Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Private school: To go without a tie?

156 replies

TigerTooth · 01/02/2019 22:42

Sorry - posting for traffic as I need a quick selection of opinions!
DS has an interview for an excellent private school on Monday - he's 11.
I'm planning nice chino's, clean polished shoes, open neck shirt and sweater.
Friend and my mother think a tie is necessary.
What do you think? Particularly if you experience of such things.
Thanks so much

OP posts:
edwinbear · 01/02/2019 23:39

OP we’ve not really helped at all have we Grin

Chillywhippet · 01/02/2019 23:39

Tiger in my actual RL experience of actual selection and interviews at an actual independent school the boys wore exactly what you are suggesting or current school uniform (a mixture of blazers or sweatshirts/polos). Grin

edwinbear · 01/02/2019 23:42

Why would you send your 11 year old son to a place of education that valued tie wearing? I work in senior corporate circles and no one wears ties

I’m a (privately educated) senior investment banker. Everyone still wears a tie. It pays very well to do so.

edwinbear · 01/02/2019 23:45

Grobags How many state schools do you know that don’t have a school tie? Hmm

Togertiger · 01/02/2019 23:46

Our 4 year olds wear ties! None of this sweatshirt stuff!

Grobagsforever I would send my son because it’s one of the best schools in the country. You have no idea unless you’re in the system how much he boys can gain from that. It’s a different world. If a tie would put you off, no need to apply!

Blinkingblimey · 01/02/2019 23:46

Ok. What exactly did invitation for interview suggest?! If they didn’t stipulate jacket & tie then smart trousers (chino - dark!) and a shirt are More(!) than adequate.

VWpurse · 01/02/2019 23:50

Minimum six figure salary for a prestigious job you love... but damn, you have to wear a tie.

Not a difficult decision for a lot of people for the years they work.

Original poster
TigerTooth · 01/02/2019 23:54

Why would you send your 11 year old son to a place of education that valued tie wearing? I work in senior corporate circles and no one wears ties..

Seriously, school is for learning and growing, not Tory party dress codes. A bright child is just that, sounds like he'd be MUCH better off in a state school rather than in this strange David Cameron breeding institution.

Well...Firstly that's not the issue and if I wanted your opinion on which school I should send my DS to, I would have asked.
Secondly - there's nothing wrong with a state school if you live near some nice ones but in my area of London the secondary schools are awful and I feel the selective schools I've chosen will give him a better chance of academic and social success. As for it being a strange David Cameron breeding institution - what a silly comment. There is nothing strange about the schools I'm hoping for - but if the do propel him to be PM I'd be up for that.

OP posts:
Uniform101 · 01/02/2019 23:58

(NC as this could be outing about where I work). I work in a very prestigious and traditional boarding school that regularly features on here. We honestly don’t mind what a boy wears for an interview and absolutely would not expect a tie. It is perfectly fine for a boy to turn up in jeans, trainers and a shirt/jumper. I promise you the majority of schools will not even take note of what they are wearing, let alone influence their decision. Hope that helps and best of luck to your son for his interview!!

AliTheMinx · 02/02/2019 00:01

OP. Your son's outfit sounds perfect. Wishing him the very best of luck!

Original poster
TigerTooth · 02/02/2019 00:02

Invitation didn't stipulate dress code.
Methinks they won't dismiss him because his mum has crap taste in clothes. Those who work in the private sector seem to sure that smart / casual is ok - But I'll have a blazer on my arm and a tie in pocket just in case - then arrive early and spy on other boys.Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TigerTooth · 02/02/2019 00:05

Thank you all
Much appreciated and decision made.

OP posts:
Fiddie · 02/02/2019 00:05

Definitely a tie and blazer otherwise he'll stand out for the wrong reason, most of the others will have their uniform on.

pasanda · 02/02/2019 00:18

'None of this sweatshirt stuff'

ConfusedHmm

DarklyDreamingDexter · 02/02/2019 00:28

I don't think they'll reject him for wearing chinos, but if it were my son I'd try to emulate the overall style of the uniform - e.g. smart black trousers, crisp white shirt and tie, so they could mentally see him fitting in at the school. If it was a borderline decision, it might help!

Mamaat50 · 02/02/2019 00:49

DarklyDreamingDexter DS was told “You look like an boy already!” when we went for his interview because we (accidentally, classic colours) copied the uniform.

It can’t hurt!

Mamaat50 · 02/02/2019 00:50

“You look like an xxxx boy already!”

LiquoricePickle · 02/02/2019 01:34

No, patronisingly calling someone sweetheart and telling them that they shouldn't be on this thread because they happen to disagree with you.

JammieCodger · 02/02/2019 06:59

That sounds perfect for your private school. Which sounds a bit creative.

Ha! Of course you’re an investment banker. Who else would try and make ‘creative’ sound like an insult!

The big takeaway from this thread is that the parents desperately want the school to care that the boys are all suited up (presumably to sort out the riff-raff) whereas the schools, quite rightly, focus on more relevant things in the interview.

BoardingSchoolAdmissions · 02/02/2019 09:16

Have name changed for this. Will try and remember to change back and not muck up 🙈

I have worked in (and now lead on) admissions in six different independent schools, ranging from middle of the road to up and coming to truly top of the line elite.

At no stage has what a child worn have any bearing whatsoever. It doesn't matter if it's "borderline" (whatever that means 😆) or not.

I've had students show up in hoodies. I've had students show up in suits.

Being comfortable and warm is the only thing on dress you need to think about. "Fitting in" with other prospective students matters to some children, and for that reason you might like to think about a shirt and trousers rather than sweatpants or jeans, but it does not ever impact on admissions.

Prospective parents sometimes think all sorts of things matter when they don't. I try and reassure them on this and everything else, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lucyloulee · 02/02/2019 09:20

I wore jeans and a hoodie for my interview at a top private girls’ school - I got in with a scholarship.

Generally the idea was that if the interview took place on a school day you should just wear your uniform. If it took place at the weekend you should wear your own normal clothes.

daisypond · 02/02/2019 09:26

Just wear comfortable clothes. No need for a tie, or a suit! I think that looks a little odd for an 11-year-old.

BlueCornishPixie · 02/02/2019 09:46

I think what you've chosen is absolutely right.

It's smart but comfy and child appropriate. He's 11. Probably a fair few will be in school uniform, as he doesn't have one that seems a fair equivalent.

I really don't think the school will take into account how a child dresses, they recognise they are interviewing children. If they didn't I really don't think it's a school that would be good for any child.

Yura · 02/02/2019 11:18

Grey school trousers, whits school shirt, v-neck jumped or blazer, tie i would wear. which is pretty much uniform for most primary schools

BarbarianMum · 02/02/2019 11:24

What sort of school chooses its pupils based on what they wear? Any muppet w rich parents can put on a tie, surely there must be a bit more to the selsction process than that?