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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how you self-identify?

173 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 20:54

Inspired by the thread about people identifying as men/women. I wonder if any of you self-identifies as different than people would identify him.
To give an example: I am from a mixed cultural background. I self-identify as a member of several of those cultures... mostly of one but also a bit of the others... even though people typically say you can be a member of just one culture and that you cannot be a member of a culture unless you speak the language. In one case I do not speak the language but identify as a member of that culture anyway because me great-grandmother spoke the language and I knew her. I might not make sense to anybody but me but this is how I self- identify. How about you?

OP posts:
MacarenaFerreiro · 01/02/2019 07:54

I don't "identify" as anything. I'm just me.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 01/02/2019 07:54

I don’t identify as anything. I’m a Scottish woman. Straight. Perimenopausal and therefore with diminishing patience for this indentity thing.

partystress · 01/02/2019 07:56

I am female. Factual and unchangeable.

I have always thought of myself as tall, but improved nutrition meaning average height is going up means this is not an accurate self-perception, even though my height hasn't changed.

Identifying as tall, however inaccurately, makes no impact on anyone else. But if I were to start demanding femur extension surgery on the NHS so that I could see over things in the same way as a genetically tall person, that would be a bit self-absorbed.

If tall people, by virtue of centuries of conditioning, economic disadvantaging and some physical differences, had a few protections from non-tall people (who via similar conditioning etc were more likely to attack or exploit tall people) and I wanted access to those protections, that would be wrong.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 01/02/2019 08:01

Do people really need to 'self identify' as everything?

Instead of saying "I fucking love snow!" should I be saying, "I self identify as someone who loves snow?"

I don't get it!

Biologifemini · 01/02/2019 08:01

I am objectively a white female.
That’s it. Everything else is just subjective opinion.

MIdgebabe · 01/02/2019 08:03

BUT what does it mean that jack identifies and french and John doesn’t? What does that knowledge tell me? Sounds like jack has a happier childhood which is unlikely to be a consistently common across all french children .

Does it encourage me to make assumptions about jack and John? How reliable would those assumptions be? Would I not be better asking if they would prefer chicken or onion soup rather than assuming?

OhTheRoses · 01/02/2019 08:08

I don't identify as; the facts are I am a middle aged, middle class, white woman.

borntobequiet · 01/02/2019 08:10

As amusing.

wellhellothereall · 01/02/2019 08:10

I think self identifying is a description for wanting to be something you are not. If you are a born female you will be female you don't self identify as female you just are. You would only need to self identify if you were a woman and you felt male because you are stating you feel different from what you actually are. Same as being white or black. If you are as you were born you just don't self identify there is no need.

pineapplebryanbrown · 01/02/2019 08:13

Does it mean something which is not immediately obvious and therefore needs pointing out? People assume I'm English due to my accent but I'm actually Scottish. It's an understandable assumption that i rarely correct.

EmeraldShamrock · 01/02/2019 08:16

Do people really need to 'self identify' as everything?
Only certain people, mostly transsexual and some of the youthful generation.
It is catching on desperately, My DD was watching Youtube, she informed me this is xx she identifies as a doll.
I told her it is silly talk and you can't self identify and change ID.
She now wants to be a carrot.

jellyfrizz · 01/02/2019 08:18

What about a person born with traits of both genders?

Isn’t that pretty much everyone on earth?

MephistophelesApprentice · 01/02/2019 08:19

I identify as God-Emperor of Humanity (currently on sabbatical).

Beaverhausen · 01/02/2019 08:19

It self identification claptrap is a load of snowflake bullshit. The world has bigger problems to deal with than to give mentally unstable assholes more reasons to feel sorry for themselves.

OftenHangry · 01/02/2019 08:32

Well, I self identify as British.
Now I just need Home Office to stop being so anti transnationality and give me a British passport. Shame on them denying me who I really am. I queue for a bus fgs and tut at people who try to skip the queue.

OftenHangry · 01/02/2019 08:32
Grin
BrylcreamBeret · 01/02/2019 08:35

Here op let me clear that up for you.

I self identify as... really means I've thrown all objective reality to the wind and I'm demanding to be treated like a fairy king from planet Znarg. I'm just that fucking brave and stunning.

Ragwort · 01/02/2019 08:39

Reminds me of the sort of self indulgent, inane, navel-gazing, waste of time discussions I had as a student in the 1970s.

Why don’t you just get on with your life instead of worrying what you ‘self identify’ as? Hmm

Waspnest · 01/02/2019 08:42

But it doesn't matter how Jack and John feel about France, it is up to the French authorities to determine whether either of them are French and can have a French passport. Using your logic any migrant or asylum seeker could come to the UK and declare they were British because they felt an affinity with the country and would automatically be given a British passport. But I think you know this is all bollocks and you're just stirring really.

OftenHangry · 01/02/2019 08:56

@Waspnest if that was aimed at my post...
I was joking. I thought it might be obvious but just in case I added a smily face after...

Babdoc · 01/02/2019 09:04

You can’t “self identify” out of the facts, OP. If one could, all the young girls in Africa facing genital mutilation would simply identify as males to avoid it.
Self identity is merely delusional belief. If a body has XY chromosomes, a penis and testes, then it’s male. Whatever its owner thinks it is, or wishes it was.
And I take issue with your mention of “gender traits”. There aren’t any. There are just damaging stereotypes inflicted by a patriarchal society. Feminists have fought these for over a century, and we’re incensed that the trans rights activists are trying to inflict them on our children and young people all over again.
It is not definitively “female” to like lipstick and high heels. Many women wouldn’t be seen dead in them.
XX chromosomes and female genitals are the ONLY things that all women have in common. Self identity has nothing to do with it, and I resent the TRAs putting on a caricature female “costume” and trying to enforce it as a norm. It’s as offensive as putting on blackface and claiming to be an African.

ladyvimes · 01/02/2019 09:08

Who bloody well cares?! Give me strength!

Needadoughnut · 01/02/2019 09:10

I'm Hispanic and Jewish.. even thy the UK has been my home for the past 10 years I find it very hard to identify myself as British.

NCjustforthisthread · 01/02/2019 09:13

What on Earth!?!!? Why must we self identify with anything? We are all just surely human/male/female? Christ - when did it get so bloody complicated. I am human, female. That’s what I am. I pray to god this dies down when my children are grown, I would hate for them to be asked bizarre questions like this!

NCjustforthisthread · 01/02/2019 09:15

Trump is sending America back thousands of years, Brexit hell is looming, and people are asking other what they self identify with. Jesus Christ.