To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

Whoops hit post too soon, hang on..

There's so much more to life than academic intelligence. DD was always extremely bright, well ahead academically and above average at everything including art and sport etc. She is at uni now and is extremely hard working and focused and I'm sure because of this she will achieve whatever she puts her mind to.

DS is was always average or behind as a young child, however over the years it's become more and more obvious he has the ability but doesn't apply himself. Unfortunately he's like me and lives on his own world. He's 15 and has been told he should be getting top GCSE grades (better than DD) , however both the school and myself feel he's unlikely to achieve them due to his inability to apply himself

One is, one isn’t! The brightest one has the smallest amount of common sense!

I only have a ten month old and have always thought he's behind, because other mums claimed their baby was eating a three course meal at six months, walking not long after and talking non-stop.

He just started nursery and apparently he's quite advanced in all his physical and fine motor skills 😂

Mine are in their 20s now.

Ds1 always struggled and us moving him to several schools didn't help ( reasons why too boring to go into)
He has dyspraxia and although he did pass his exams and went to college he was always borderline and is now in a permanent but low skilled job : happy enough but will never earn a fortune and had many problems getting a job before this etc.
Ds2 was much more academic but has other issues. Struggled a bit at uni : I feel he will struggle more with M H issues though.

Other friends and family all seemed to have exceptionally bright children ( one friend her daughter is training at med school ) and high earners. I worry that I didn't push them enough really!
I know I struggled at school and was always ' average'. It's amazing how many other peoples children are all so clever!
I think that people do not like to admit that their children are just ordinary and not particularly academic. Their talents lie in other areas.
It's a competitive world unfortunately.
I imagine it's even worse these days too.

I hate the word bright to refer to intelligence (or something like that, that's the problem, it's a vague means nothing word). Should be reserved for light bulbs & the sun.

I think she's a bloddy genius. She's only one though so it's hard to say exactly what at

But seriously, I think I have the natural parent response of both thinking my child is absolutely brilliant, but at the same time the logical part of my brain realises they are not amazing to other people, so I wouldn't be saying anything about it except to DH in private where we allow ourselves to be a bit silly.

DS1 is clever when it comes to things that interest him - he was a fluent reader aged 4, and now, at 7, he is great with computers and building elaborate Lego creations. He's pretty good at Maths. He struggles a lot with writing and drawing though, and isn't socially advanced.

DS2 is 4 and much more rounded than DS1. I'd say he's average, he doesn't have any obvious specific talents like DS1 does now/did at 4, but he also doesn't struggle with anything in particular and is more socially skilled than DS1.

There definitely is a lot of competitiveness around this and a lot of parents being smug when their children are academically gifted. But life is a marathon not a sprint... Also I was a gifted child and am now a SAHM who has never earned much above minimum wage and who struggles to even get through a job interview - I know full well academic skills don't guarantee any kind of success.

I always knew my DS was exceptionally bright. He always had a thirst for learning, was reading and writing very early and picked up new concepts very quickly. He excelled at school, got 4 A*s at A level and is now doing very well in his third year of maths and computer science at a top uni. However, he has crippling anxiety and is on the autistic spectrum so struggles in other ways so being clever is not the be all and end all.

His younger sister who is now 6 is so much like him it’s like raising the same child again. Sometimes I think I’d rather she wasn’t quite so clever really as long as she was happy

Ds 4 is academically average atm but has a good vocabulary and knows things like the difference between herbivores,carnivores and omnivores etc things which a lot of his peers wouldn't know.He is bright imo

Well my little one has just turned 21 months and my mum kept telling me how advanced she was since about 10 months. I'm like mum yeah yeah everyone thinks their baby is so clever.

However I started to notice when she was about 14/15 months that her speech was far advanced and she started to sing songs, full nursery rhymes. She's so much further advanced than kids older than her. She could count from 1 to 10 since about 18 months, I'm not under the illusion that she understands that but does count going up n down stairs. She can say the alphabet from a to I quite clearly then just the tune with some of the correct letters. She's now stringing sentences together, like mama where are you, daddy car come home and is just generally a little parrot right now lol. She often says sorry and thank you in the correct context with your name attached, thank you mama, it's soooo cute!

So while I think she's super clever for her age it could all change in the next few yrs. I do think most ppl exaggerate how clever their child is maybe they don't actually know what them average is. However there is nothing wrong with being average or even below average. I'd rather my kids were nice ppl over being clever.

A lot of focus is placed on intelligence and having a well paid job, it doesn't always work like that though.

Average. Then again I'm not exactly intelligent but my husband is! I think he takes after me.

I always get the good old "my daughter is so clever", even one showing me her 2 year old child writing her own name... and saying she speaks clear, concise sentences. My DS does not lol. He can say some words clearly but does get muddled when trying to speak a sentence but whatever, seriously.

