: To go without a tie?

[TigerTooth]

Sorry - posting for traffic as I need a quick selection of opinions!
DS has an interview for an excellent private school on Monday - he's 11.
I'm planning nice chino's, clean polished shoes, open neck shirt and sweater.
Friend and my mother think a tie is necessary.
What do you think? Particularly if you experience of such things.
Thanks so much

@BarbarianMum

It's not about choosing pupils based on what they wear. It's a recognition of the fact that there are certain places and situations which require formal dress out of respect i.e court and job interviews. An employer would not be impressed if someone turned up in shorts and t-shirt for an interview.

Depends on the school independents are not all the same, my children's school is quite trad and smart non uniform is preferred, however another school may be fine with smart casual so I would try to get more specific guidance.

If you don't know anyone who attends, call the school first thing Monday and ask reception they will more than likely have been asked the same question previously and be able to guide. As it's Monday perhaps buy something smarter today so that when you do have the answer from that specific school and then you can return if something you had is suitable.

DS did MT interviews last term, his interviewer was running a bit late, so we saw quite a few boys.
I'd say 75% of them were wearing school uniform and the others wearing chino/shirt/jumper combo you described.

He needs to wear decent shoes, though not trainers. I remember one interviewer taking a child in and looking at disgust at his trainers. Most of the parents were also dressed smartly too.

But an employer would be dealing w an adult. This is an 11 year old. So either you interview the 11 year old to assess their potential, or you just skip them and interview their parents to check that "they're the right sort". And who would want a school that did the latter (well lots of people obviously but how pathetic).

I remember one interviewer taking a child in and looking at disgust at his trainers.

And that’s the thing. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with the system, it doesn’t matter whether the school doesn’t have s policy, there is always the possibility that you’ll get someone like that, like my granddad, who would judge you for your shoes.

BarbarianMum Who are you to judge who is “pathetic”?!

Are you jealous?

It's a recognition of the fact that there are certain places and situations which require formal dress out of respect i.e court and job interviews

And private school interviews, apparently!

Choosing a school that bases it's pupils selection on whether parents are the right sort is pathetic. I'm hardly likely to be jealous of that, am I?

BarbarianMum but you made up that the school does that. Maybe to try and disparage a system you are not part of and jealous of.

I know a few people who do admissions in private school (albeit only spread across two schools but both are competitive to get into). Most turn up in school uniform. Some in full suit, some in smart casual. Any of it is fine. They would raise an eyebrow at someone who came in fancy dress or PJs but any other reasonable choice is fine.

Tie is unnecessary and will make him stand out a little imho. Smart casual is fine. One of the schools my dis was interviewed for actually stipulated ‘clothes that your son feels comfortable in’ and most boys were in jeans and hoodies.

If you're treating it like a job interview, just send him in a suit. OH always wears suits because the interviewer is highly unlikely to look negatively on you being dressed TOO smartly (in before someone posts about how media execs would rather you wear a hoodie), whereas they quite often will mentally mark you down for the opposite, for being not formal enough. Worst case if you're too smart is the interviewer thinks oh well, he didn't know what dress code we have but I respect that he made an effort.

Current uniform.

So the school I work at which is consistently in the top 5 co -ed independents results wise and for which chinos and polos is the norm or interview is now apparently according to some posters not a top academic indie

TigerTooth - good plan but I bet you won't be needing that tie and jacket

But if schools don't do that VWpurse then it wouldn't matter if OPs son wore a tie or not. And I'm not the one whose saying he must.

And on tje jealousy note, I know its tough for those who rely on purchased privilege to understand, but some of us function perfectly well in a meritocracy. As do our children.

I went to good private schools and taught in a Public school. He doesn’t need to wear a tie.

IME most private school kids I’ve encountered are quite scruffily dressed and rarely immaculate looking, even at interview! Hoodies and Jeans are not uncommon. I’ve never seen a child turn up for interview or entrance exam in a shirt/tie/blazer/suit.

BarbarianMum but you made up that the school does that. Maybe to try and disparage a system you are not part of and jealous of.

Mine did. 😁 This was at primary back in the 80s. The head had been my dad’s much-feared maths teacher in secondary. Dad was only in his late 20s - so not ancient history for him! He confessed years later he’d found it incredibly daunting.

Wow barbarian mum, so judgemental!

I went to private school. Pupils ranged from the very wealthy, to parents who worked hard and sacrificed everything to afford the fees, to people with very little money. As for the 'right sort' , why shouldn't the schools in question pick parents who are likely to be a good fit for the school's particular ethos? I'm sure a lot of state schools wish they didn't have to put up with parents who are abusive to staff, parents who are lax about discipline, parents who are unsupportive of their kids education . The right sort doesn't have to mean someone who lives in a big house and drives a Chelsea tractor. In the case of where I went the right sort could easily mean a single mum who had been through the application process for an assisted place because she passionately wanted the best for her kids. Furthermore the school I went to excelled in teaching children with learning difficulties and they were often heavily subsidised. It's not all hockey sticks and ponies.

A private education isn't a passport to privilege at all. Private school children don't all become doctors or solicitors or work in the city. However what is does provide is an education focused environment where discipline and achievement are valued, and the school needs to make sure the families coming to the school are buying into that.

Part of that package is being appropriately dressed, because it shows respect. Previous school uniform or a smart outfit would be absolutely fine I'm sure, but I doubt a lack of a tie would be judged harshly. Trainers and grey tracksuit bottoms wouldn't be OK at an interview at the school I went to. Why? Not because it's the attire of not the 'right sort' simply because it shows a lack of effort for what is a formal meeting.

Still sticking to plan and back - up plan, will post on Monday if he's thrown out for being neck-naked.

If everything is clean a d pressed and he has proper shoes then what you've said would be perfect for the well known boys private school near me. They don't wear a tie day to day anyway.

Ds did one today. He wore trainers, smart jeans and a smart jumper. Everyone else was in hoodies!

I work in one of the top independents as well (currently wondering if somethingsmellsnice is one of my colleagues!). Your chosen outfit sounds perfect, and tbh if a child turned up in a suit and tie that wasn't school uniform at that age we would think pushy parents. Suits and ties are fine for investment bankers, but these are 11 year olds and interview is about getting to know them (not some facade) and whether they will do well at our school.

I work in a private school and I echo what others have said - current school uniform including tie

Just read your update. Ignore me