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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you how you self-identify?

173 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 20:54

Inspired by the thread about people identifying as men/women. I wonder if any of you self-identifies as different than people would identify him.
To give an example: I am from a mixed cultural background. I self-identify as a member of several of those cultures... mostly of one but also a bit of the others... even though people typically say you can be a member of just one culture and that you cannot be a member of a culture unless you speak the language. In one case I do not speak the language but identify as a member of that culture anyway because me great-grandmother spoke the language and I knew her. I might not make sense to anybody but me but this is how I self- identify. How about you?

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AhhhHereItGoes · 31/01/2019 20:57

I identify as a Late twenties, White British visually impaired Female.

Ellisandra · 31/01/2019 20:58

I don’t think you have to speak a language to have a link to a culture, as there are other aspects to a culture.
I find it odd that your reasoning is that you met your great grandmother and she spoke that language.
I wouldn’t find it odd if you’d spent holidays being cooked food from and told stories from that culture, by her.

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 21:02

@Ellisandra My great-grandmother was already very old when I was a child and she did not cook anymore... but she told me about the life she had as a young girl in that culture... but of course that culture has changed a lot since then but I have traveled to the country she came from and liked it a lot.

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Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 21:06

@Ahhereitgoes I wonder if there are many people who have an impairment but do not identify as impaired. I know a man who was born without an impairment but has a physical impairment now and he told me he does not see himself as impaired.

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ISmellBabies · 31/01/2019 21:11

I identify as myself in my 20s when i was young, slim and attractive. It's a horrible shock and bitter disappointment whenever i catch sight of myself in a mirror or photo.

nokidshere · 31/01/2019 21:13

I don't identify as anything Confused I'm just me.

CocoDeMoll · 31/01/2019 21:14

@ismellbabies mirrors are literally violent. They are out to destroy you.

AntlersOfFlowers · 31/01/2019 21:15

I'd like to identify as Jennifer Lawrence. Thankyou.

Howvery · 31/01/2019 21:16

I’m a Hufflepuff

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 21:18

@nokidshere: I think we all identify as something all of the time... If I would ask you questions like “Are you a woman“, “Are you a Brit?“, “Are you a Jahovas witness“,“Are you a fan of paw patrol“.

The moment I ask you if you are a fan of paw patrol and you tell me you are not you self-identify as somebody who is not a fan of paw patrol... at least thesis what I think self-identifying is about but maybe I am wrong.

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WeirdAndPissedOff · 31/01/2019 21:19

I don't really identify as anything. I've never "felt" female, or White, etc.
I do still feel like I'm in my teens - it often feels like nothings changed since leaving school other than my age.

SoleBizzz · 31/01/2019 21:19

I am what I am and what i am needs no excuses..

Jsmith99 · 31/01/2019 21:21

I self-identify as a human being. Identity politics is a plague.

SpamChaudFroid · 31/01/2019 21:22

I identify as myself in my 20s when i was young, slim and attractive. It's a horrible shock and bitter disappointment whenever i catch sight of myself in a mirror or photo.

Grin I was just about to write the same! Do you mind me asking ISmellBabies do you have DCs? Because I don't, or nieces/nephews, and I wonder if that makes you less aware of growing older, if that makes sense?

AhhhHereItGoes · 31/01/2019 21:23

@@Flyingfish2019 I think acknowledging you have a difficulty means you can help combat the issues it causes. If you don't acknowledge it, it's hard to make changes. I used to try and hide it in school but - it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Andcake · 31/01/2019 21:25

I don't self identify as anything...I just feel like me.

I don't think o feel particularly male or female and find the whole concept of identifying a bit weird.

RaininSummer · 31/01/2019 21:25

Similarly... I identify as an attractive, slim late twenty something until I recall that I am a tubby grandmother whose best days are long gone.

Shelvesoutofbooks · 31/01/2019 21:26

I identify as a well stocked snack cupboard. Mostly chocolatey, but plenty of crisps here. Yesterday I identified as a BBQ chicken burger. Sometimes I identify as a carrot. It's all good.

Pickled0nion · 31/01/2019 21:28

Northern working class is a major part of my identity. Also white heterosexual and female. I don’t identify as cis-gender though Smile

AmoraObscura · 31/01/2019 21:29

Identify schmidentify

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 21:30

@Ahhereitgoes That is probably right. Actually I do think in this case it has to do with him self-identifying as ex military and I never served but I know a lot of people who did and I think it is difficult to self-identify as military/exmilitary and impaired at the same time... I know people who identify as both (or so I think) but they do not seem to be happy with it.

I talked with some ex military guys about weight a while ago and learned that for some it is really difficult to self-identify as anything other than ideal weight because “being fat“ stands for everything they do not want to be. Nobody used the word self-identify here but I think this is what it was about.

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JamieIsCooking · 31/01/2019 21:32

All this self identify stuff is a display of unhealthy narcissism, handy to know who to avoid.

Flyingfish2019 · 31/01/2019 21:34

@JamieIsCooking why is it narcistic to self-identify. Wouldn’t you be able to answer the question if I ask you if you are a man or a woman? If you would be able you self-identify as one of the genders... or I misunderstood what self-identify means.

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JamieIsCooking · 31/01/2019 21:35

It's focus on self. I talk about the weather etc.

nokidshere · 31/01/2019 21:36

@*nokidshere: I think we all identify as something all of the time... If I would ask you questions like “Are you a woman“, “Are you a Brit?“, “Are you a Jahovas witness“,“Are you a fan of paw patrol“.
*
The moment I ask you if you are a fan of paw patrol and you tell me you are not you self-identify as somebody who is not a fan of paw patrol... at least thesis what I think self-identifying is about but maybe I am wrong.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

What a load of pretentious fucking claptrap.