Every child is different and unique in their own way! They will develop and nurture as we grow with them.

DS1 has always been academic, 1st class honours degree then having decided to completely change his career choice, is now head of development in his chosen field. People instantly warm to him..
DS2 is the polar opposite due to Dyspraxia, non academic though he tries so hard, sociably awkward.. he wants to be like his big brother and it breaks my heart.

Why should we be reluctant to admit that our child is not academically average or above? I blame the British education system which sets such a high value on academia and much less value on other skills.

I would also blame the system for never admitting that a child is academically below average. It's not politically correct to say so apparently, so no one will ever say anything of the sort. Teachers don't even dare stating that a child is lazy.

I am not that ancient, but even in my days the teachers comment were frank, and as robust as necessary. These days are long gone. (I am not blaming individual teachers for it btw)

DS1 (11) is not an academic child, he's clever, a good problem solver but barely average at school. He's more creative, performing, storytelling, that's his "thing".

DS2 (4) is incredible, self taught at reading, spelling, writing, adding, subtracting and Spanish. You'd have to see it to believe it. Nursery can't keep up with him. He fills out workbooks intended for year 2 children for fun. He's not even at school yet. He has autism and other very complex issues, and is completely unaware of social expectations, also still in nappies, but I think school will definitely be his thing.

DS3 (2) late meeting all milestones, says about 6 words. Calls his auntie "mum", and calls me by his keyworkers name. Doesn't seem to have much awareness of anything. Licks everything. Definitely not bright. Always smiling though!

My son appears so far to be "average" academically but his practical skills, fine motor and motor skills far exceed the expectation for his age.

Everyone keeps telling me how "bright" "Quick" "advanced "or "clever" my DS is and it drives me mad. He's only 17 months and while it's nice to think he's developing well, I can't help but think the expectations are already so high, when realistically he's on 17 months and as long as he is happy and healthy that's all I care about.

My brother is extremely bright, he didn't have to try at all academically and flew through uni. Everybody says that my DS is just like DB and will be so academic ....again he's only 17months !!!

DD1 (12) is academically average but has super high emotional intelligence.

DD2 (9) a little above average in some areas, she is super articulate and quick to learn anything that is hands-on.

DD3 (7) above average across the board, but would rather be running about. She has to be walked like a spaniel!

DS1 (1 month) very good at timing poop to just when I have got really warm and comfy in bed

DS is only 5 so a bit early to tell really but I don't think he's going to be exceptionally academic. He's currently on target for his age but not overachieving.

I don't think learning to walk/talk/count early is any indication whatsoever of how "bright" a child is going to be. I don't think it's possible to measure it until they start school and I always roll my eyes at parents who go on about how "bright" their toddlers are.

I was very clever as a child and ahead of a lot of my peers yet due to circumstances I've done fuck all with my life (no qualifications and work in a low paid admin job.) My hairdresser who I went to school with was rubbish at academic work and yet she is incredibly talented at doing hair, self employed and earns way more than me.

I think my DS is exceptionally bright., he is.
My DD 1 is very bright
DD 2 is below average academically but talented artistically.

DD6 is G&T DD3 is average.

DD6 is hard work. DD3 is delightful.

Bright ain't everything.

Mine are ahead of their age group (book bands, talking ability) but they are still pretty young so hard to know how they will progress. Academic stuff seems to come easily to them. I think it is more important that they learn emotional intelligence and how to deal with people, though.

DS (15) is sharp as you like. Quick, funny, smart. Could do exceptionally well academically if he could be arsed. Been seriously ill and also been dropped from elite sport so resilience is building. There's something about him - he's going to be successful I'm sure but not sure he'll ever be content.

DD (12) is average academically - struggles with logic. Is awesome at art & music, and is a happy soul with lots of friends.

Academia isn't important to us especially - I want to raise children that turn into adults with rounded social, emotional, ethical values that are happy & can form lasting relationships.

My DD is 22 months, so you can't tell anything.

However, what surprised me about having a baby is how you feel about your own situation. I am moderately dyslexic/dyspraxic, and I did not expect to feel so blindsided by my own limitations. At the moment I can't manage the babygate at her nursery, and I can't tighten or loosen the straps on her travel seat (I put her in more/less clothes and adapt the car heating, instead). Of course, whenever she does some tiny thing I am delighted, but I think my experience makes me very keen to say that the important thing is being well supported, not being bright.

DD is averagely bright I guess. Not the smartest kid in class but achieves well across the board and particularly things she has an interest in. Gets a lot of exceeding in her school reports,but so do others. Hence the average.
The main thing for me though is that she absolutely loves school , has a good social life and has varied interests.